Hollow Eyed Vampire Babies

…yikes!

Ganked from em_gumby

• Leave me a comment saying “Resistance is Futile.”
• I’ll respond by asking you five questions so I can satisfy my curiosity
• Update your journal with the answers to the questions
• Include this explanation in the post and offer to ask other people questions

1. Why “Doc” (been wondering for years, but never asked – I figured it was one of those things that “everybody knows”)?

Actually, very few people know the truth of how I got the nickname. Maybe 7 or 8. Most other people only think they know. One of my favorite answers is that I was a hospital corpsman in Viet Nam. This works on young folks who don’t know I’m not quite old enough to have gone to ‘Nam. Another answer is that I’m a Freelance Gynecologist:)

2. As a GM, what is the single, evilist, most horrible thing you have ever done to a player, that you feel good about having done?

The player was a loudmouthed, argumentative dickhead who just happened to have a 12th level fighter/thief that he really loved. After about 3-4 sessions with this asshole, I began setting him up for a long hard fall. When the fateful session came, he was slowly and systematicly stripped of his magic items, potions, loot, armor, weapons and, eventually, 10 of his 12 levels. Oh, yeah, and one of his eyes. Also, he was cursed. The dickhead player was close to tears. He never played with us again. And there was much rejoicing.

3. Favorite dish containing meat?

Hmmm…that’s a toughy…probably tacos.

4. What is the single most wretched experience you have EVER had within a roleplaying game?

Playing a session of Champions with a group of rules lawyers.

5. Name one art form that you don’t currently practice, but always wished you could.

Assuming music is not included, only visual arts, I’d take almost any, since I cannot even draw a stick figure. To be specific tho, I’d like to be able to draw.

IF music is included, then I’d like to be able to play piano.

A Bit Of Deception And A Lot Of Temptation

…and presto, another sheep is shorn

A Meme For Your Amusement

So you and I are going to hang out for awhile (hours? days? weeks?). What sort of mischief are we going to get up to? Be creative.

Bad Tommy Crosses The Wrong Damned Dame

…not all of him was there when they found him

Yet Another “10 Things Meme”

This one is easy…

Ten Things You Want To Do Before You Die

10: Piss on the graves of several ex-presidents of the United States
9: See a family of African elephants in the wilds of Africa
8: Visit Australia and New Zealand
7: Drink Guinness in a pub in Ireland
6: Witness the collapse of worldwide civilization as we know it
5: Walk across the USA
4: Watch a really good Doc Savage movie or television series (animated would be ok)
3: Welcome friendly aliens to Earth
2: Have hot jungle monkey sex with Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johanssen
1: Celebrate my 500th birthday

Uncle Zombie Wants Your Brain

…for a light snack

Stuff

1: On Saturday, we had a meeting with a couple who have a 6 year old female Basset Hound that they are trying to find a home for. The dog, Lucy, has spent the bulk of her life in a home with people who neglected her most of the time. She would spend hours on end locked in her crate. When I hear about people like that, I want to…well, let’s not get into that.

Anyway, the folks (who had rescued her from the neglectful assholes about 6 months ago) brought Lucy to a park so she could meet us and Winker. She was pretty shy towards Winker (who is herself a very submissive and non-threatening dog), but warmed up to Grace and even more so to me, probably because I got down on the ground to pet her and talk to her.

We agreed that we would pick Lucy up next Saturday for a weekend visit at our house. If all goes well, I expect that Lucy will just stay with us for the duration and Winker will have a new sister.

2: HEY! You Dungeon Delvers better get some comments coming my way on that entry from the 15th or else!

3: The veggie garden is growing nicely and the rest of the garden is Flower City.

4: Hey, here’s a meme I just thought up…

The Ring Tone Meme

Ok, so you’ve assigned individual ringtones to each of your friends/relatives. Who gets what and why?

My answers (if I did such a thing) would be…

My Wife: The X Files theme, cos I always say “Hey, Scully, it’s me” when I call her.

