So We Put His Sports Car In An Oak Tree

…and amazingly, we still graduated

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Two words: Toy Cops

#112: Detective Ted E. Bear

Stats

STR: 2d6
DEX: 2d6
CON: 3d6
INT: 4d6

At the Butte Valley Day Care & Pre-School, Ted E. Bear is the cop who gets the scum off of the street. Dolly hookers, action figure gangs, rowdy wind up robots or stuffed toy mobsters, Detective Bear is on their asses like poop on a diaper. He’s tough, dedicated and quick with a pop gun.

Detective Bear stands 18″ tall and weighs 2 pounds. His fur is dark brown and has a few spit stains. One of his eyes is brown and the other is a black button. He lives behind the big toy box. His favorite drink is Pedialyte on the rocks.

Yellow Doom Flowers

…and aluminum butterflies

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Today’s lawman isn’t really a man, but he serves Our Robot Masters well.

#111: Law Enforcement Unit 3-DR/44 “Wyatt Earp”

Stats

STR: 5d6
DEX: 4d6
CON: 4d20
INT: 5d8

3-DR/44, or Wyatt Earp as the meat units know him, is the primary law enforcement robot in the Madison Sector of Wisconsin Territory. He enforces the peace among the meat units, which is a full time job given their ability to cause trouble. Additionally, he keeps an optical sensor out for any attempted rebellion against the Primary Robotic Masters. Such rebellion is not tolerated and Wyatt is programmed to terminate with extreme predjudice and efficiency all rebels he locates.

Wyatt stands 5 feet 3 inches tall and weighs 900 pounds. He is armed with a full sensor array, a wide assortment of both lethal and non-leathal weapons, a Class 5 robot/human psychological interface chip and armor that can withstand a direct hit by a Light Antitank Weapon.

In his spare time, 3-DR/44 improves his personality programming by watching old cop movies and tv shows. He is particularly fond of Clint Eastwood, Humphrey Bogart and Jack Webb.

The World Famous Mudball Catapult

…fired 5 times in May, 1967

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: A strange little village needs a cool headed top cop.

#110: Chief Constable Wilfred Tilden

Stats

STR: 3d6
DEX: 3d6
CON: 3d8
INT: 4d8

Wilf Tilden is the head cop in the small village of Bogsby. Located “a good two day’s walk from anywhere interesting”, Bogsby is the center for weirdness in Great Britain. Strange shit happens there with great regularity. Ghosts, aliens, strange animals, werewolves, mad scientists, monsters…sooner or later, they all visit Bogsby.

Fortunately for the locals, Wilf will have none of this supernatural carrying on disrupting things on his watch. With the aid of his 2 junior constables, Viv and Peter, he investigates things straightaway and sorts them out. In some cases, this can be as simple as helping an alien gas up their spacecraft with liquefied sheep dung. Other times, a foul creature from the nether regions must be captured or destroyed. All in a days work for C.C. Tilden.

When he first took this assignment, 20 years ago, Wilf would file reports to Scotland Yard, but after a few years, they asked him to stop. It seems they didn’t want to know what was going on if it involved anything paranormal. On the other hand, Wilf has struck up a very active email friendship with a U.S. FBI agent.

Wilfred Tilden is a man of average looks, standing 5’10″ tall and weighing 190 pounds. He has light brown hair, brown eyes and wears wireframe glasses. He is married and has 3 adult children and 2 grandchildren. In his spare time, he likes fishing and gardening.

Purple Pain Pixies

…yeah, I know

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Modern times today, but not your average cop.

#109: Deputy Mark Lindale

Stats

STR: 5d10
DEX: 5d10
CON: 5d10
INT: 3d8

Deputy Lindale has been a sheriff’s deputy for 7 years, but he has been a mutant since puberty. He’s way faster, stronger and tougher than any normal human. As you might imagine, this has sometimes come in very handy on the job.

Even though he has been tempted to become a masked vigilante, Mark has resisted. He figures living one life is enough of a pain in the ass. Besides, masked vigilantes have a terrible benefits package.

Mark is 32 years old, single and ruggedly handsome. He doesn’t have any one steady girl, a fact his mother reminds him of frequently. His dad just gives him a thumbs up. When he’s not driving a police cruiser, Mark is riding his Triumph motorcycle.

Mark has met exactly one other mutant in his life, the world famous serial killer Buddy Ray Cutter. Buddy Ray has the power to move at three times normal speed, which helped him elude the police and butcher people in record time. What it didn’t do is protect him from one of Mark’s punches. Now Buddy Ray is in prison…until he figures out how to escape.

The California Kid Drops A Dime

…summer, 1981

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: This cop has the most unwanted beat in the city…Faerietown.

#108: Inspector Nick Douglas

Stats

STR: 2d8
DEX: 3d6
CON: 2d10
INT: 4d6

Nobody wants the Faerietown beat. Dealing with Pookas, Brownies, Elves, Gnomes, Sprites, Trolls and the dozens of other species of faerie that live there is enough to make a cop give up and become a farmer. Which is exactly why Nick got the job. The brass was hoping that he’d say “screw it” after a few weeks and leave the force. The brass were wrong.

