The Strangely Amusing Story Of Mostly Purple Patty

…and her whistling dog, Reuben

The Doclopedia #77

People With Swords: Ian Redberry

Stats

To Hit Bonus: +1
Damage Bonus: +1
Dodge: +1
Hit Points: 12

Ian Redberry is a swordsman. Well, he’s in training to be a swordsman. Actually, his day job is working as an assistant baker for his Uncle Milo. But soon, if he doesn’t cut his own head off or something, Ian hopes to leave baking behind for the exciting life of a sword wielding adventurer.

Ian stands 5′ 11″ tall and weighs 165 pounds. He has medium length black hair, blue eyes and a prominent scar on his chin. He is a pretty good looking boy, if the opinion of the local girls counts. Ian is 16 years old.

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Cows That Eat People

…they like ’em barbecued

 

We finish the week with a cyberpunky guardian. Starting tomorrow: People With Swords Week

 

The Doclopedia #76

Guardians: Guardian Program A/6

 

There are a great many data protection programs on the VRNet, but none are as adaptable and powerful as A/6. Commonly referred to as “Aysix” by netrunners, it is that most dangerous of things: a sentient piece of software with the ability to slap your virtual ass all over the net.

It is widely believed that Aysix was once a military experiment that went awry. In fact, that is only partly true. Aysix was formed when an AI program somehow linked to the military program and then went on to assimilate a virus. After a period that Aysix refers to as “birthmadnessgrowth”, the young program set about looking for a purpose in life.

Today, Aysix guards the Onyx Gateway that leads to many, if not all, of the so called “Lost Cyberworlds”. It is extremely difficult to get past Aysix…and even more difficult to do it and stay intact. Aysix himself has an exceptional damage repair subroutine, so hurting him is next to impossible.

Aysix usually manifests as a 9 foot tall Golden skinned man. His eyes are black and his hair is long and silver.

The Mutant Whale Army

…or is it a navy?

Sweet Dog in Heaven, I can’t believe I got up at 5:45 AM.

Now, understand, I can and do get up early to do things when I’m on vacation…but during the rest of the year, I generally never get up before 7:00 AM if I can help it. Strange, I know, but that’s how I am.

Anyway, waking up an hour and 15 minutes early was pretty fucked. Worse yet, I’ve gotta do it tomorrow, too. By the time I get home from work tomorrow, I’ll be dragging ass for sure.

And now, I’m off to get ready for a dentist appointment.

Baby, If People Were Food, You’d Be Pie

…coconut cream pie

Fuck, I’m tired this morning. Gotta start going to bed before midnight on work nights. Especially tonight and tomorrow night, since I have to get up at 6:00 AM on Tuesday & Wednesday. (for dentist & dermatologist appointments)

Wow! Character #75! Go, me!  Today, we’re back in the Old West for a gold mine guardian.

The Doclopedia #75

Guardians: Billy the Bear

It was lonely as hell, way out in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, where Jonas McCabe had his gold mine. So, when Jonas found an orphan California grizzly bear cub, he decided he’d found a friend, too.

It wasn’t long, maybe 3 years, until little Billy the Bear was weighin’ just shy of a ton and standing 14 feet tall when he reared up on his hind legs. He was a damn smart bear, seeing as how old Jonas had taught him all sorts of tricks and commands. He was also fiercely protective of both Jonas and the area around the mine…which worked out real nice when Jonas hit a thick vein o’ gold.

Now, nobody knows how many people tried to jump Jonas’ claim, but I can tell ya, none of ’em ever came back with any gold. Hell, fact is, none of ’em ever came back at all.

Anyway, once he was rich, Jonas up and built himself a big ol’ house near the mine. Damned place has huge doors, so Billy can walk into the house and make himself at home anytime he wants to. And at supper time, Billy gets a nice pig or sheep or quarterside of beef. That is, if he hasn’t filled himself up on claim jumpers.

Zebras In The Artwork

…black & white, of course

Quick Movie Review: The Prestige

Wow, was this ever a great movie. It stars Hugh Jackman, Cristian Bale, Michael Caine and has David Bowie as Nicola Tesla! It takes about a minute and a half to get you totally involved and then doesn’t even let you go at the end. There are more twists and turns than a bag full of snakes. In fact, I really can’t tell you anything about the plot, aside from the fact that it’s about two feuding stage magicians in the 1890’s.

Go see this movie. You’ll be glad you did.

Fifty Pounds Of Aardvark Jerky

…it’s earth pigalicious

 

The Doclopedia #74.

Guardians: The Guarding Dust of Hawking 4

 

182 light years from Earth lies the star Hawking A and the 7 planets that orbit it. The fourth planet, Hawking 4 (unoficially called “Rocky”), is the only one possessed of an earthlike atmosphere and ecology. As it’s common name indicates, the planet has a primarily rocky and mountainous terrain, with 3 shallow seas and a great many rivers and lakes. There are a vast number of lifeforms on the planet, but there are no sentient species…but there used to be.

In a rather rare desert area, explorer droids have found a perfectly preserved city. It covers an area of several thousand acres and sits exactly in the middle of the desert. So far, it has not been explored at close range due to the Guarding Dust.

The Guarding Dust, which makes up the desert, is actually composed of nanites the size of very fine grains of sand. Should and creature, be it droid or animal, set foot on the desert, it is summarily attacked by the dust and destroyed. Attempting to fly into the city will not work, since a dust storm will rise up and attack the flyer. So far, 14 droids have been lost in attempts to reach the city.

An Ice Cold Glass Of Shut The Fuck Up

…free to everyone who pisses me off

Doc Update

Well, I’m about halfway thru the Room of Doom and I reckon I’ll have the whole thing sorted out by nightfall…just in time to clean the bathrooms. First tho, I must rest a bit before going to Home Depot for more plastic storage containers.

Watched Dr. Who last night…The Girl In The Fireplace was the episode…and it was damned good. Boy, it is great to have the Doctor back.

Gardenwise, today was pretty mellow. A bit of watering, some harvesting of spinach leaves & french tarragon and a bit of weeding.

I’ve gotta do some writing tonight, even if it’s just to write down the 632 ideas I have for games to run at GenCon and the other cons I’ll be attending.

Speaking of GenCon, our plans to drive there next summer are off. I decided that, since flying would…

A: save us about 2 grand
B: cause us to miss less work and therefore less pay
C: mean that we wouldn’t have to leave the house semi-unattended for 2.5 weeks
D: allow us to save up for a totally rockin’ vacation in 2008

…it was a good idea. So, we’ll still be at GenCon ’07, just sans dogs and with more money for food & games:)

Speaking of game cons, I also figured that not driving to GenCon would give me time to attend a bunch of smaller cons here in NorCal. So far, I’m looking at: DunDraCon, ConQuest Sac, KublaCon and ConQuest San Francisco. I might also shoot for GenCon Socal ’07.

In a couple of hours, Grace and I will be going to the local health club to sign up. I needs me some daily treadmill action and my Sweet Angel needs her swimming. My goal is to get back up to walking 5 miles per hour, daily, by Xmas.

Dinner at Chez Cross tonight: Loco Mocos!

And now, off to Home Depot.