Iron Chef: Battle Mountain Oysters

…to compete in this one, you’ve gotta have balls

We misses Our Precious, we does! This nasty old desktop hurts us, it does! It slows us down and makes us stay in the same room all the time! And we must SHARE it with Grace! Bwaaaa!

The Doclopedia

About this character:  This pirate, tho technologically much more advanced than the last one, is also more bloodthirsty…and uglier.

#23: Captain Korgar 

Main Trait: Klingon
Second Trait: Starfaring Pirate
Third Trait: Two Weapon Fighting (axes)

Flaws: No Klingon sense of honor/duty, Greedy

Several generations ago, a colony of Klingons lost contact with/were abandoned by the homeworld. Since this colony was stocked mostly with malcontents and the (according to the Klingon viewpoint) mentally ill, it didn’t take long for the old ways to be forgotten and a new, more survival oriented society to emerge.

Captain Korgar was able to get hold of a starship when a group of Ferengi traders made the mistake of stopping by. After “persuading” the Ferengi to teach him and his friends how to operate the ship, he slaughtered half of them. This caused the remaining Ferengi to see the light and swear allegiance to Korgar. Soon, the “Razor Claw” and her crew were the terror of the spacelanes.

Captain Korgar stands 6’9″ tall, dresses in black leather with red accents, has many scars all over his body and carries two very sharp axes as weapons.

In his spare time, Korgar enjoys drinking, carousing, amassing wealth and feeding bits of his enemies to his pet geeloth (a big two headed furry snake).


Bucky & Squint Learn To Fly

…it would be so much easier with an airplane

Well, the laptop is in the shop and will be out next week. Curse you, stupid 3 day weekend!

And now, we be ready to sail into adventure…Yarr!

The Doclopedia

About this character:  He’s as salty an old seadog as ever was, matey, and a darned fine pirate, too.

#22: Captain Patrick “Bloody Pat” Kelly 

Main Trait: Pirate Captain
Second Trait: Swordsman
Third Trait: Ladies Man

Flaws: Hot Temper, Hard Drinker, Pitiless To Enemies

Captain Kelly is about 35 years old, pretty good looking and a ruthless foe of all authority. He has death sentences on him by many countries and is quite proud of that fact. He hates the French and Spanish, but as a good Irishman, he reserves most of his hate for England. He has a rather soft spot for the American colonies tho. In fact, he often says he might retire there one day.

His ship, the Nightmare, is crewed by as tough a bunch of sailors as was ever made. They are loyal to the Captain, but also take great pains not to piss him off. Once a year, the Captain has a huge party for “his lads” during which the food, rum and women are plentiful.

In his spare time, Bloody Pat likes to nurse hangovers, curse in up to 7 languages and try to remember how many children he has fathered.

Horrible Cheese Creatures

…here brie monsters

Ouch! That one even made me wince:)

Some quick updates…

I’m still using the desktop and it looks like my trusty laptop will be going into the shop tonight. The hardware part of the problem (broken screen hinge) may or may not be easy to fix. The software problem (which was explained to me, but flew clear over my non-techie head) may well result in the loss of a whole bunch of data. This will suck hugely if the data lost includes pictures and other unreplaceable stuff.

To my World Building Game players: Due to the above computer woes, as well as other extenuating circumstances, I’m closing down the game. Sorry guys, but at least we weren’t too far into it. There may still be a use for your colonies…in another project…so keep watching this space.

No big Labor Day weekend plans for Grace and I. I might clean out the garage, which could well use up the whole 3 day weekend:) 

Tonight, I’ll start Week 4 of my 365 Days, 365 Characters. The theme? Pirates and Other Scoundrels!

Gotta go…work must be done.

The Thieving Fog Nymph

…and other stories of combined naughtiness

The Doclopedia

About this character:  We’ll close out Pulp Women Week with a 21st Century woman who really got too far into her work.


#21: Professor Jeanmarie Boudin

Stats (using a d10)
Physical: 9
Mental: 8
Psychic: 0
Magical: 0

Skills:   Brawling (2d8), Climb (3d12), Security Systems (3d10), Netrunning (3d12), Self Healing (2d20)

Jeanmarie was already a Nobel Prize winning cyberneticist when, in 2031, Tempest Industries hired her to head up their Human/Robot Direct Inteface project. Besides being bored with her previous job, she was recently divorced and an empty nester, so she had plenty of time and energy to devote to a project that would link a human mind with a robotic body. She soon set to work on the problem.

After 2 years of hard work, Jeanmarie and her team had built a suit that would allow a human to seamlessly “inhabit” the body of a robot. She decided to do the demonstration herself and things went smoothly…for 20 minutes. You see, none of the previous tests had ever lasted longer than that. As she noted later, it was a hell of a thing to learn that at the 21 minute mark, your human body would just stop working, keel over dead and your consciousness would be trapped in a robot.

In her case, the robot was a 4 armed humanoid shaped EX90…a bot created for exploration in areas too dangerous or remote for humans. After some initial shock (and a few weeks of therapy), Jeanmarie accepted her fate and decided to make the best of it. Before long, she was accompanying Doc Tempest and his crew (including the recently revived Sally Smithfield) on adventures throughout the solar system and cyberspace.

Oh, she did eventually solve the “20 minute problem”, for which she won her second Nobel Prize.

Professor Boudin stands 6’6″ tall, weighs 422 pounds, has no hair, has 5 assorted eyes, copper and silver “skin”, two legs with grasping feet like a parrot and 4 tentacular arms with 6 fingers on each arm.

