The Kitty Cats Hold Up a Liquor Store

...those rascally kitties! FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!!! I didn't mention it before now, lest I jinx the whole affair, but the halfwitted cunt who has managed the place I work at for the last 3 years is GONE!!! When the store transferred from corporate to franchise, she decided not to stay. Friday was her last day and you …

Ducks And Stuff On My Mind Again

...and I can't even explain the title until after things get published:) Today was Summer Curryfest 2005 here at the House of Cross. I (with the help of my able assistants Grace and Sharon) made about 14 quarts of Smoked Pork Curry. It was fuckin' delish, with the smoked pork (which I smoked this morning …

Don’t Pee On The Electric Fence

...the way you tricked those other kids into it:) 16 Year Old Meme Six things I would tell my sixteen year-old self: 1: Do NOT join the Navy after High School 2: Work like hell from now until you graduate. Use the money to travel around for a year or so. 3: Even if you …

Here Come The Screaming Wombats

...we're screwed now. Just got home from seeing "Batman Begins" and lat me say...IT ROCKS!!! Oh fuck yes! This movie is not only the best Batman movie by far, it's one of the best superhero movies ever. If you haven't seen it, do. BTW, I had Ducard figured out very early on:) And now to …

Making Love In The Treehouse Of Doom

...it's a long story:) DOC UPDATE #444 1: My nephew Christopher is home and no longer a part of the U.S. Army. This is a very good thing. He's spending some time relaxing at his parent's house, then will go look for a job. He told my that I was right, that he should have …

Paradox Lost

:) So, recently California has had a few reasonably strong earthquakes and now the various media are wondering what it all means. They also keep saying "Californians are concerned about this new flurry of quakes". Ok, I'm gonna clue everyone in on something: First, these recent quakes don't mean shit because California has HUNDREDS of …

There Was An Old Hermit Named Dave…

Nope, I'm not gonna finish it:) Just in case anyone wants to know more about ALARUMS & EXCURSIONS, here is the straight dope from Lee Gold... ALARUMS AND EXCURSIONS A&E is a photocopied monthly roleplaying game APA (amateur press association) with contributors from across the US, UK, and Canada plus occasional contributors from Australia, Japan, …

The Parrot Gang Is On The Loose!

...and they're armed and dangerous It was just pointed out to me that the 30th anniversary issue of ALARUMS & EXCURSIONS will be happening in a month or so. If you are an old contributor who has strayed from the path (Nicole, Chris, Robin, Bruce, Me), you might want to dash off a short zine …

War Of The Squirrels

...coming soon to a theater near you:) The Garden Giveth And The Doctor Taketh Away Dinner tonight at Chez Cross consisted of zucchini, green beans, tomatoes & mushrooms sauteed with basil, oregano and garlic. This was served alongside angel hair pasta with an alfredo sauce that had been kicked up a notch with ham. It …

The Karmic Wheel Is Parked On My Foot

...or maybe my abdomen. I'm feeling seriously mean and sick just now. Sick in that my stomach has been filled with a burning pain all day...after a couple of weeks of just feeling mild nausea most of my waking hours (which I still do). Feeling mean because I haven't been able to work on my …