Sweet Hot Robomonkey Love

…with sprinkles

WAR: They Came, They Saw, They Whipped Some Roman Ass

Oh, my brothers & sisters, such a war was fought today! Oceans of blood were shed…magicks both dark and bright were tossed about…monsters ravaged the land…the dead rose up and fought…and the forces of good did yet prevail!

The War against the Neo-Romans was fought today on my dining room table. My friend Arn, one of the players in my Kingdom Building Game, set forth his armies in a massive sneak attack on the Romans. This was a pre-emptive strike to stop a planned Roman invasion of some of Arn’s NPC allies.

Planning for this sneak attack has been going on for 4 years of game time. Arn’s people, the Varralonese, teamed up with a race of Dwarves and a race of forest dwelling folk. The assault involved several factors, including…

Having the Dwarves tunnel deep into Roman territory, so the Allied forces could pop up at or near a variety of places, mostly at the outer perimeter of watchtowers.

Developing all manner of magical or magic/tech weapons, including flamethrowers, rock to mud + fireball bazookas, magical armor & weapons, communications crystals, illusion devices and self propelled/rapid fire catapults and ballista.

A 2 year long program to work a kingdom of Minotaurs (who lived, unknown to the Romans, about 100 miles to the north of them) into a paranoid killing frenzy. This was accomplished by using troops dressed as Romans who were seen “spying” and “plotting” by the Minotaurs. When the attack came, 25,000 highly pissed off Minotaurs swept into Rome from the north.

Training a special forces unit that functioned much like the Marine Corps Rangers and the Navy SEALS.

Inciting a big flock of Pterasaur-like creatures to attack a couple of Roman towns on the morning of the attack.

…and other tricks and stuff.

The Romans, despite having 30,000 infantry and 15,000 cavalry (all VERY well trained) never had a chance. The sneak attack (especially the “wave after wave of berserk Minotaurs”), caught the Romans with their togas down. They put up a helluva fight…and in the end they nuked their own capital city (after sending out several thousand women and children) with a humongous fireball (which took out about 20,000 Minotaurs, too).

Arn’s forces freed many thousands of Roman slaves and gave them the lands of their former masters. And then I let a big GM time bomb drop…

Ok, guys, here’s the deal: when I first began this game, I decided that it would be run in several parts, with the first being the actual Kingdom Building part. Further, I decided that the Kingdom Building part would end after the first major war. In fact, it would end 2 years after the war ends.

And so the war has ended. You’ll get 2 more turns to put your kingdoms on their paths for the future, then we close the books on this part of the game.

BUT, the game isn’t over! After about 6 weeks of planning time, I’ll restart the game at a point from 100 to 300 years in the future. I’ll roll on charts and do some GM jiggery pokery (and buy Campaign Cartographer 3 so I can make VERY spiffy maps) to decide what took place in the world during the elapsed time. Then, you’ll start playing again…

…but you won’t be running a kingdom! You’ll actually be playing 2 games in one, because you’ll be running a village AND that village’s “official adventuring team”. So, you’ll be guiding a village to, one could assume, eventual cityhood AND you’ll be running an adventuring party that travels the land on errands assigned by you, the village leader. Pretty cool, eh?

Now this second phase of the game has a built in lifespan, too, but it is much longer than a few years. I think you’ll have fun. I may even try to get a couple more players involved.

Anyway, we’ll do the last 2 turns and then take about 6 weeks (or until the first week in July) off. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

3 comments on “Sweet Hot Robomonkey Love

  1. unclelumpy says:

    Will you be contacting each of us regarding our final 2 turns?

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