In her spare time, Jeanmarie enjoys reading cybernetics journals, playing four games of chess at once, trying to improve her sensor pack and exploring the Net for lost cyberworlds.

Dogpunk Stories

…hip and edgy new wave canine sci-fi


The laptop is still fucked up…Grace will try to bitchslap the software into submission after dinner.

To my World Building Game players: this no laptop deal might put things on hold for awhile.

2008: Go to GenCon or go to Burning Man? It may well take two years to decide.

Making more tomato sauce tonight. Might spice this batch up a bit more than usual.

5 weeks until Hawaii!

The Doclopedia

About this character:  Not all pulp adventures feature citizens of the United States or Great Britain. Here’s a masked crimefighter that knows what evil lurks in the hearts of south of the border.

#20: La Bruja Blanca (The White Witch)

Stats (using a d10)
Physical: 8
Mental: 8
Psychic: 6
Magical: 9

Skills:   Martial Arts (2d10), Pistol (2d10), Acrobatics (3d6), Intimidation (2d12)

Veronica Robles has two big secrets in her life: she is the masked crimefighter known as the White Witch and she really is a witch. Or a mutant…she’s not sure yet. What she is sure of is that her powers and training make her the scourge of criminals from Tijuana to Buenos Aires. And that makes her very happy.

Like another masked crimefighter from up norte, Veronica has many agentsworking for her. They are located all over Central and South America. All of them funnel bits of information to a central clearinghouse, where the info is pieced together to give La Bruja Blanca a darned good idea what is going on in the criminal world.

Between the fact that she stops/solves crimes and the fact that having a woman kick their asses screws with the criminals machismo AND the fact that her magic scares the poor superstitious suckers halfway out of their minds, the White Witch has had a dramatic effect on crime wherever she appears. In some areas, crime is down by as much as 50%. Of course, she does have some grande contracts out on her, but good luck trying to kill her.

Veronica is 5’9″ tall, weighs 150 pounds, has black hair and brown eyes and a very nice build. As La Bruja Blanca, she wears a white suit, white cape, white shoes, a white wig, a white hat and a white mask that reveals only her blood red lips. Her voice (as LBB) has an eerie echo to it.

In her spare time, Veronica enjoys travelling, painting landscapes, riding horses and listening to radio dramas.

Searching For A Midnight Princess

…with a heart of gold

Well, it appears that the laptop has had a nervous breakdown…or maybe a heart attack…but whatever, it ain’t booting up. Dr. Grace will give it a full examination and then decide if she can fix it or if it needs to go to a specialist. If it goes to the specialist (and it needs to, due to a busted hinge on the screen/lid, I might just have the vid card upgraded, too. We shall see.

The Doclopedia

About this character:  Every pulp milieu needs a lost world (or two) and today we have a young woman from one such place on CyberPulp Earth.

#19: Ualla of the Tiger Tribe

Stats (using a d10)
Physical: 7
Mental: 7
Psychic: 5
Magical: 2

Skills:   Survival (3d8), Knife (2d10), Spear (2d8), Tracking (2d6), Climb (2d6), Swim (2d6)

Ualla is a warrior of the Tiger Tribe, which in turn is part of the Two Mountains Clan. Ualla is a firce warrior, a skilled hunter and a very good tracker. Altho she is of an age where she should be choosing a mate, she does not seem interested in any of her tribes young men. This is because Ualla has met the Outsiders, people from a far off place beyond the great barrier walls, and she is intrigued by one of their young men.

So far, Ualla has only watched the outsiders from hidden places, but she wants to do more. She has been thinking of approaching them with a peace offering. Besides, they are travelling in the direction of the Crocodile People’s village and need to be warned that that is not good.

Ualla is tall (for her people), standing 5’5″. She weighs 106 ponds and has long black hair and black eyes. Her skin is medium brown and she has many tribal scars and piercings. She typically wears a two piece outfit made of rabbit skin.

In her spare time, Ualla enjoys hunting the giant thagdar, climbing trees to gather dindi eggs and teaching young girls how to knife fight.

The Silence Of The Basset Hounds

…you may give me a tummy rub, Clarice

The Doclopedia

About this character:  This young lady is the premiere gadgeteer in my CyberPulp Dociverse, but I didn’t create her. That honor belongs to my good friend, Avis.


#18: Sally Smithfield

Stats (using a d10)
Physical: 6
Mental: 9
Psychic: 1
Magical: 6

Skills:   Weird Science (3d12), Electronics (2d10), Chemistry (3d6), Mechanics (3d6), Hand To Hand Combat (2d8), Pistol (2d8), Rifle (3d6), Driving (2d8), Pilot (2d8)

In the year 1932, Sally is 28 years old. She is tall (5’10”), has shoulder length sandy blonde hair, blue eyes and a slim athletic build, which comes from both her years of ballet training and her practicing of martial arts. Sally can be a bit absent minded at times, mostly because she tends to always be mentally working on her next adventure. For the most part, Sally is a terrible cook, but an excellent baker, with cookies being her specialty.

Sally was born to parents who were scientists, so her love of science is a natural thing. She has an older brother who is also a scientist. However, two things distinguish Sally from the rest of her family. First, she has that perfect 50/50 blend of magical and technological aptitude that results in a person being either a Weird Scientist (which she is) or a Technomancer (such as her archenemy, Wizard X). Secondly, Sally is a Type 2 Human, the next evolutionary step up from homo sapiens. This makes her just a bit stronger, faster. tougher and smarter than normal humans. Well, ok, she’s a lot smarter than the average human.

