…Hermione and Ginny are both PMSing
The Doclopedia #78
People With Swords: Cupid The Barbareian
It was in the spring of 1991 when Murray Felderman woke up to find the Goddess Of Love standing beside his bed. Understandably, Murray was a bit surprised and more than a little scared. And yes, he was horny, what with her being tall, beautiful, sexy and barely covered by a toga. See, that’s kind of a dream come true for men…especially chubby little Jewish insurance salesman who hadn’t been laid since just before his wife Diane left him 2 years ago.
So anyway, the Goddess Of Love tell him she needs a new Cupid because the old one is retiring. Before Murray can say anything, there is a flash of light, a shower of rose petals, the scent of chocolate and Barry White singing in the background…and Murray is 6’6″ tall, buff as all hell, holding a bigass sword and possessed of a full head of long blonde hair. Also, he was well hung and wearing a leather loincloth. Score!
From that day forward, Murray was Cupid. He goes out every day and smites people with his Sword of Love, bringing happiness into their lives. At night, Murray gets to go to the Beach Resort of the Gods and get him some hot goddess lovin’. All in all, it’s a hell of a lot better than life with Diane ever was.