Mrs. Wangdoodle Gets Naked

…damn those hot flashes

365 Days, 365 Characters/Locations

About this location : This is from my CyberPulp world, but it also exists in our world…but it’s not as cool

#114: Alcatraz Island

In the CyberPulp universe, Alcatraz Island was purchased in 1840 by the very first Doc Tempest (or rather, the first member of the family to be known by that name). He then hired a large number of men to begin work on what would become the family estate and headquarters for all the Doc Tempests to come.

Originally, the island had a large house, several outbuildings, laboratories and a dock for boats and ships. In 1849, a lighthouse was added and a great deal of landscaping began. In 1865, a small zoo was built. Not all of the creatures found their would be recognized by most zoologists. The australopithicus would be one of them.

By the 1920’s, the island had been enlarged from it’s original 18.86 acres to just shy of 26 acres. A wide array of security devices had been installed, along with an airstrip and hangar (with a dirigible mast). An underground cavern was converted into a submarine pen. The zoo was relocated to the grounds of the Tempest Foundation in Sacramento.

In 1952, the island was again enlarged, this time to it’s present size of 40 acres. Almost every building was torn down and rebuilt.

In 1973, construction began on the dome that now covers the island. It was finished in 1977.

As of 2035, there are 75 permanent residents of the island, almost all of them are on Doc Tempest’s support team. Security on the island is the tightest in the world and so far, none of Doc’s enemies have ever breached it.

Super Milk Chan VS Ren & Stimpy

…wow, I just heard sombody’s head explode

Today, I switch over from daily characters to daily locations.

365 Days, 365 Characters/Locations

About this : We’ll start off our locations with a small drinking establishment set in the Pulp Era.

#113: Hannigan’s Tavern

Located on a corner in a working class section of The Big City, Hannigan’s is the kind of place were the average Joe can stop in for a couple of brews after a hard day at work. The radio is usually set to a baseball game or a comedy show and there’s free pretzels or peanuts at the bar.

The layout is simple…the main room is a 30’X65′ rectangle with booths on one side, the bar on the other and tables & chairs in between. A long hallway connects the main room with (in order): men’s room, ladies room, broom closet, office, store room and “meeting room”. The meeting room is generally used for Hannigan’s weekly poker game, but sometimes it gets used to stash people in trouble. Not criminals, just folks who find themselves in danger from bad guys.

The decor of Hannigan’s runs mostly to dark woods, bar signs and medium level lighting. The place has seen better days, but it’s not a dump.

Open Mon.-Sat. 11 am to 2 am and Sunday from 1 pm to 12 am.

So We Put His Sports Car In An Oak Tree

…and amazingly, we still graduated

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Two words: Toy Cops

#112: Detective Ted E. Bear

Stats

STR: 2d6
DEX: 2d6
CON: 3d6
INT: 4d6

At the Butte Valley Day Care & Pre-School, Ted E. Bear is the cop who gets the scum off of the street. Dolly hookers, action figure gangs, rowdy wind up robots or stuffed toy mobsters, Detective Bear is on their asses like poop on a diaper. He’s tough, dedicated and quick with a pop gun.

Detective Bear stands 18″ tall and weighs 2 pounds. His fur is dark brown and has a few spit stains. One of his eyes is brown and the other is a black button. He lives behind the big toy box. His favorite drink is Pedialyte on the rocks.

Frozen Dog Poop Bombs

…right there in my yard

It’s 31 fuckin’ degrees outside just now! To you folks from the less civilized world (or the high Sierras here in California), that might seem like a balmy day, but to us here in the Big Tomato, it’s too damned cold. I’m hoping my spinach survives the freeze. Daisy was none to thrilled about being taken out into the freezing cold to pee, so she accomplished her mission in record time before streaking back into her warm bed. Meanwhile, before I leave for my dentist appointment, I need to pick up and dispose of the titular doggie land mines.

And before y’all start calling me a cold weather wimp (which I am), I’ll just tell ya that we will no doubt see a few even colder days hereabouts before the sane weather returns.

Yellow Doom Flowers

…and aluminum butterflies

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Today’s lawman isn’t really a man, but he serves Our Robot Masters well.