Besides working in her families lab (The Smithfield Scientific Company), Sally is also a member of Doc Tempest’s band of adventuring crimefighters. She is not only the groups gadgeteer, but their second best pilot after Doc himself.

Sally has a big secret: she is a lesbian. Presently, she has not quite accepted this fact, mostly because there are at least a couple of men she finds sexually attractive. Soon, however, Sally will meet the woman who sweeps her off her feet. Sadly, in 1940, there will be a tragic event that will cause Sally (with Doc’s help) to decide to go into cryogenic suspension for what should have been 20 years, but turns out to be 90 years. When she is revived, Sally joins up with Doc’s great grandson and continues her gadgeteering/adventuring career in the 21st Century.

In her spare time, Sally enjoys driving in her amazing car (named Betsy), ballet dancing, building kinetic sculptures and (in the 21st Century) playing online RPGs.

The $15,000.00 Manure Pile Treasure

…because nobody would think to look there.

The Doclopedia

About this character:  A geeky female scientist today…but that doesn’t mean she’s not dangerous


#17: Theodora Pogg

Stats (using a d10)
Physical: 5
Mental: 8
Psychic: 6
Magical: 0

Skills:  Biochemistry (2d8)  Botany (2d8)  Zoology (2d8)  Weird Science (3d8)

Theodora (“Dora” to her very few friends) is a Weird Scientist whose specialty is creating chemical weapons based upon plant and animal extracts, glandular secretions, etc. Most of the time, she creates poisons that stun, blind, or paralyze the target. She tends to shy away from making lethal compounds, altho she is certainly capable of it.  She usually sells her weapons to the highest bidder.

Recently, Dora has been working on a serum that will mix the DNA of plants and animals. She has succeeded, but doesn’t realize it because her personality has split and “Teddy”, her dark side, is keeping it a secret from her. Teddy has plans for world conquest using her “plantanimals”. Dora would be horrified by this, since it will involve a whole lot of killing.

Theodora is 40 years old, 6 feet tall, rather skinny and plain featured with mousy brown hair. She habitually wears drab pants and blouses under her lab coat.

In her spare time, Dora enjoys music, reading adventure stories and working in her greenhouse. In her spare time, Teddy enjoys plotting the conquest of the world, hiring minions and investigating the cost of cosmetic surgery.

A Dog Riding A Hog Through A Bog

…in the fog

I haven’t done this in awhile, so…

I Am…

52 years old
Long haired
Married (almost 10 years, to my Sweet Angel, Grace)
Straight, sexually speaking
An eyeglasses wearer
Pretty darned funny, by all accounts
A native Californian
An eldest child
A son (to my mom)
A brother (to my brother and sister)
A brother in law
An uncle
A stepfather (to Louis, who is all grown up now)
An ex-husband
A “dog person”
A tea drinker
A veteran of the U.S. Navy
An “infuriating mix of Liberal and Conservative”, but…
Not affiliated with any political party
A chocoholic
A beer drinker…with the odd foray into good scotch, tequila or bourbon
A roleplaying gamer
A writer, mostly of RPG related stuff
Of Irish, Scottish, Portugese and Native American ancestry
A redhead…except for the gray bits
A pretty damned good cook.
A Doc Savage fan
An avid gardener
A character in a roleplaying game (Over The Edge)
A character on a collectible card game (On The Edge)
An opponent of organized religion and organized politics
A big fan of women in all of their delightfully varied forms
Not an addiction prone type of personality
An Alton Brown fan
A storyteller
An animal lover and amateur naturalist
Sometimes Bad, sometimes Good, but never Evil or Saintly
Known to say pretty much whatever pops into my mind, regardless of the situation
A human being

The Doclopedia

About this character:  Today, our Pulp Era Woman is the power behind a criminal throne.

#16: Eva LaSalle

Stats (using a d10)
Physical: 5
Mental: 7
Psychic: 0
Magical: 6

Skills:  Seduction (2d8)  Witch (2d8) Animal Control, Cats (2d6)  Connections, Criminal Organization (2d6)

Eva Mills was the fifth of seven children born to Jefferson and Vandy Mills, dirt poor sharecroppers in southern Mississippi. Eva hated her life on the farm and ran away from home at age 12. After several weeks on the road, during which she suffered many abuses and injuries, she met up with Mama Lily. Mama Lily was an old black woman who lived deep in the woods. Folks said she was a witch…and folks was right! She took Eva in and trained her in the ways of magic. Living in Mama Lily’s little shack in the woods wasn’t much better than living on her parent’s farm, but Eva did like her lessons. It didn’t take long for her to figure out that she could use magic to move up in life someday.

That day came just after Eva’s 18th birthday, when she said goodbye to Mama Lily and headed off to the big city. Now grown into a beautiful and smart woman, Eva started putting her plan to work. First, she met and seduced Gordon LaSalle, an up and coming young criminal in the negro underworld of St. Louis. She ensured Gordon’s undying love with regular doses of a love potion, while removing his enemies with either spells or an army of alley cats lead by her own familiar, Midnight. Eventually, Gordon became the undisputed king of crime in St. Louis. Eva let’s him run his businesses (both criminal and legal) with some guidance from her, but she also has also enslaved several of his underlings to run a few secret operations of her own.

Lately, Eva has grown bored with St. Louis and has cast her eye towards New York in general and Harlem in particular. She has begun working on Gordon to make the move.

In her spare time, Eva enjoys jazz, champagne, the movies and being wealthy & powerful.

Three Cute Chicks And A Fat Guy In Drag

…Halloween, 1978

World Building Game News

1: smalley_smoot, if you have recovered from your illness, I need your turn.

2:  All of you will get a GM’s reply to your turns (telling you how things went, plus any other info about what happened in/around your village) and then a Royal Reply to your actual turn letter.

3: I’ll be shortening the time from when you get your Royal reply to when I want your next turn letter from 3 weeks to 2 weeks. I have no doubt that this will be plenty of time.

That is all.

The Doclopedia

About this character:  This week, our theme is Pulp Era Women and our first tough skirt is a high flying two fisted adventurer.

#15: Daisy O’Donnell

Stats (using a d10)
Physical: 7
Mental: 7
Psychic: 2
Magical: 0

Skills:  Aviator (2d8)  Aviation Mechanic (3d4)  Brawling (2d6)  Intimidation (2d4)  Pistol (2d6)  Language, Spanish (2d6)  Language, French (2d4)

Daisy’s dad, Will O’Donnell, was a WWI flying ace and he taught his only child everything he knows about flying airplanes. Nowadays (1933), the two of them (with help from Daisy’s mom, Erin, and her mechanic uncle, Sean) run “Lucky Ace Aviation” out of Austin, Texas. Daisy takes jobs flying passengers and freight anywhere in the world. She has also been known to hire herself out for more “interesting” jobs…jobs where the risks are as high as the potential rewards. When she takes these side jobs, she is usually accompanied by her co-pilot/boyfriend Charlie “Cowboy” Haggard and her best friend/mechanic Deb Dugan.

In her spare time, Patsy likes drinking, dancing, shooting the breeze with other pilots and “turning Charlie every which way but loose”

Making Crazy Salad

…with stuff flavored dressing

Boringly slow day at work…very tasty dinner…Grace off to her class…picked tomatoes…drinking last beer (Two Palms Brewing Company’s “Oasis Amber Ale”) from the fridge…good episode of “Eureka“… time for another character…

The Doclopedia

About this character:  Here’s the last OTE character of the week. I might do another OTE week sometime, or I might mutate the rules for some other week. Anyway, Lucy is a converted character from another part of the Dociverse.

#14: Lucy Skye Diamond

Trippy Hippie Psychic Healer

Female Irish American, 24 years old, long red hair, multicolored kaleidoscopic eyes eyes, 5’2″ tall, 90 pounds, petite build, usually wears tye dyed clothes.

Lucy is one of the most well known mutants in the San Francisco Edge. From her apartment near the corner of Haight and Ashbury, she runs a “psychic healing” business. The name is deceptive, however, since she does not heal physical problems, but emotional ones. Lucy’s mutant power is to see a person’s problems and emotional baggage as holographic images. She is able to interact with these holograms, some of whom can be a bit quarrelsome, and then fix her subjects problems. Of course, new emotional problems do arise, so Lucy gets alot of repeat customers.

Lucy has been known to work with the police department on a few cases.  This often involves calming crime victims or witnesses down so that they can better give information. Sometimes it involves helping a cop get his head straight when things get rough.

In her spare time, Lucy enjoys rock concerts, organic foods, musicians (especially bass players) and controlled substances.


Psychic Vision  (4 dice) She can see what’s bugging you…  (Kaleidoscope eyes)

Psychic Manipulation (3 dice) …and then kick it’s ass (Often manipulates things others can’t see)


Weirdness Magnet (2 dice) A side effect of Lucy’s powers makes her a beacon for mutants, supernatural creatures, aliens…anyone who is very strange (has extremely odd friends)

The Wacky Fish Sandwich Lady

…of Dundalk, MD

Not much new to report from the House of Cross today. Work was…work. Funny how that often turns out that way. Dinner was convened at Hometown Buffet where I ate way too many shrimp. Soon, the sleeping time will arrive.

I’ll send out some spiffy info to my World Building Game players in a couple of days, then turn replies in a week or so.

Some time this week, Grace and I need to go shopping for new backpacks for our Hawaii trip. There are a few other items we’ll need (like a 1 or 2 gig Compact Flash card for the digvidcam), so we may end up doing more shopping than we expect.

Grace starts a new semester at American River College tomorrow. This time, she’s taking another accounting class.

The Doclopedia

About this character:  As OTE Week draws to a close (tomorrow), here’s a character I found in a pile of adventure notes from way back when Over The Edge was shiny and new. The character was created by one of the players in my first OTE series.

#13: David Yan

Kung Fu Fighter

Male Asian American, 25 years old, 6′ tall, 190 pounds, black hair, green eyes, excellent build, several small scars all over his body, dragon tattoo on his chest, eagle tattoo on his back.

David Yan is the latest in a long line of martial arts masters. His family uses their talents to fight evil wherever they find it. David has come to Al Amarja in search of his old enemy, “The Tiger”. When he finds him, he means to kill him.

Being a good  looking young man, David seldom lacks for feminine companionship. If he needs money, he will work as anything from a bodyguard to a bouncer to a prize fighter.

In his spare time, David enjoys working out, meditating, eating Italian food and reading,


Master of Kung Fu  (4 dice) If he needs to, David can seriously kick ass using his bosy as a weapon.  (Very buff with catlike grace)

Intense Mental Discipline (3 dice) His mental training allows him to ignore pain & distractions and concentrate on whatever he needs to. (Often comes off as very intense)


Women (2 dice) Dave’s big weakness is the fair sex. Many a woman has used him for something, then walked away. (Often dates “bad” girls)

Meandering Neanderthals

…watch out for those mammoths.

The Doclopedia

About this character:  I’m thinking this may be the oddest OTE character I’ve ever created…and that’s saying something.