My Best Pal, avylou: The theme from The Avengers, cos she was a fan of the show and Emma Peel

My Buddy, smalley_smoot: The theme from The Man From U.N.C.L.E., a show that he is a big fan of.

My Brother, Kelly: “Working Man”, by Merle Haggard, cos he’s always working.

My Good Friends, Spike & Mary: “Incense & Peppermints” by the Strawberry Alarm Clock, cos they are about as hippie looking a couple as I know.

I could think of more, but I need to go to bed. More bloggage tomorrow.

The Story Of The Good Cop And The Bad Politician

…with a happy ending: the politician goes crazy

The ABC Meme

Cos I’m feeling lazy.

A – Age: 55
B – Bed size: Queen size
C – Chore you hate: washing dishes
D – Dog’s name: Winker Sue Cross
E – Essential start your day item: Tea: strong, black & unsweetened
F – Favorite color: Green
G – Gold or Silver: Silver
H – Height: 5’10″ or so
I – Instruments you play(ed): Drums (but not anymore)
J – Job title: Courier
K – Kid(s): Almost certainly none
L – Living arrangements: Me, wife, dog
M – Mom’s name: Gerry
N – Nicknames: Doc, Bo,
O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: appendectomy in December, 1970
P – Pet Peeve: TV shows that run slightly over the hour mark, thereby fucking with mt recording setup
Q – Quote from a movie:”I’ll get you, Dorothy, and your little dog, too!”
R – Right or left handed: Right
S – Siblings: 2
T – Time you wake up: 7 am, plus or minus 15 minutes
U- Underwear: Boxers, briefs or commando. I’m versatile that way.
V – Vegetable you dislike: broccoli, cauliflower, beets
W – Ways you run late: I tend to goof off until after the last second
X – X-rays you’ve had: Every part of my body, at one time or another
Y – Yummy food you make: All of it. I’m a better cook than your momma.
Z – Zoo favorite: Gibbons, parrots, otters and young MILFs in sun dresses.

Miss Winker Takes A Bath

…actually, she was given a bath, which she enjoyed

The 15 Books Meme

Simple premise here…list 15 books (fiction or non-fiction) that have stuck with you over the years.

I list no authors here. Google titles for more info.

1: Green Eggs & Ham
2: A Princess of Mars
3: At The Earth’s Core
4: The Frugal Gourmet
5: The Hobbit
6: The Lord of the Rings
7: The Hound of the Baskervilles
8: Doc Savage, The Man Of Bronze
9: 1st Edition AD&D Players Handbook
10: My Family and Other Animals
11: IT
12: My Life And Hard Times
13: Lucifers Hammer
14: A Fine and Pleasant Misery
15: Square Foot Gardening

Bucky & Squint Build A Meatloaf Golem

…with the help of their pal, Rabbi Bob

The D&D Character Meme

Not as close as it could have been, but not too far off the mark.

I Am A: Neutral Good Human Druid (7th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength-13
Dexterity-15
Constitution-14
Intelligence-15
Wisdom-15
Charisma-16

Alignment:
Neutral Good A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment because it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.

Class:
Druids gain power not by ruling nature but by being at one with it. They hate the unnatural, including aberrations or undead, and destroy them where possible. Druids receive divine spells from nature, not the gods, and can gain an array of powers as they gain experience, including the ability to take the shapes of animals. The weapons and armor of a druid are restricted by their traditional oaths, not simply training. A druid’s Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that they can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Don’t Touch That!

…you touched it anyway, didn’t you?

The “Firsts” Meme

1. Who was your FIRST prom date? A young lady named Stephanie.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love? No. Haven’t seen her since graduation, 1972.