#111: Law Enforcement Unit 3-DR/44 “Wyatt Earp”

Stats

STR: 5d6
DEX: 4d6
CON: 4d20
INT: 5d8

3-DR/44, or Wyatt Earp as the meat units know him, is the primary law enforcement robot in the Madison Sector of Wisconsin Territory. He enforces the peace among the meat units, which is a full time job given their ability to cause trouble. Additionally, he keeps an optical sensor out for any attempted rebellion against the Primary Robotic Masters. Such rebellion is not tolerated and Wyatt is programmed to terminate with extreme predjudice and efficiency all rebels he locates.

Wyatt stands 5 feet 3 inches tall and weighs 900 pounds. He is armed with a full sensor array, a wide assortment of both lethal and non-leathal weapons, a Class 5 robot/human psychological interface chip and armor that can withstand a direct hit by a Light Antitank Weapon.

In his spare time, 3-DR/44 improves his personality programming by watching old cop movies and tv shows. He is particularly fond of Clint Eastwood, Humphrey Bogart and Jack Webb.

The World Famous Mudball Catapult

…fired 5 times in May, 1967

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: A strange little village needs a cool headed top cop.

#110: Chief Constable Wilfred Tilden

Stats

STR: 3d6
DEX: 3d6
CON: 3d8
INT: 4d8

Wilf Tilden is the head cop in the small village of Bogsby. Located “a good two day’s walk from anywhere interesting”, Bogsby is the center for weirdness in Great Britain. Strange shit happens there with great regularity. Ghosts, aliens, strange animals, werewolves, mad scientists, monsters…sooner or later, they all visit Bogsby.

Fortunately for the locals, Wilf will have none of this supernatural carrying on disrupting things on his watch. With the aid of his 2 junior constables, Viv and Peter, he investigates things straightaway and sorts them out. In some cases, this can be as simple as helping an alien gas up their spacecraft with liquefied sheep dung. Other times, a foul creature from the nether regions must be captured or destroyed. All in a days work for C.C. Tilden.

When he first took this assignment, 20 years ago, Wilf would file reports to Scotland Yard, but after a few years, they asked him to stop. It seems they didn’t want to know what was going on if it involved anything paranormal. On the other hand, Wilf has struck up a very active email friendship with a U.S. FBI agent.

Wilfred Tilden is a man of average looks, standing 5’10” tall and weighing 190 pounds. He has light brown hair, brown eyes and wears wireframe glasses. He is married and has 3 adult children and 2 grandchildren. In his spare time, he likes fishing and gardening.

Smurfin’ USA

…and then we’ll go to Smurf City

It’s rainy and overcast outside, which just totally sucks. Inside, Grace & I are about to eat lunch and Daisy is watching the whole proceedings. No music playing, but we do have “Dirty Jobs” on the telly.

Grace and I have gotten back into playing Puzzle Pirates after a hiatus of several months and it’s even more fun than it was before. New Seas, new puzzles…even pets you can buy. Yarr!

I’m doing well on the treadmill. Knocked off 2.25 mildly uphill miles in 52 minutes last night. After lunch (and a bit of time to let this pizza settle), I’ll walk another few miles.

I’ll post today’s character a bit later. For now, it’s surfin’ da web for me!

Purple Pain Pixies

…yeah, I know

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Modern times today, but not your average cop.

#109: Deputy Mark Lindale

Stats

STR: 5d10
DEX: 5d10
CON: 5d10
INT: 3d8

Deputy Lindale has been a sheriff’s deputy for 7 years, but he has been a mutant since puberty. He’s way faster, stronger and tougher than any normal human. As you might imagine, this has sometimes come in very handy on the job.

Even though he has been tempted to become a masked vigilante, Mark has resisted. He figures living one life is enough of a pain in the ass. Besides, masked vigilantes have a terrible benefits package.

Mark is 32 years old, single and ruggedly handsome. He doesn’t have any one steady girl, a fact his mother reminds him of frequently. His dad just gives him a thumbs up. When he’s not driving a police cruiser, Mark is riding his Triumph motorcycle.

Mark has met exactly one other mutant in his life, the world famous serial killer Buddy Ray Cutter. Buddy Ray has the power to move at three times normal speed, which helped him elude the police and butcher people in record time. What it didn’t do is protect him from one of Mark’s punches. Now Buddy Ray is in prison…until he figures out how to escape.