#12: The Crime Master

Criminal Mastermind

Part one is a cybernetically and genetically enhanced octopus, weighing about 60 pounds. Part two is a 33 year old brunette female geneticist, weighing about 175 pounds and standing 5’10” tall. Together, they are a mysterious and deadly criminal.

In the mid-nineties, in a top secret U.S. government lab, a project went horribly awry. The exact details are forever lost and only two creatures survived: a woman and a mutant octopus, both quite insane. Linked mentally, and often physically, they formed a strange being that became fascinated by crime and ctiminals. Soon, the creature began calling itself The Crime Master and began plotting spectacular crimes.

Somewhere along the way to it’s first crime, The Crime Master found out about Al Amarja and the Edge. What better place to pull off a first heist than one of the strangest, most corrupt and dangerous places on earth? The heist (the theft of Monique D’Aibainne’s most prized necklace) went off perfectly and caused an uproar that had the whole island in chaos for days.  Over the next two months, The Crime Master pulled off 4 more spectacular and lucrative jobs. It also found out that other Edges existed in many cities around the world.

Since then,  The Crime Master and it’s crew (none of whom know what “the boss” really looks like) have pulled off crimes in Edges from Shanghai to Toronto. Anyone who gets in The Crime Master’s way dies in some particularly gruesome manner, often marked bu missing body parts.

In it’s spare time, The Crime Master enjoys planning even more spectacular thefts…and eating live crabs.


Just Too Damned Weird (4 dice) Well then, it’s a combination of mutant cephalopod, ultra tech cybernetics and human female, innit? Anyone who sees it out of it’s disguise (mask, dark suit, cloak, bowler hat) will almost certainly go insane. (has a definite Chtulhoid look)

Mentally Complex (3 dice) It’s strangely working mind makes it almost totally immune to psychic attacks or even normal psychological tricks. (gives off strange vibes when it speaks)

Mad Genius (3 dice)  The Crime Master’s IQ is off the scale. (most folks cannot follow it’s complex explanations)


None. No, really, nobody has discovered any yet.

The Blue Cow Boogie

…rock that boogie, boys

Well, today started off just wonderfully. Got up early to get my car over to the dealer’s service center by 7 am, walked home (it’s only just over a mile), ate my brekky and then…got the call that confirmed that my suspicions about the radiator were true. The radiator was cracked, leaking and had to be replaced…for $500! Along with the several months late maintenance, the final total was $786 big ones! Still, considering that Grace and I have put 102,600 miles on the car in just over 5 years, this is the first major repair it has needed. And, happily, it comes just after we had cleaned up our financial house, so it’s ok.

By the way, if you own a Honda CRV, be aware that if you need to replace the tiny fuckin’ clock in the dashboard, it will cost you $240 installed (I declined it and will buy a $1.00 stick on model at Target). Even better, if your CD player/radio craps out, the want $820 fuckin’ bucks to install a new Honda approved one! I declined that, too and shall instead get one from Best Buy…INSTALLED…for under $200. And I might get Sirius or XM radio, too. And it’ll STILL cost me a helluva lot less than EIGHT HUNDRED AND TWENTY bucks!

By the way, the service department manager was as flabbergasted as I was by those prices.

In other news, I’m getting tired of processing and freezing squash, so tomorrow, the zucchini plants meet their fate. As for the tomatoes…those get another couple of weeks, then they’re outta here.

I’m putting off the spinach planting until tomorrow. Today was all about the car (which was fully repaired and ready to go by 1:00) and tonight is all about watching Alton Brown break his clavicle, then watching Spider-Man 2…all accompanied by a cold brew or three.


About this character:  This is another denizen of the San Francisco Edge. In fact, he pretty much IS the San Francisco Edge…and maybe San Francisco itself

#11: His Imperial Highness,  Joshua Norton I 

The Big Man in The City By The BayTall, distinguished looking Caucasian man, looks about 45, 6’4″ tall, 200 pounds, well built, medium length dark hair, golden colored eyes, usually wears a well tailored black suit

When most people die, they stay dead. Legends, on the other hand, never die. In the case of Joshua Norton, this proved to be truer than anyone might imagine. It was during his much publicized and much attended funeral that the spirit of our only emperor found that it could not proceed on into the Great Hearafter. No, over the course of the next few days days it instead began getting more and more solid, until Joshua was once again fully flesh and blood. Of course, he wasn’t flesh and blood like we are, but the soul of the city made human.

The first thing Joshua realized was that he didn’t look exactly as he had at the time of his death. He was younger, fitter and much better looking. The next thing he realized was that there was another San Francisco overlaying the one most people could see and interact with. There were homes, shops and even an Imperial Palace. The population of this other city was only a couple of hundred people, but that would change.

Over the decades, the spirits of many native San Franciscans have been reborn into the San Francisco Edge, including a big surge in population after the 1906 earthquake and fire. Most of them live only in the Edge, but a few, like his Imperial Highness, can walk in both worlds. There are even some people not of the Edge who can enter and interact with it. Even some non-San Franciscans. Even some non-Californians! Emperor Norton tolerates this at his pleasure, but once in awhile he is forced to banish someone. Often, this is for calling The City by that foulest of epithets, “Frisco”.

In his spare time, Emperor Norton enjoys the symphony, walking around the city, Giants games, eating various ethnic foods, buying candy to hand out to children and giving the poor & homeless a helping hand.