Instead of letting the faeries make him crazy (he has 2 ex-wives for that), Nick learned everything he could about them. Before long, he had trusted contacts among the faerie and was busting crooks right and left. He even got a commendation from the King of Faerietown. Of course, he did make some enemies, but that’s what cold iron bullets are for.

Nick Douglass is 5’11″ tall, weighs 185 pounds, has black hair and brown eyes and walks with a slight limp. His favorite radio show is “The Jack Benny Program”, his favorite drink is scotch on the rocks, his favorite food is Chinese and his favorite gun is a .45 automatic. Nick lives in a small apartment with his cat, Abigail.

Red Red Swine

…not a UB40 song

Dinner was delish, but now it is late and I must work tomorrow, so here is today’s lateass character.

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: A good old fashioned Wild West lawman.

#107: Marshall Bart McKain

Stats

STR: 3d6
DEX: 2d10
CON: 3d8
INT: 3d6

U.S. Marshall Bart McKain is about 90% of the law in Arizona Territory. Most local sheriffs are either cowards or crooks, so Bart has alot of bad guys to deal with. Pretty nice that he likes his work, eh?

Bart is a 6’4″, 325 pound man of mixed Irish & Mexican ancestry. He’s a damned good shot with a rifle and even better with a pistol. Bart is an even tempered man most of the time, but when his temper pops, look out!

Bart owns a small ranch up near the Navajo Nation, but he travels all over the territory on his horse, Jack. Often, he travels with his old pal, Dusty, a man of many words and not enough personal hygiene.

The Summer That We Nearly Went To Woodstock

…accent on the nearly

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Today, we start Lawmen (and women) Week with a fantasy world sheriff who always gets her man…or woman…or orc…or halfling…or elf…

#106: Sheriff Galzea Ovir

Stats

STR: 3d8
DEX: 4d6
CON: 3d10
INT: 3d6

Galzea Ovir is the daughter, granddaughter and great granddaughter of lawmen & women. So well known is her law enforcing family that many criminals just give themselves up if they hear that she is after them. Galzea has been Sheriff of the Greenwood district for 5 years now and the crime rate has plummeted.

Galzea is a 5’4″ woman of mixed human/elvish ancestry. She keeps her greenish blonde hair short and usually wears mithril armor. Her favored weapons are a longbow for distance and a broadsword for close up work. Besides being a 7th level fighter, Galzea is also a 5th level wizard and a 4th level theif. She usually rides a well trained gelding horse named “Storm”.

Pit Bulls In A Bathtub

…clean and mean

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Our final alien is nearly dead, but could get better at any time.

#105: Lorigal

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 10
Mental: 6
Spiritual: 7

Lorigal is the sole surviving member of the ZhuKot race. When the various slave races rose up and destroyed the ZhuKoth, Lorigal was barely able to escape. Unfortunately, his ship developed an instability in it’s hyperdrive and he had to abandon ship in a lifepod. Fortunately for him, ZhuKoth lifepods are virtually indestructible and the suspended animation freezing units are self repairing. Unfortunately, Lorigal’s lifepod was in the middle of nowhere, so all he could do was lock it onto the nearest star (210 light years away) and head thataway…at 5% the speed of light. Still, Lorigal doesn’t care…he’s frozen solid.

Lorigal stands 9 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 1,200 pounds. He is a tentacled reptile with a centauroid body. When he arrives on a planet that can sustain his type of lifeform (such as Earth), he will initiate his self fertilizing option and give birth to 3-6 fast growing young. Once he has a decent sized army built up, he will start conquering the new planet.

Choice Cuts Of Gopher Meat

…sauteed in olive oil

365 Days, 365 Characters?

First off, I’m not stopping my daily bit of RPG joy. But…

The character below will be my 104th character in a row since I started this. I’ll be doing some more, but the truth is, I’m getting bored thinking up characters. SO…in about a week, I’ll be switching from characters to LOCATIONS. And, should I get bored with locations 100 or so days down the road, I’ll do items or monsters or maybe even characters again. But by Dog, I’ll do SOMETHING every day until the day Grace and I leave for GenCon 2007 next August. And now…

About this character: This alien is not organic, but he does have a lovely singing voice.

#104: Hek 40

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 8
Mental: 8
Spiritual: 1

Hek 40, or Hec Forte as he is known here on Earth, is a member of the Aarini race. The Aarini are robotic life forms from the far side of our galaxy. They generally keep to themselves and their 4 solar systems, but Hek 40 was always an explorer. One day, he explored a wormhole and the next thing he knew he was crash landing on Earth in the year 1930.

It took Hek 40 about 2 weeks to learn everything he needed to know about humans, create an organic covering for his body and become Hec Forte, jazz pianist and singer. So far, he has been on Earth for 10 months and he is enjoying every minute of it. He has an apartment, a girlfriend, lots of musician friends to jam with and a pocket full of money. Life is good.

The Rare And Beautiful Vampire Duck Of Potawango Island

…they vant your blood, kvack kvack

Shit! Almost forgot another character! I blame the dog:)

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: This is a short but sweet entry…and so is the alien.

#103: Dweeno

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 2
Mental: 6
Spiritual: 7

Dweeno is 12 inches tall and looks for all the world like a stuffed teddy bear. He has a very sweet disposition and everyone who meets him likes him. Dweeno is also a very accomplished quantum drive mechanic and can brew a wonderfully potent ale that his people call “Gwiiish”.