R.I.P. Winker Sue Cross

…our sweet little Winkerdog

Yesterday, February 23, 2012, at 9:30 pm we said goodbye to Winker. After pulling through from congestive heart failure brought on by her enlarged heart almost exactly a year ago, she had a relapse that we could do nothing about. She died at home, on the floor next to Grace’s chair, not long after Grace had petted and talked to her.

Even though, from the very day we adopted her 5+ years ago, we knew this day would come, it still came way to soon.

The best veterinarians in the world, at UC Davis, had looked Winker over back then so the Yolo County SPCA could put her up for adoption. They determined that she had a pretty severe heart murmur, which besides precluding ever putting her under anesthesia also meant that she had slim odds of living the average Basset Hound lifespan of 10-12 years. Besides all of that, she had slightly deformed front legs and her skull was not up to Basset standards. Also, she had lost one eye as a puppy. A pretty hard life for a dog who was barely 3 years old.

But when Grace and I saw her picture online, we knew we had to give this sweet little girl a loving home. We adopted her knowing that she was living on borrowed time.

Winker turned out to be one of the sweetest tempered, friendliest and most loving dogs I’ve ever known. She liked everyone and was always wanting to say hello to people, animals, whatever. She did not have a mean bone in her body. Everybody liked her.

She was our little comedian, our rowdy little wrassler, our little sneak thief and our baby.

She was our Winkerdog and we will always love her and miss her.

Goodbye, Winker. You were a very good girl.

Time For Time Off

This blog is on a short hiatus due to family problems and health issues. I will try to get back to it as soon as I am able.

Doc

It Was Time For Hot Chocolate And Bourbon

…together in a large mug

Doc Update

1: Dundracon was great. Was going to write a report here, but…

…2: Winker is not feeling well at all. It’s her heart acting up again.

3: Healthwise, I’m doing ok, but I’m back on the Diet Train.

4: I’ll do Doclopedia entries tonight or tomorrow.

More blogging later.

The Journal Of The Royal Society Of Stuffy Old Gents

…harrumph! I say!

The Doclopedia #413

The Alphabet, Again: G is for…Guys Wearing Floppy Hats

Guys Wearing Floppy Hats (GWFH) was one of the hottest musical groups of the 1980′s. They had a string of hits beginning with “You Can Wear My Hat” and peaking with “Big & Floppy”. They deftly combined swing, disco & polka music with a rowdy and energetic stage show. During their 1985 “Hats On Fire” tour, they filled the biggest stadiums to capacity and played 300 dates in 365 days.

Sadly, the group totally lost their audience when psychedelic classical rap music started appearing. Their last performance was in 1990 at the Tequila-A-Go-Go in Ojai, California. Since then, most of the band has gone into accounting, except Jimmy “Ed” Cobalt, who became a used car salesman.

Please Deposit $100,000.00 For This Post

…even if only a couple of you do it, I’m debt free

YOW! I’m not fully packed up for Dundracon yet, plus there are about 35 gazillion things to do here at The D&G Home for Spoiled Hounds. See, this is why I have to take blood pressure pills.

At any rate, I found time to do a Doclopedia post, because I live only to see your smiles, Gentle Readers.

The Doclopedia #412

The Alphabet, Again: G is for… Gold Rock Kid

In March of 1851, the young masked outlaw known as the Gold Rock Kid committed his first known crime by robbing the gold shipment heading out from Gold Rock, California, to San Francisco. He and his gang of four other masked men got away with just shy of $50,000 worth of gold bars. When the stage coach driver asked him his name, he said “just call me the Gold Rock Kid”.

Over the next 5 years, the Gold Rock Kid and his gang robbed 12 gold shipments on stage coaches and 4 more on trains. Crack shots every one, the gang almost never had to kill anyone, instead being satisfied with shooting the guns from the hands of the guards. The only two times they ever killed anyone were when Flatface Jordan, a stage driver much given to drink, let his hot temper get the better of him and when Matt Cannon, noted gun for hire, told the Kid to throw down. In general, most of the guards & drivers involved in the robberies said that the Kid and his gang were pretty polite and respectful. Rumors that the gang tossed a few bars of gold to their victims were never proven, but widely suspected.

The Gold Rock Kid was last seen riding away from the Mother Lode Special after robbing the train, the owner of the railroad and several other prominent businessmen of every penny he could find. Also on the train was the beautiful daughter of the owner of the largest bank in the United States. Although it was reported that the Kid kidnapped her, it is pretty well known that kidnap victims do not laugh and kiss their kidnappers before jumping into the saddle of an extra horse and riding away.

No member of the gang or the young lady were ever seen again.

However, in 1928, 95 year old Gilbert Pattson, a prominent businessman and four time mayor of Yuma, Arizona, told reporters that he had been a member of the Gold Rock Gang and that the Kid and his bride had assumed new identities and traveled the world for several years before returning to the United States and raising a family. He did not disclose their names or any other information about them before he died a month later.

Perky Twits

…everybody hates them

The Doclopedia #411

The Alphabet, Again: F is for…Feline Telekinesis Syndrome

What is Feline Telekinesis Syndrome?: Although not fully understood by the scientific and medical establishment, it appears that FTS causes cats to manifest the ability to move things merely by thinking of it. In most cases, the afflicted cat can only move things weighing a few ounces and can only move them a few inches. In a very few cases, certain cats have shown much more powerful abilities, such as the Maine Coon cat that belonged to a family in San Ysidro, California. On two occasions, this cat held the families Yorkshire terrier a full 18 inches above the floor for a full minute and a half.

FTS usually pops up in about 1 cat in 1,000, most often in either very old or very young cats. It seldom lasts for more than six months. No breed of cat is more likely than another to develop it. Sex makes no difference, although it does appear to afflict females more than males. It only affects pet cats who spend most of their time indoors.

Is FTS dangerous to my cat?: No, it is not, nor is it generally dangerous to anyone else. Most cats seem to only it to pull food off of counters or to steal toys from other pets.

Is there a way to protect my cat from getting it?: Not at this time.

Is FTS related to Canine Teleportation Syndrome?: There is some evidence that it might be, since you often find pets with both syndromes in the same house, bu so far, nobody knows for sure.

The 13 Things You Never Want Have In Your Pants

…#6: Weasels!

A Call For Suggestions

Gentle Readers,

I need your help with the Doclopedia. In a couple of months, I want to do between 30 and 60 posts on the theme of “Subject Line Madness”, in which each entry will expand upon some of the nearly 2,000 (actually, by then, over 2,000) subject lines/titles I’ve used on my blogs over the last 8 years. Back on Live Journal (before it went down the tubes) I used to do annual Subject Line recaps every January.

Here is where you can find them in the archives…

2004 Subject Lines: Jan 8 & 9, 2005

2005 Subject Lines: Jan 1, 2006

2006 Subject Lines: Jan 4-8, 2007

2007 Subject Lines: Jan 5, 2008

2008 Subject Lines: Jan 22nd, 24th & 26th, 2009

2009 Subject Lines: Jan, 1-3, 2010

I didn’t do recaps for 2010 or 2011, so you can either search by month, wait for the list for those years or say screw it and just look through the lists above. Do note that these recaps contain my comments on the subject lines, so you might get caught up reading them.

Any suggestions I choose to use will get the name of the suggester prominently displayed on the post.

Thanks a bunch, folks.

Your Humble Author

Talking Business With Mom

Around 11:30 this morning, just after returning from breakfast out with Grace, the phone rang and it was my mom calling. In typical fashion for my mother when she wants to talk about something serious, she was very vague, saying only that she needed me to come up to her house in Marysville to discuss “business”. Since we are not actually involved in a business, I knew that it at least in part meant money.

So a couple hours later, I drove up there and got the scoop.

First she told me that she was going to sign her car, which we are buying from her since last june, over to us. I pretty much expected that.

Then she told me that a couple of months ago, she found a lump on her breast. Now, if there is one thing my mom knows about, it’s cancer. Her mother and her mother’s twin sister both died of it. one of my mom’s own sister’s died of it. My dad and stepdad both died of it. And in the early 1960′s, my mom herself fought it and survived it.

So she went a week or so ago to see my sister’s no nonsense doctor, who told her it was almost certainly cancer. But there were no tests done yet.

And there won’t be too many done next week when Mom goes in again. A few blood tests and an x-ray is all that will be done.

Why? Because that is all Mom wants done. She firmly told the doctor that there would be no big needles, no cutting open, no painful tests. Should it prove to be a malignant tumor, there will be no chemotherapy, no surgery, no radiation…in short, no treatment. Pain meds when the pain gets bad, but that is it.

Also no hospice or hospitals.

As Mom told me, she’s nearly 84 and not inclined to suffer all of those tests and treatments only to find out they didn’t work or if they did, just to “hang around a few more years all weak with parts missing”.

Now, I could have argued with her (amazingly, neither of my siblings did) and, given that I have all the legal powers over her that she could give me a few years ago, I could force her to get treatment, but that ain’t gonna happen.

Mom has made her choice and, were I in her place, it would probably be the one I would make. She is opting to go forward on her terms, knowing full well what the end will be. It’s her choice to make.

Some people might think this is crazy and ask why she would not fight for every extra secondminutehourdayweekmonthyear she could get. I’m not sure they would understand, but here’s my (and Grace’s take on it.

Life is not about the destination, because we all end up at the same place in the end. Life is about the journey.

And my mom has had a long, extremely eventful journey full of all those things humans experience. Maybe more than many experience. She’s lived though the Great Depression, many wars, social upheaval, love, childbirth, pain, happiness, loss…everything that happened to her between 1928 and the present.

But the last few years have been a pretty lonely stretch of the journey. Two husbands and all of her siblings gone, along with just about every friend her own age and several who were younger…children and grandchildren all grown up…health pretty good, but a touch less every year…less and less desire to go places she’s been to a million times. Life has become more of a burden and I think Mom is tired of carrying it.

She’s winding down. We all do it sooner or later, but for some people it’s just easier to do. If you know that sort of person, it’s easier to see. I’ve seen it happening to Mom over the past 3-4 years.

Does this bother me? No, not at all. Everybody should be able to check out of this life whenever they truly want to. My mom is no exception. As I said before, it’s her choice

Now, Mom told me that she will stick around as long as she can, and she may well last a good long while. Hell, the lump in her breast could be benign. She’s in a remarkably calm and fatalistic mood about all this and her sense of humor is still sharp.

But being of Irish stock, we’ll go into this thinking Death is just outside waiting in his car, ready to come ring the doorbell anywhere from tomorrow to years from now. We’ll assume Mom is dying. After all the cancer related deaths in our family, it’s how we roll.

I love my mother and when she is gone, I’ll miss her very much, but until then, I’ll play this out by Mom’s rules.

Thanks for listening.

Is That A Mark III Thermo Unit In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me?

…oh my, it’s armed!

The Doclopedia #409

The Alphabet, Again: F is for… Fingers Of Hell

The Fingers of Hell first appeared on one of the magic based Earths just after a great war had begun. Extending up out of the ground, they were five 1 mile long writing columns of what looked like smoke and magma. From these fingers poured hundreds of man sized demons that proceeded to wreak havoc on all of the armies fighting in the war.

The destruction was terrible and just seeing it drove many soldiers mad. To this day, 300 years later, the written reports on the atrocities committed that day are sealed and locked away to protect anyone from reading them.

Since their initial appearance, the Fingers of Hell have been seen a dozen or so times around the world, almost always at sites of armed conflict. One of the few non-conflict related times was the day the wicked and cruel city of Drohar was reduced to rubble in a matter of hours. Not a single person in the city survived and now, almost nobody will go within 5 miles of the ruins. Among those who do dare to go closer, sightings of huge “things” in the area are commonplace, as are the regularly heard sound of screams.

Scholars and Wizards have many theories about the Fingers of Hell, but perhaps not surprisingly, none of these theories have ever been tested.

The Doclopedia #410

The Alphabet, Again: F is for… Filby, The Happy Marmot

With a name like Filby, The Happy Marmot, you’d think this was some kid oriented series of books. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Filby books, while set in a world of talking animals, are gritty thrillers full of suspense, sex, violence and intrigue. Filby has an average kill rate of 21.5 victims per novel. He has sex, often of the more kinky variety, 4.75 times per book.

There have been 14 novels so far and 5 of them have been made into movies. Rather than try to train real animals, the movies use CGI placed into real locations. All of these movies are rated R.

Linguine With Clem Sauce

…umm, no thanks, Clem

The Doclopedia #407

The Alphabet, Again: E is for…Elephants, Pink

In the Tooniverse, Pink Elephants appear whenever a character gets drunk or is having a case of the DTs. Sometimes they just hang around, but often there will be a bunch of them doing a musical number, usually about the evils of drink. Sometimes they will actively mess with the drunk, playing pranks or changing shape. Whatever the case, the drunken character is usually scared into swearing off booze, at least for a short while.

Pink Elephants can range in size from mouse sized (often with wings so they can fly) to enormous. They can all change shape, color and size. Many of them can speak, often in a spooky voice. When not messing with drunks, most Pink Elephants live pretty normal lives by toon standards. An important thing to note is that no Pink Elephant ever actually drinks alcohol, since it is a phenomenally potent laxative for them and nobody wants to clean up pink poop.

The Doclopedia #408

The Alphabet, Again: E is for…Elks, Dancing

“The Dancing Elks? Hell yes I remember them! Look, I was running five theaters in New England that were on the Orpheum circuit back when vaudeville was at the top of the entertainment heap. I met all the greats…Hope, Burns & Allen, Jack Benny, Al Jolson…you name ‘em, I knew ‘em, but those elks, they blew everybody else off the stage!”

Max Maxwell, theater owner

“Oh sure, I knew them. They were really big stars when I was just starting out. Not being human meant they could play the Negro vaudeville circuit, too. And man, did they ever! They always topped the show, but afterwards, they would go out to the lobby and put their hoofprints on photos for folks. I heard somewhere that those photos go for two or three thousand dollars each now. Anyway, they were really sweet and when they made that movie “Dancing Through Canada”, they got me a part where I sang a number while Olaf and Hilda danced to it. That role launched my film career.”

Patsy Samuels, singer & actress

“There were six of them. Olaf, Hilda, Greg, Monty, Evie and Phyllis. Came outta Canada back in 1921 and headed straight to Broadway in New York. Started dancing up and down the street, really cutting a rug. Drew a helluva crowd and snarled traffic for two hours. By that evening, they were signed up with old Jake Sherman and he was getting them primed for hitting the circuit. After that, the story is pretty well documented. Vaudeville, movies, world tours, USO tours, early tv appearances…hell, they were everywhere. Then, in 1952, they just walked away from it all. Nobody knows why, but they were last seen heading back to Canada. Maybe they had to migrate or breed or something, I dunno, but I do know that we’ll never see their like again.”

Oscar Olowicz, entertainment historian