3. What was your 1st alcoholic drink? Beer…Hamm’s, I think.

4. What was your FIRST job? Washing cars for the California Highway Patrol at their substation in Yuba City, CA.

5. What was your FIRST car? Metallic blue 1957 Chevy pickup.

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today? I don’t text.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? My wife, hoping that she feels better at work today.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher? Mrs. Landerman

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane? Richmond, Virginia, 1972, a week after I graduated from high school

10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk? Danny. Haven’t talked to him since about 1991.

11. Where was your FIRST sleep over? Hell if I know. First grade?

12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today? My dog, Winker.

13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time? My own, to my first wife, back in 1975.

14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning? Same thing I do first thing every morning…went to the bathroom and took a leak.

15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to? Jimi Hendrix, a few months before he died.

16. FIRST tattoo? No tatoos here.

17. First piercing? Left earlobe, 1979

18. First foreign country you’ve been to? Canada…Vancouver, BC…1971

19. FIRST movie you remember seeing? In a theatre? Snow White…1958, Stockton, California.

20. When was your FIRST detention? First week of freshman year. The teacher, a stern old bitch, gave about half the class detention each week.

21. What was the first state you lived in? California

22. Who was your FIRST roommate(s)? My first wife.

23. If you had one wish: I’d come home and find our bedroom chest deep in 100 dollar bills, neatly bundled in $10,000 bundles.

24. What is something you would learn if you had the chance? To play the piano.

25. Who do you think will be be next person to post this? I have no idea.

Pixies Come To Deathtown

…originally, the other way ’round, but this is funnier

MEME TIME!

1) Create a new note and copy this list, including these instructions.
2) X all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating. (Hah! As if.)

(x) 1. Venison
(x) 2. Nettle tea
(x) 3. Huevos rancheros
(x) 4. Steak tartare
( ) 5. Crocodile
( ) 6. Black pudding
(x) 7. Cheese fondue
(x) 8. Carp
(x) 9. Borscht
(x) 10. Baba ghanoush
(x) 11. Calamari
(x) 12. Pho
(x) 13. PB&J sandwich
( ) 14. Aloo gobi
(x) 15. Hot dog from a street cart
( ) 16. Epoisses
(x) 17. Black truffle
(x) 18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
(x) 19. Steamed pork buns
(x) 20. Pistachio ice cream
(x) 21. Heirloom tomatoes
(x) 22. Fresh wild berries
(x) 23. Foie gras
(x) 24. Rice and beans
(x) 25. Brawn, or head cheese
(x) 26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
(x) 27. Dulce de leche
(x) 28. Oysters
(x) 29. Baklava
( ) 30. Bagna cauda
(x) 31. Wasabi peas
(x) 32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
( ) 33. Salted lassi
(x) 34. Sauerkraut
(x) 35. Root beer float
(x) 36. Cognac (bonus if with a fat cigar)
( ) 37. Clotted cream tea
(x) 38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
(x) 39. Gumbo
(x) 40. Oxtail
(x) 41. Curried goat
(x) 42. Whole insects
( ) 43. Phaal
(x) 44. Goat’s milk
(x) 45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
( ) 46. Fugu
(x) 47. Chicken tikka masala
(x) 48. Eel
(x) 49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
(x) 50. Sea urchin
(x) 51. Prickly pear
(x) 52. Umeboshi
(x) 53. Abalone
(x) 54. Paneer
(x) 55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
(x) 56. Spaetzle
(x) 57. Dirty gin martini
(x) 58. Beer above 8% ABV
( ) 59. Poutine
(x) 60. Carob chips
(x) 61. S’mores
(x) 62. Sweetbreads
( ) 63. Kaolin
( ) 64. Currywurst
(x) 65. Durian
(x) 66. Frogs’ legs
(x) 67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears, or funnel cake
( ) 68. Haggis
(x) 69. Fried plantain
(x) 70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
(x) 71. Gazpacho
(x) 72. Caviar and blini
( ) 73. Louche absinthe
( ) 74. Gjetost, or brunost
( ) 75. Roadkill
( ) 76. Baijiu
(x) 77. Hostess Fruit Pie
(x) 78. Snail
(x) 79. Lapsang souchong
( ) 80. Bellini
(x) 81. Tom yum
(x) 82. Eggs Benedict
(x) 83. Pocky
( ) 84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant
(x) 85. Kobe beef
(x) 86. Hare
(x) 87. Goulash
(x) 88. Edible_flowers
( ) 89. Horse
( ) 90. Criollo chocolate
(x) 91. Spam
(x) 92. Soft shell crab
( ) 93. Rose harissa
(x) 94. Catfish
(x) 95. Mole poblano
(x) 96. Bagel and lox
(x) 97. Lobster Thermidor
(x) 98. Polenta
( ) 99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
(x) 100. Snake