Immortal (4 dice) As long as San Francisco exists, so will His Highness. (Eternally young)

Edgewise (4 dice) He can enter and leave the Edge at will, find any place in it and even invite or banish people (prominent Y shaped scars on both thumbs)

Charming (3 dice) As befits an emperor and the spirit of San Francisco, he is totally charming and easy to like. (has a totally winning smile)


Spirit of the City  (3 dice)  Being tied to the city has its downside. When the city hurts, so does he. Earthquakes are especially painful. (looks ill when there are large fires or other disasters)


Dark Matter Aardvarks

…they’re heavy, man

World Building Game Stuff

 Ok, guys, submit your first months report. Arn’s report is below, so use it as an example when posting your reports.

Monthly Report #1

Your Highness,

I am glad to hear that things are going well back home. Everyone here misses the old country, but we are also finding much to love here in our new lands. What follows is my monthly report. As you will see, we are making great progress already, with much more to come. Indeed, I expect a first shipment of goods to find It’s way to you in about 60 days. I am sure you will be pleased.

Our military detachment, under the leadership of General Warren, has not only done an excellent job of providing security, but has proven quite useful in the digging of irrigation canals to our fields and pastures. As per our orders, a squad of 7 soldiers spent a week doing mapping and exploration in the forests and hills to the north of us. They took with them Mr. Xanders (a blacksmith/miner) and Miss Goldeneye (our apprentice mage). While no magical energies were detected, Mr. Xanders did not several ore deposits that might prove worthy of further investigation. Many new animals and plants were sighted, as were several new streams.

Our farmers tell me that this rich soil will yield bumper crops this year. While our vintner, Mrs. Blaine, will have to wait until next year for a proper crop of wine grapes, she reckons that she should be able to produce several barrels of wild berry wine this fall. Our barley and hop crops are growing well enough to make our brewers, Mr. & Mrs. Wickett, positively giddy with anticipation. They have already revised the size of their brewhouse.

Master Pandemonius, our Wizard, has finished his daily enchantment of the southern wall of the village. He assures me now it will be many times stronger and fire resistant than any normal wooden wall. He is about to start on the western wall, with the remaining walls following after that.

Our engineers, builders and lumbermen are well into the construction of a bridge across the Swift River, which lies to our northwest. It will take near 6 months to build, but will open up new farming and grazing areas.

The Howard family (our millers), along with some help from the military and our builders, are more than halfway towards finishing our grain mill. Once it is finished, it will be ready to handle our summer grain crop.

Our other folk, from our teachers to our hunters & fisherman, are keeping quite busy. There is much to do here and they are eager to do their part.

Two days ago, I sent a soldier (Corporal Timmins) and Mr. Xanders back into the hills to give those ore deposits a closer look. They suspect their might be a silver vein nearby.

As for my own progress, I am kept busy both running the village and running my vegetable farm. I expect great things from both over the next year. I await any orders you may have and I am, as always,

Your Humble Servant

The Incredible Adventures Of Dr. Tempest During His Trip To Mars

…from the October, 1897 issue

Message to my World Building Game Players

I’m delaying posting Arn’s turn until tomorrow afternoon, so you all get an extra day to get your turns ready.

The Doclopedia

About this character:  This character popped up as an NPC in my OTE based Special X Unit supernatural investigators game. As you can guess, he was partially based on my dog, Roscoe.

#10: Special Agent Roscoe, FBI

FBI agent and paranormal investigator

Medium sized Basset Hound/Beagle mix, 7 years old, 50 pounds, reddish brown & white coat, brown eyes, long ears (right one has a small bullet hole in it), does not wear a collar

Agent Roscoe is one of two non-human agents assigned to Special X Unit of the FBI. His duties usually involve reconnaissance, tracking and surveillance, but he also has extensive knowledge in the fields of cryptozoology and animal behavior. He became an FBI agent at age 18 months and joined the X Unit shortly after his second birthday. He loves his job.

Although he has some telekinetic power, Roscoe only uses it in times of great peril, since the use of it leaves him very tired. Lacking opposable thumbs, Roscoe does not carry a gun. However, if needs be, he can administer a very painful bite. Like both The Andalusia Dog and the evil Rex, Roscoe is a talking dog. In fact, besides English, he is fluent in Spanish, French, Russian and Japanese..

In his spare time, Agent Roscoe enjoys people food, chasing bitches, reggae music, reading pulp magazine reprints and napping.


Incredible Senses (4 dice) Roscoe has superior senses of smell, taste and hearing. (He’s a dog)

Inconspicious (3 dice)  Roscoe can go many places where a human would be noticed right away. (He’s a dog)

Stamina (3 dice) Both bassets and beagles have great stamina when tracking their prey. (He’s a dog)


Non-humanoid Form  (3 dice)  While being a dog has many advantages, it does have some severe drawbacks. The most notable would be no hands/thumbs. (He’s a dog)


One Nation, Under The Flying Spaghetti Monster

…he drips his Marinara of Righteouness from sea to shining sea

I’ll be waiting for the Religious Right to protest in front of my house:)

So, in a move that I may well regret later, I started a thread over on RPGnet asking for suggestions for weekly themes for the 365 Days, 365 Characters thing. We’ll see how it works out.

In other news, I’m considering starting a mailing list for my Game Writing Project R thing. I’ll wait until I have a bit more of it hammered out before I actually make a decision on the list, but it would be useful to get some feedback from a few folks whose game fu is strong.

And now……………work. More blogging later.

The Children Who Eat Fear

…strange tykes, those


About this character:  Not all OTE characters are wacked out mutant aliens who dabble in mystic shit. Some are just ordinary folks like you and I. Well, ok, like YOU.

