Cooler Than A Polar Bear’s Buttocks

Yet another quiz that told me nothing new…

You scored as Chaotic Good. A Chaotic Good person is someone who has little intrinsic respect for laws or authority, seeing them as insufficient to sustain what’s right. These people work according to their own moral compass which, while good, is not necessarily always aligned with that of society. Despite their chaotic tendancies, these people are good at heart.

Chaotic Good


Neutral Good


Neutral Evil


Chaotic Evil


True Neutral


Lawful Evil


Lawful Good


Chaotic Neutral


Lawful Neutral


What is your Alignment?
created with

Acting Kinda Like A Kid, Only Not.

So, apparently I act less than half my age. Big surprise there.

You Are 18 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view – and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what’s to come… love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You’ve had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You’ve been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Subjective Writing Again

Welcome back! Chapter Three of my look back at LJ entry titles lies before you. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Take A Right At The Light, Then Straight On ‘Til Night (More lyrical theft, this time from “Blinded By The Light”)

And The Scene Changes (I must have been way mellowed out)

Mrs. Wangdoodle And Her Flying Cat (A children’s book title that popped into my head)

I’m Gonna Build Myself A House In The Shade Of The Freeway (Oh, so now we’re ripping off Jackson Brown’s “The Pretender”, eh?)

Ahoy, Maties, We’re Settin’ Sail Fer Mayhem And Fun! (Obviously I was feeling a bit piratical here)

Dwarf Hamsters In A Creamy Orange Sauce (You know, if people ate dwarf hamsters, this would probably be a very popular dish)

The Piano Has Been Drinking (Oh my god, he’s ripped off Tom Waits! You bastard!)

Skipping Merrily Along The Highway To Hell (An ex-girlfriend once accused her brother and I of doing this. She was right)

Let’s Do It (Musta been the first thing that popped into my head)

Worried About My Baby
Update On Grace
Hospitals Suck
Grace Is Home!!! (These were written when Grace had an unexpected stay in the hospital for possible heart problems. By the way, apparently, there is nothing wrong with her heart.)

Beer And Donuts On A Beach In Fiji (Damn, that sounds good, doesn’t it?)

8 Years Is Not Enough (Celebrating my 8th year of wedded bliss to my Sweet Little Pork Fried Rice Of Love)

On The Menu: Couscous For Dogs (I made Roscoe some couscous for his dinner)

I Dreamed That I Was Awake Thinking About Being Asleep (I was just being wacky here)

Not As Insane As I Used To Be, But Getting Better (Part of my annual “State of the Husband” address. Grace giggled)

Piled High With A Delicious Meatlike Substance (More ad copy for an alternate universe)

Speeding Down The Highway Of Life With The Stereo Blasting And The Top Down (A family tradition for Clan Cross)

The Future Adventures Of The Old Scalawag And His Sweet Angel (Possible title for a book about Grace and I)

Swing The Cat, Kick The Rat (Just wanted to do a bit of rhyming)

The Master Of Kitchen Fu (that would be me, grasshopper)

Naked Thoughts Posed Just The Way You Like Them (Sort of intellectual and naughty at the same time, don’t ya think?)

Feelin’ Like I Been Tenderized (Musta been a bad day)

Better Living Through Botanomancy (Ah, yet another leg infection)

Red Snails In The Sunset (A romantic song for garden mollusks)

The Green Eyed Goddess Of Rock & Roll (Aye, laddie, that were a hell of a weekend back in 1979)

Who Knows What Weasels Lurk? (Pulp taglines meet small mustelid carnivores)

Deathspider Action (I think this was a computer game moment)

Fried Oak Leaves And A Glass Of Rabbit Milk (I dunno…maybe pixies eat it)

And So This Is Christmas… (Courtesy of John Lennon)

Them Warthogs Sure Can Dance! (Well, they can on planet Disney)

Small Change Got Rained On By His Own .38 (More shameless usage of Tom Waits lyrics)

The Twelve Dog Days Of Christmas (Doc does an Xmas filksong)

Don’t Forget To Feed The Aardvarks! (They get surly if you don’t feed ’em)

Not Enough Sunshine…Or Dancing Elks! (I hate overcast, elkless days)

Ok…that’s that…done for this year.

More Subjective Writing

We continue our borderline thrilling look at my LJ entry titles for 2004

Roscoe T. Dogg And The Case Of The Tasty Hamburger (If my food obsessed old hound wrote mystery novels, this would be one of them)

Put The Blame On VTR (Another blatant musical ripoff, this time from “Video Killed The Radio Star”)

Powered By Love And Caffeine (On a good day, that’s what keeps Uncle Doc runnin’)

I Said I Wouldn’t Break Your Heart. I Never Said I Wouldn’t Steamroller It Flat. (What several women in my past should have told me)

An Armada Of Armadillos (It just sounded neat)

Porkfaced Morons From Neocon Central (Have I mentioned lately that I have a deep and abiding hatred of neocons?)

Yummy Fried Whale Fritters (Blame this one on watching Iron Chef while half tanked on Guinness)

He Rode Off Into The Sunset And Took The Sunset With Him (This one was vaguely inspired by my dad’s death back in 1984)

So Long, Brother Ray (Ray Charles died)

Frozen Lizards On A Stick (Too many drugs during my youth, I’m thinkin’)

The Funhouse Mirror Universe (This is my blanket title for all of my nutty fiction and gaming ideas)

Kitty Cats Steal A Sports Car (Roscoe wrote this one while I was away from the keyboard taking a leak)

Spending Quality Time In A Warehouse Full Of Other People’s Stuff (This was the answer to a question asked by a female friend back during my Wild & Misspent Youth)

Fear And Loathing In Middle Earth (LOTR as written by Hunter S. Thompson)

The Basset Hound Liberation Front (Mostly, they want to liberate comfy furniture and people food)

Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Jose Cuervo (I don’t care much for rum)

When Good Teddy Bears Go Bad (I have a purple with yellow polka dots teddy bear named Owsley. He wears sunglasses, has a pierced ear and wears an official “Over The Edge/Al Amarja” noose around his neck. One look at him and you know he’s a bad bear)

Is That A Real Poncho Or a Sears Poncho? (Yet more harvesting of Frank Zappa lyrics)

Doc’s Head Explodes! Film At 11:00! (Fuck if I know what prompted that one)

Attack Of The Killer Zucchinis (Note to beginning veggie gardeners: NEVER plant more that one zucchini plant unless you are one zucchini loving mofo)

It’s Zero Hour And We’re All Outta Booze (Line spoken by an old friend of mine back in 1970 just before several of us did something foolish, dangerous, ill timed and funny)

The Rare Lithuanian Sneezing Clam (Sometimes I invent mollusks, just for the fun of it)

She Was Sexy, But The Thing With The Squid Turned Me Off (What the hell?)

The Great And Powerful Turtle Live At Fillmore West (I was having a “Wild Cards” moment)

And So I Nicknamed Her “Squinky” (Referring to one of my many nicknames for Grace)

Yes The Nightshades Is The Right Shades (In which I bragged about my tomato crop)

We Have Dog Activity In Sector 52 (Written after Roscoe had awakened from a marathon napping session)

She Has A Light In Her Eyes That Explodes My Soul (That’s my baby!)

You Can’t Escape From The Spy Dogs (Roscoe wrote this late at night. He’s been drinking heavily and reminiscing about his time in Paris, during the war)

Doc and Grace On The Road: Part One (Friday, August 13th)
Doc and Grace On The Road: Part Two (Still Friday, August 13th)
Doc and Grace On The Road: Part Three (Yes, Still Friday, August 13th)
Doc and Grace On The Road: Part Four (Saturday, August 14th)
Doc and Grace On The Road: Update – 3 replies
Doc and Grace On The Road: Home at Last – 1 reply
(Reports from the road during our Semi-Sucky 2004 GenCon/Route 66 Vacation)

Life Sucketh!
WE HAVE POWER!!!!! (The Labor Day Tree Collapse Saga)

The Squirrels Are Watching Me (They really were…3 of the little bastards)

Rollin’ And Ramblin’ (Hmmmm…musta been listening to Delta Blues)

Puny Humans! Hulk Smash! (I was just feeling lazy, so I used a comic book line)

Crunchy Munchy Honey Bunchy (Ad copy for some cereal or my wife…not sure which)

Iron Chef: Dogfood Sandwich Battle (Watching Iron Chef and feeding the dog)

May The Forks Be with You (Hey kids, it’s fun to mess around with movie lines)

Slippery Answers To Dangerous Questions (This is what you get from politicians)

The Dancing Mice Go To Paris (Well now, just where the fuck else would dancing mice go?)

A Kiss From An Angel (Smooched by my honey just prior to blogging)

The Great 500 Mile Party Race Of 1982 (Taken from a true life event)

YOW!! Another long post! Once again, I’ll break off here and do more later.

Subjective Writing

Since I don’t have a full years worth of entries with which to do the “first sentence from each month” meme, here instead is a review of the titles of each of my entries from 2004. Hey, just be glad I didn’t review all the titles from my Blogger days:)

Here I Am! (First LJ entry)

My REAL weblog (Reference to my late great Blogger page)

OOPS! (What? A fuckup? From me?)

ORIGASMI: The Art Of Folding Paper Into Sex Toys (This just sounded like a fun way to combine arts & crafts with kinky sex)

Clams From Hell (I have no idea what prompted this one, but I have this thing about clams being funny, so…)

Barbecued Bad Boy (I got sunburned)

But Mama, That’s Where The Fun Is (Merrily ripped off from “Blinded by the light”)

Get Me A Tall Tree And Some Short Ropes (I was either watching a Western movie or looking out the window at the white trash motherfucker who lives next door)

The Old Dude And The Old Dog (Courtesy of Grace who was looking at Roscoe and I as we shared some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches)

Bringing A Hand Grenade To A Gunfight (Not sure what prompted this, but it’s not a bad idea)

10 Blue Budgies On A Three Day Drunk (This is just a prime example of the kinda shit that pops into my head 9,000 times a day)

I’ve Got John Wayne Stances, I’ve Got Errol Flynn Advances (from the Elton John song “Teacher I Need You”)

Forgive Me, Father, For I AM Sin (One of my mottos:)

Them’s Good Eatin’! (I’m pretty sure I was writing about food…or women)

More Reprints From The Blogger Page: The Sex Rant (This one is self explanatory. How odd)

Naked Ninja Cheerleaders From Hell (Sometimes I think up B movie titles…just to while away the hours on long winter nights)

Monkeys! We Like Monkeys! (If YOU don’t like monkeys…well then you are just plain scum)

Doc Tempest And The Sound Of Death
Doc Tempest And The Robot Master (Both of these titles are part of a long line of nonexistent pulp novels that some Doc Cross in another reality will/has written)

Woke Up Ready To Rock (Well, I did!)

Pistols And Jelly Donuts (This one is from a rather exciting and dangerous moment in my Wild & Misspent Youth, when I was REALLY needing some firepower and REALLY REALLY craving jelly doughnuts)

Outside In The Cold Distance, A Wild Cat Did Growl (From the Bob Dylan song “All along the watchtower”)

Attack Of The California Cows (I had no doubt just watched one of the very clever “California Cows” commercials)

Destined To Replace The Mudshark In Local Mythology (From “Nanook Rubs It” by the late great Frank Zappa)

Scary Monster Popcorn (The kind of popcorn you eat when you watch Scary Monster Movies. Courtesy of my nephew Chris when he was about 5 years old)

NARF! (Watched an episode of “Pinky and The Brain” before blogging)

Wake Up. Time To Die. (I had a “Bladerunner” moment)

A Little Bit Of Terror On A Hot Summer Night (from another incident in my Wild & Misspent Youth…but I can’t tell you about it or the albinos will eat me)

I Was So Much Older Then, I’m Younger Than That Now. (From the Dylan tune “My Back Pages”)

Free Range Celtic White Boy (Me)

The Finger Of Doom Picks The Nose Of Curiosity (Old Chinese Proverb…or at least it SHOULD be)

Gimme A Hot Woman And A Cold Beer (Another one of my mottos)

It Wasn’t Just The Hot Babes, It Was The Dancing Pig Too! (Sorry…can’t explain this one until after June 4th, 2032)

Robot Sex (I think a Discovery Channel show prompted this one…or I coulda been thinking of an ex-girlfriend)

Crazy Talk In The Wild Moonlight (I think I was drunk when I wrote this one)

Put De Lime In De Coconut (from the Harry Nillson song, obviously)

A Great Day For Coconut Snot (On this day, I ate coconut snot. Go read the blog entry)

Swabajukama (Some words just need to be invented)

Burned By The Rays Of A Sunny Disposition (Have you ever known someone who was just TOO fuckin’ cheerful all the time?)

Crouching Chicken, Hidden Wombat (Ok, so sometimes I screw around with movie titles. So sue me.)

Hot Sex And Cheese Quesadillas (Two great things that go great together!)

Slapped Hard By True Love (Sooner or later, it happens to all of us)

Ok, this entry is getting entirely two long. I’ll break it up and post the rest later.

The Cinnamon Scented Love Goddess Of Cody, Wyoming

It’s odds and ends time, my little chipmunks…

A big nastyass storm is moving down the West Coast and the rain she is falling. Up in the high country, the snow is expected to get up to 100 inches deeper. Here at Casa Cross, we shall stay inside where it is cozy and warm…except when we take Roscoe out for hopefully short walks and…

…when we go to the Home and Garden Show downtown at the convention center tomorrow. Since this is the year I will FINALLY finish the hardscaping of the garden (as well as more planting and replanting) in preparation to us selling the house in a couple of years, I reckoned we might learn a few things at the show.

DunDraCon is a bit over a month away and I’m looking forward to it. Got to start prepping character sheets for my 16th (?) annual TOON game. If any of y’all are gonna be at the con, drop by and say hello.

Ack! Time to head to work! More blogishness later.

Don’t Listen To Them…They Aren’t Even Real

Ok…I admit it…I’m a meme slut…

Bernard Pivot, on his famed French television shows “Apostrophe” and “Bouillon de Culture”, asked these questions of his guests. James Lipton, of “Inside the Actor’s Studio”, has made them famous in America. Now they’re a meme!

1. What is your favorite word?


2. What is your least favorite word?


3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually and/or emotionally?


4. What turns you off?

Religion and Politics

5. What is your favorite curse word?


6. What sound or noise do you love?

Kids laughing

7. What sound or noise do you hate?

The noise coimng out of the mouths of politicians

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?


9. What profession would you not like to do?

Assembly Line Work

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“HEY! You’re supposed to be in Hell….ha ha ha…nah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya…come on in, Doc.”