The Horticultural Whore Spreads It Around

…compost, that is

I headed up to my mom’s house this morning. After a couple of hours of visiting, Mom gave me a bunch of plants from her garden. When I got home I went out and planted some of them and did a bunch of other gardening, including…

transplanting some Irises (not the proper time of year for that, but it had to be done) and some Sweet Woodruff

whacked a bigass bunch of weeds that were attempting to take over Garden Plot A47 (I was getting tired of calling them Garden Plot 1, 2, 3, etc)

spread compost hither and yon

poured several gallons of compost/manure tea on various plants

moved most of my seedlings outside

did some pruning

put Geranium cuttings in water so they’ll form roots

tossed pieces of sedum all over, so as to promote a nice groundcover

and then I rested:)

Meme Time
(goinked from elissa-carey)

Copy and paste everything below into your blog and “BOLD” the things that you have NEVER done. Leave the things that you actually HAVE done unbolded.

(NOTE: as is often my wont, I’ve annotated some of these)

I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex

I’ve Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex (hey, when you owe a guy a HUGE favor and all he asks for is a kiss…well, I mean what the hell. I’m just glad he didn’t have facial hair:)

I’ve Never Crashed A Friend’s Car (only did this once. Not a bad crash, but the cheapass car was totalled)

I’ve Never Been To Japan (but I’d like to go someday)

I’ve Never Been In A Taxi (actually, I’ve had sex in a taxi, too, but they didn’t include that one)

I’ve Never Been In Love

I’ve Never Had Sex In Public (too many times to count, including once at a
Jethro Tull concert at the Cow Palace in San Francisco)

I’ve Never Been Dumped (obviously by women who lacked good taste in men)

I’ve Never Done Cocaine

I’ve Never Shoplifted (only a couple of times…who steals small shit, anyway?)

I’ve Never Been Fired

I’ve Never Been In A Fist Fight

I’ve Never Had Group Intercourse (damn, I miss the 70’s)

I’ve Never Snuck Out Of My Parent’s House

I’ve Never Been Tied Up (yeah, a couple of times…you know, to see how the other half lives:)

I’ve Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone (my first wife would top this list)

I’ve Never Been Arrested (every time was a fair cop…tho it was always something related to either drunkeness or teenage stupidity)

I’ve Never Made Out With A Stranger (see the above comment about the Jethro Tull concert…as one example)

I’ve Never Stolen Something From My Job
I’ve Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square

I’ve Never Gone On A Blind Date (I have been on exactly two blind dates and they both went pretty well)

I’ve Never Lied To A Friend (I wish this weren’t so, but most folks need their delicate sensibilities protected)

I’ve Never Had A Crush On A Teacher

I’ve Never Celebrated Mardi Gras In New Orleans

I’ve Never Been To Europe

I’ve Never Skipped School (I skipped school maybe 6 times in 4 years of high school)

I’ve Never Slept With A Co-Worker (and a boss…and a customer)

I’ve Never Cut Myself On Purpose (didn’t want to, but I had to do some self surgery)

I’ve Never Had Sex At The Office (not an MY office, since I’ve never worked in one, but at other people’s offices)

I’ve Never Been Married

I’ve Never Been Divorced

I’ve Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week (same week? hell, I’ve had sex with more than one person in the same HOUR:)

I’ve Never Posed Nude (the photos are most likely lost forever)

I’ve Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them (which is not to say I’ve never fucked a person who got drunk on their own)

I’ve Never Killed Anyone (yet)

I’ve Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner (not from my PRESENT sex partner, anyway)

I’ve Never Thrown Up In A Bar

I’ve Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire (who the fuck would do this?)

I’ve Never Eaten Sushi

I’ve Never Been Snowboarding (see, the active word here is SNOW. YECCCH!)

I’ve Never Had Sex At A Friend’s House While They Were Throwing A Party (and I’ve done it with the friend throwing the party)

I’ve Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room (Macy’s on the K Street Mall in downtown Sacramento…1977)

I’ve Never Flashed Anyone (only friends…and I’m including mooning)

I’ve Never Met Anyone From Online (Number One Person I Met Online: My Sweet Angel, Grace)

I’ve Never Smoked A Cigarette (never even been tempted)

I’ve Never Stolen A Car (hey, I had a good reason each time)

I’ve Never Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn’t Have Them Back

I’ve Never Seen Someone Die (and I hope I never again have to see someone I care about die. now, somebody I HATE, that would be a different story)

I’ve Never Been To Canada

I’ve Never Been To Mexico

I’ve Never Been On A Plane (see reference to Taxi near top of this list)

I’ve Never Taken Pain Killers

I’ve Never Laid On My Back And Watched The Clouds Go By

I’ve Never Made A Snow Angel (when I was very young and still thought snow was fun)

I’ve Never Rode A Mechanical Bull (I think I stayed on for 3 seconds)

I’ve Never Rode A Motorcycle

I’ve Never Had A Tea Party (I’ve BEEN to a couple)

I’ve Never Flown A Kite (oh yeah, baby, have I flown a fuckin’ kite:)

I’ve Never Built A Sand Castle

I’ve Never Gone Puddle Jumping

I’ve Never Played Dress Up

I’ve Never Cheated While Playing A Game (never for FUN…only for direct monetary gain…and never with friends)

I’ve Never Been Lonely

I’ve Never Used A Fake ID (and exactly how can you be somebody else without a fake ID?)

I’ve Never Watched A Sunset With Some I Care About

I’ve Never Felt An Earthquake

I’ve Never Touched A Snake

I’ve Never Slept Beneath The Stars

I’ve Never Been Tickled (note: I hate being tickled and will punch any tickler right in the face)

I’ve Never Been Robbed (only once, when a place I worked at got robbed by an ex employee. He had a shotgun. 3 years later, when he got outta the joint, I found him and kicked his ass. I don’t like having guns pointed at me)

I’ve Never Been Misunderstood (I’m not sure I’ve ever been UNDERSTOOD:)

I’ve Never Won A Contest (actually, I’ve wone 6 or 7 in my lifetime)

I’ve Never Ran A Red Light

I’ve Never Been Suspended From School (exactly once, for 1 day, in 7th grade, for “willfully disrupting class)

I’ve Never Been In A Car Accident (I’ve been in about a dozen over the years)

I’ve Never Had Braces

I’ve Never Eaten A Whole Pint Of Ice Cream In One Night (Hahahaha! that’s the only way I eat my Ben & Jerry’s)

I’ve Never Had DeJa Vu

I’ve Never Danced In The Moonlight (and I did it to Van Morrison’s “Moondance”, too.)

I’ve Never Liked The Way I Look (I look ok. Goofy, but ok)

I’ve Never Witnessed A Crime (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

I’ve Never Questioned My Heart (only a few times)

I’ve Never Been Obsessed With Post-It Notes (what the fuck?)

I’ve Never Squished Barefoot Thru The Mud

I’ve Never Been Lost (not often)

I’ve Never Swam In The Ocean

I’ve Never Felt Like Dying

I’ve Never Cried Myself To Sleep (broken hearts suck)

I’ve Never Played Cops and Robbers and Post Office (Actually, we most often played Army or Cowboys & Injuns)

I’ve Never Colored With Crayons

I’ve Never Paid For A Meal With Only Coins (it wasn’t an expensive meal)

I’ve Never Done Something That I Told Myself I Wouldn’t Do (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

I’ve Never Laughed Until A Beverage Came Out of My Nose (more times than I can count, with a wide array of beverages)

I’ve Never Been Told By A Complete Stranger That I’m HOT (see reference to Jethro Tull concert)

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