I’ve Got John Wayne Stances, I’ve Got Errol Flynn Advances

Title courtesy of “Teacher I Need You” from the Elton John album “Don’t Shoot Me, I’m Only The Piano Player”

I’ll start with this…

The Obligatory About Me Stuff

(This is expanded version of the About Me section of my website)

I Am…

Male
(which is good, cos I’d be one butt ugly woman)

50 years old
(I turned 50 in January. ’04)

A redhead
(tho the red is fast losing ground to the grey)

Fat
(not “big boned” or “husky” or “chubby” or any other fucking term that glosses over the truth)

Nearsighted
(Very nearsighted since age 7. And nowadays I need reading glasses, too)

A husband
(to Grace, my wife and Sweet Angel)

A stepfather
(to Louis, who is all grown up and living on his own)

A son
(to my mom. My dad died in 1984 and my stepdad died in 2003)

A brother & eldest child
(sister: Roseanna, brother: Kelly)

The Worlds Greatest Uncle
(to Zachary, Sarah, Christopher, Megan and Molly. They are all grown up now, ranging in age from 21 to 17. I feel so damned old)

A dog person
(My dog is a Bassett Hound/Beagle mix named Roscoe. He’s a fine old dog, even if he is stubborn, kinda stinky and snores when he sleeps)

A damned good cook
(I’ve been doing it since I was about 7 or 8 and I cooked professionally for several years, including my 4 years in the Navy)

A gardener
(Especially vegetables and California native plants)

A Navy veteran
(From 1972 to 1976, including nearly a year on the aircraft carrier Enterprise)

A gamer
(Roleplaying games, boardgames, a few card games, a few computer RPGs)

A Democrat
(And a mostly liberal one, at that. Kiss my ass, you slimy ultraconservative Republican dirtbags)

An Atheist
(Nothing else makes sense to me)

A psoriasis sufferer
(On the inside, I’m one healthy mofo, but On the outside, I must deal with traitorous skin.)

A dedicated tea drinker
(Starbucks and their yuppie coffee would be shit outta luck if they depended on my business. Yes, I know they haver tea, but I tried it and it sucks.)

A writer
(A few roleplaying adventures & supplements, some zines for ALARUMS & EXCURSIONS, several game reviews & articles for various RPG magazines and about 750,000 unfinished short stories & novels)

A beer drinker
(Guinness Stout is the Nectar of the Gods, baby!)

Allergic to cats
(I do NOT hate cats. Don’t have much use for them, but I don’t hate them.)

A big fan of the great pulp heroes
(Hey, I took my nickname from Doc Savage. Pity I can’t cloud men’s minds like the Shadow.)

A very funny fellow
(I only added this because so many of my friends and family have told me so)

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