The 32 Things You Can Do With A Cup Of Soup And A Norfolk Terrier

…assuming the terrier knows how to sit and roll over

That Top 50 TV Show Meme

As always, I mock all of the bolding, underlining and strikeovering and insert my pithy comments.

50. Quantum Leap (Watched it semi-regularly. Pretty good show)
49. Prison Break (I’ve never seen it.)
48. Veronica Mars (Never watched it)
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (I watched the first couple of seasons religiously, then watched it semi-regularly)
46. Sex & The City (I’ve seen maybe two episode)
45. Farscape (Watched maybe 8 episodes spread out over 2-3 seasons)
44. Cracker (Nope)
43. Star Trek (Oh yeah, you betcha. I remember seeing the first episode back in the ’60s)
42. Only Fools and Horses (Huh? Never heard of it)
41. Band of Brothers (nope)
40. Life on Mars (Nope. Doesn’t even sound interesting to me.)
39. Monty Python’s Flying Circus (Oh hell yes.)
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm (Nope)
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation (Watched it every week. Liked it better than TOS, especially once Roddenberry was out of the picture)
36. Father Ted (Nope)
35. Alias (Nope)
34. Frasier (I think I saw 3 episodes.)
33. CSI: Las Vegas (Watch it every week, altho now that Grissom is gone…)
32. Babylon 5 (Saw maybe 4 episodes. Thought it was a yawnfest.)
31. Deadwood (Saw 4 episode. Not a bad show.)
30. Dexter (Nope)
29. ER (Saw the first episode)
28. Fawlty Towers (You betcha. John Cleese rules!)
27. Six Feet Under (Nope)
26. Red Dwarf (Watched 3 episodes. Was not impressed.)
25. Futurama (It was ok, but it was no Simpsons.)
24. Twin Peaks (Watched it and liked it, tho the ending kinda blew.)
23. The Office (Nope)
22. The Shield (Nope)
21. Angel (Saw a few episodes. It was ok.)
20. Blackadder (Oh yes. First couple of series were the best)
19. Scrubs (Nope)
18. Arrested Development (nope)
17. South Park (Used to watch it every week. Very funny.)
16. Doctor Who (Watch when we get the Sci-Fi Channel. Watch DVDs of older episodes.)
15. Heroes (Have yet to miss an episode, but they are beginning to bore me.)
14. Firefly (I have now seen 4 episodes…and I still think it sucks.)
13. Battlestar Galactica (Have never seen it. Not really interested, but might try it on DVD)
12. Family Guy (Watch it once in a while. Pretty funny)
11. Seinfeld (Saw maybe 7 episodes. Was unimpressed.)
10. Spaced (Never heard of it.)
09. The X-Files (Watched every episode. When it was good, it rocked. When it was bad, you could hear flies buzzing.)
08. The Wire (Nope
07. Friends (Saw about a dozen episodes. It was ok, I guess.)
06. 24 (Have never watched it)
05. Lost (Watched all the first season and half of the second, then said fuck it.)
04. The West Wing (Nope)
03. The Sopranos (Saw maybe 6 episodes, but I liked them.
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Watched first 2 seasons, then slowly lost interest.)
01. The Simpsons (Don’t watch it like I used to, but it is still a very funny show. DOH!)