The Doclopedia #9

Over The Edge Characters:
Nicodemus SplatchBicycle messengerYoung man of indeterminate ethnicity and national origin, age 26, 170 pounds, 5’11” tall, good looking, short black hair, brown eyes, small scar under left eye.

Nico, as his friends call him, is a good natured young fellow who works for the Bikes Away Messenger Service located in Flowers Barrio. Well liked by just about everyone, Nico is known all over the Edge, since his job takes him to just about every corner of the city.

When he’s not working, Nico picks up extra cash by repairing and customizing bicycles. He lives with his girlfriend, Rita, and at least 3 cats.

In his spare time, Nico enjoys going out to the clubs, dancing, watching soccer and playing video games.


World Class Bicyclist (3 dice) It wouldn’t take too much effort for Nico to become either a bicycle racer or a stunt biker. (great endurance and reflexes)

Very Healthy (2 dice)  All that biking around keeps him in great condition.(very fit and lean)


Fear of Heights  (2 dice)  Nico has a definite fear of high places and will avoid them as much as possible. (gets nervous above the second floor)

In Quetzalcoatl We Trust

…that oughtta get the fundies and neocons all worked up:)

Quick Doc Update

Eating: Oatmeal with raisins & brown sugar
Reading: Hawaii: The Big Island (prepwork for the trip in October)
Watching: Eureka, Feasting On Asphault and The Closer
Writing: Game Writing Project R
Cooking: Endless batches of all natural garden fresh tomato sauce


About this character:  Unlike last week, this character (and 98% of the 357 characters to follow) is brand spanking new. The rules set is Over The Edge, but the characters are not all from Al Amarja.

The Doclopedia #8

Over The Edge Characters: Maryellen Baxter
Stay at home mom and mystical craftsperson. Caucasian woman, age 30, 145 pounds, 5’5″, average looks, short brown hair, brown eyes.

Maryellen is a native San Franciscan who lives with her husband, David, and their three children in a large Victorian home in the Marina District of San Francisco. Although she once worked as a bank teller, she now stays home in order to keep house and raise the kids. Maryellen enjoys a variety of crafts, from scrapbooking to beading to her favorite, making masks out of polymer modelling compound. Oddly enough, these masks can confer strange abilities to those who wear them. X ray vision, limited mind control, a sonic shout attack…all of these and more have been attributed to her masks. Naturally enough, this has made Maryellen very popular with the denizens of the San Francisco Edge. Once a month, Maryellen has coffee with her craftshop owning friend, Maxine, and gives her a half dozen or so masks on consignment. Maxine usually sells all of them in a matter of days, often for as much as $500.00 per mask.Maryellen is aware of her masks powers and of the existence of the San Francisco Edge, but she doesn’t let either affect her duties as a mom and wife. The money she makes off her masks goes straight into the kids “college money account”.

In her spare time, Maryellen enjoys shopping at thrift stores, watching Animal Planet, sewing and playing “Cheerleader and Football Player” with her husband.


Mystical Crafting Powers (3 dice)  She can craft beautiful masks with strange powers. (falls into a light trance when mask making)

Edgewise (2 dice)  She can find entrances to and places within the San Francisco Edge. (has a small Y shaped scar on her left thumb)

Mystically Immune (2 dice)  Maryellen cannot use, or be affected by, most mystical things or, including her own masks. (Never has anything “really strange” happen to her)


Diabetic (3 dice)  She has diabetes and uses insulin to control it. (always carries her monitor with her and uses it regulary)

Golden Octopus Puree

…Aaaah, cool and refreshing


Note from 2019: The post that I originally did here was vague and premature. It had to deal with a pro writing project that fell through.

To replace it, here’s my Lunch Smoothie recipe

1 cup acai/blueberry juice
1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
1 cup milk
1 banana, large
1/4 cup protein powder (your choice of type)

Put everything in a blender. Mix on low for 30 seconds, then high for 30 more seconds.

Drink it.



Here Come The Rock & Roll Mole Rats

…they’ve got the desert sands hoppin’


Well, kiddies, today marks the end of the first week of character posting here on the old LJ. I’ve decided that each week will have a theme, so I’m finishing this set with another of my early character creations.



Starting tomorrow: Over The Edge characters.


About this character:  Mr. Quick was the first superhero character I ever made. He was originally created for a Champions game, but I’m not gonna slog thru Hero system to present him here.


The Doclopedia #7
My Earliest RPG Characters: Mr. Quick
Strength: +1
Constitution: +1
Dexterity: +3
Intelligence: +1
Wisdom: +1
Charisma: +2
Advantages: Bravery, Area Knowledge (New York City), Wealth
Disadvantages: Hunted (by VIPER), Hunted (by Bonebreaker), Weakness (cold)
Powers/Gifts: Superspeed, Enhanced Reflexes, Toughness
Primary Skills:  Hand to Hand Combat +2, Acrobatics +2
Background: Wealthy race car driver Sam Hill was badly injured in a multi car crash during a big race. Told that he would never walk again, he vowed to spend every cent of his considerable wealth to find a cure. As luck would have it, he met Professor August March, who gave him an experimental treatment that should have restored him to normal health. It did, but it also gave Sam the ability to run and move at superspeed. About the same time, Sam met The Big Man, an 8 foot tall superstrong member of the Justice Team. He convinced Sam to become a superhero and join the team.In his spare time, Sam enjoys racing cars, meeting beautiful women, practicing judo, reading western novels and eating Mexican food.