Attack Of The Atomic Baby

…a Roger Corman film

Oh look, Gladys, it’s stuff in full fall plumage!

1: Yesterday was fuckin’ crazy busy at work. I guess this year, all those Black Friday shoppers wanted pizza.

2: Speaking of shopping, and by seasonal association, Xmas, this year will see no presents exchanged by Grace and I. We figure a $1,600 treadmill and a dog were presents enough.

3: Speaking of the dog, Daisy is doing better. Still has a runny nose and stuff, but she is drinking more water and being more active.

4: I pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve or something in my neck about a week ago and it has been acting up a bit. Everything from minor twinges to serious pain & headaches. Seems to be easing up a bit today, but I think I need to go visit my chiropractor.

5: It is sunny and mild today. I just got back from a 1 mile stroll with Daisy. Soon, I’ll be puttering about in the garden.

And now, the lyrics to the greatest song ever written about a U.S. city…

I Left My Heart In San Fransisco

The loveliness of Paris
Seems somehow sadly gay
The glory that was Rome
Is of another day
I’ve been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan
And I’m coming home to my city by the bay

I left my heart in San Francisco
High on a hill, it calls to me
To be where little cable cars
Climb halfway to the stars!
The morning fog will chill the air

I don’t care

My love waits there in San Francisco
Above the blue and windy sea

When I come home to you, San Francisco,
Your golden sun will shine for me!

More bloggishness later, alligator!

The California Kid Drops A Dime

…summer, 1981

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: This cop has the most unwanted beat in the city…Faerietown.

#108: Inspector Nick Douglas

Stats

STR: 2d8
DEX: 3d6
CON: 2d10
INT: 4d6

Nobody wants the Faerietown beat. Dealing with Pookas, Brownies, Elves, Gnomes, Sprites, Trolls and the dozens of other species of faerie that live there is enough to make a cop give up and become a farmer. Which is exactly why Nick got the job. The brass was hoping that he’d say “screw it” after a few weeks and leave the force. The brass were wrong.

Instead of letting the faeries make him crazy (he has 2 ex-wives for that), Nick learned everything he could about them. Before long, he had trusted contacts among the faerie and was busting crooks right and left. He even got a commendation from the King of Faerietown. Of course, he did make some enemies, but that’s what cold iron bullets are for.

Nick Douglass is 5’11” tall, weighs 185 pounds, has black hair and brown eyes and walks with a slight limp. His favorite radio show is “The Jack Benny Program”, his favorite drink is scotch on the rocks, his favorite food is Chinese and his favorite gun is a .45 automatic. Nick lives in a small apartment with his cat, Abigail.

Red Red Swine

…not a UB40 song

Dinner was delish, but now it is late and I must work tomorrow, so here is today’s lateass character.

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: A good old fashioned Wild West lawman.

#107: Marshall Bart McKain

Stats

STR: 3d6
DEX: 2d10
CON: 3d8
INT: 3d6

U.S. Marshall Bart McKain is about 90% of the law in Arizona Territory. Most local sheriffs are either cowards or crooks, so Bart has alot of bad guys to deal with. Pretty nice that he likes his work, eh?

Bart is a 6’4″, 325 pound man of mixed Irish & Mexican ancestry. He’s a damned good shot with a rifle and even better with a pistol. Bart is an even tempered man most of the time, but when his temper pops, look out!

Bart owns a small ranch up near the Navajo Nation, but he travels all over the territory on his horse, Jack. Often, he travels with his old pal, Dusty, a man of many words and not enough personal hygiene.

Canary Carnival

…tweet tweet fuckin’ tweet

Gluttony Day So Far

Having slept in late and therefore having had a late brekky, Grace and I just had our lunch about an hour ago. We ate the delicious and humongous Shrimp Salad with Feta Cheese. My Sweet Angel is now sacked out in a food coma and I’m just past the “Might Explode” stage. Dinner proper is at least 4 hours away.

Dog Report

Daisy has a viral infection (basically, a bad cold/flu) and is sleeping alot and getting an antibiotic pill every 12 hours. She is considerably peppier than she was yesterday, but still a bit woozily.

Meme Time

This one is courtesy of the ever interesting Nikchick, altho I added the questions after #34.

One word answers only, y’all.

1. Yourself: human
2. Your spouse: caring
3. