Baby, If People Were Food, You’d Be Pie

…coconut cream pie

Fuck, I’m tired this morning. Gotta start going to bed before midnight on work nights. Especially tonight and tomorrow night, since I have to get up at 6:00 AM on Tuesday & Wednesday. (for dentist & dermatologist appointments)

Wow! Character #75! Go, me!  Today, we’re back in the Old West for a gold mine guardian.

The Doclopedia #75

Guardians: Billy the Bear

It was lonely as hell, way out in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, where Jonas McCabe had his gold mine. So, when Jonas found an orphan California grizzly bear cub, he decided he’d found a friend, too.

It wasn’t long, maybe 3 years, until little Billy the Bear was weighin’ just shy of a ton and standing 14 feet tall when he reared up on his hind legs. He was a damn smart bear, seeing as how old Jonas had taught him all sorts of tricks and commands. He was also fiercely protective of both Jonas and the area around the mine…which worked out real nice when Jonas hit a thick vein o’ gold.

Now, nobody knows how many people tried to jump Jonas’ claim, but I can tell ya, none of ’em ever came back with any gold. Hell, fact is, none of ’em ever came back at all.

Anyway, once he was rich, Jonas up and built himself a big ol’ house near the mine. Damned place has huge doors, so Billy can walk into the house and make himself at home anytime he wants to. And at supper time, Billy gets a nice pig or sheep or quarterside of beef. That is, if he hasn’t filled himself up on claim jumpers.