She Had Electric Eyes

…and lightning hands

Thoughts On Missing Two GenCons

I didn’t really “miss” them, of course. After the trip from hell/infected leg suckfest that was the trip to GenCon in 2004, my feelings of boredom with the adventure gaming hobby/industry blossomed into downright hostility. Knowing that I needed time to get beyond such feelings, to say nothing of getting our monetary house in order, I told Grace that we would be sitting out GenCon 2005 and 2006. My thought was that if I really missed not being at the con by 2006, I was ready to go again.

Well, GenCon 2006 is over and I did indeed miss being there. In 2005, I had a twinge or two of sadness, but was not really terribly bugged about it. This year, altho I wasn’t totally bummed, I was missing that GenCon fix. I missed seeing all my friends…I missed wandering about the Dealers Room…I missed drinking with industry folk…I missed playing in/running games…and I sure as hell missed the long and eventful drives to and from the con. Yes, sisters and brothers, Old Uncle Doc’s gaming batteries are recharged. I’m ready to dive back in!

Now all I have to do is wait a fuckin’ year.

(Note from 2019: I went in 2007, then went 12 years between Gen Cons, mostly due to money problems. I should have at least tried to go every third year. That may have made my 2019 trip better, despite dental/allergy woes.)

The Rare And Colorful Feathered Tree Pig Of Potawango Island

…don’t walk under the trees they live in…messy

About this character: This was, as near as I can remember, the first Toon character I ever created.

The Doclopedia #6
My Earliest RPG Characters: Willy Wabbit

Madcap Toon
Muscle: 7
Smarts: 9
Zip: 8
Chutzpah: 9Shticks: Quick Change/Disguise, Bag of Many ThingsBeliefs & Goals: Everybody else is a chump, so you can feel free to mess with them. Being crazy is FUN! Drop everything if you see any yummy carrots. Stay away from cops and dogs.

Natural Enemies: Dogs, Cops, Psychiatrists

Background: Willy is a small white rabbit who wears green sneakers and a green vest. He is nuttier than a bag of walnuts and hyperactive to boot. Despite his strong addiction to carrots, Willy is very hard to trap, much to the dismay of the local police. He carries a big mallet, chewing gum and dynamite in his Back Pocket.

In his spare time, Willy likes eating carrots, carrot cake, glazed carrots, mashed carrots and carrot cookies with a big glass of carrot juice.

NOTE TO MY WORLD BUILDING GAME PLAYERS:  Your first monthly report will be due on Friday. Post it as a reply to my LJ that day. I’ll post Arn’s monthly report (since he gave it to me yesterday after our game session) as an example in the Friday LJ.

And now, I’m off to pick up my new glasses, then head to work.

Inside The House Of Whistling Fish

…hey, at least they’re happy fish

About this character: Arielle Ames was my first ever female PC. She was created for a variant Call of Cthulhu game that had a sort of “Ghostbusters” flavor, even tho it took place a year or so before the movie was released.

The Doclopedia #5
My Earliest RPG Characters: Arielle Ames

Consulting Witch and Private Eye
Strength: +1
Constitution: +1
Dexterity: +2
Intelligence: +3
Wisdom: +2
Charisma: +2
Advantages: Ambidexterity, Nightvision, Excellent Memory, Tough, Kind Hearted, Sexy
Disadvantages: Technology Jinx, Woman In A Man’s World, Hearing Loss In Right Ear, Hunted (by Cultists)

 High Level Spellcaster, Wiccan Priestess, Shapeshifter (can turn into a cat)

Primary Skills:
 Spellcasting +3, Hand to Hand Combat +2, Sword +1

 Arielle Ames is a native of Southern California (born in San Diego, raised in Hollywood). Her father was an FBI agent and her mother was a housewife and Wiccan High Priestess.  Arielle took after them both and became a private investigator as well as a witch. She is rather well known among law enforcement agencies and is often called in for “special cases”. Physically, Ari looks alot like Joan Jett did back in her “I Love Rock & Roll” days.

Ari has a partner, Bob, who just happens to be a superintelligent dog (small terrier mix) from another dimension (the dimension of Over The Edge, to bse exact. See the adventure “It Waits…” for more info) with a telepathic voice that sounds like Humphrey Bogart). She also has a leg man named Angel Valdez, who mostly checks out things that involve technology, since Ari tends to not play well with high tech devices.Ari has busted up several evil cults and this has put her at #1 on their Hate Parade. Any one of them would gladly cut her heart out, assuming she didn’t blast them to Hell first.

In her spare time, Ari enjoys tall dumb muscleboys, sweet faced nerdyboys, 1950’s Sci Fi movies, punk rock and dark chocolate.

The Lake Of Frozen Tears

…it’s very cold there

What Uncle Doc Did Today

Bought a small freezer from my mom, brought it home, plugged it in and then, after it had time to get cold, filled it with tons of frozen foods from the freezer part of the fridge.

Went grocery shopping and bought lots of stuff, including the makings for a bigass pot of spaghetti sauce. I also bought some Samuel Adams Black Lager, which I am consuming even as I type this.

Figured out the best way to make a new garden path in my mom’s garden. It will be a simple gravel path laid down on a bed of sand. Should work well and have good drainage.

Got books 3-6 of the Dresden Files novels in the mail from Amazon. Now I just need to find the time to start reading book 2. Oh, and I also got a book on raising and training Basset Hounds. Grace got a book on Hawaii and a couple of other books whose titles I can’t recall.

Killed a humongous Black Widow spider in the garage. One down, 3,421 to go.

And now, I’m off to go cook tomatoes into tomato sauce.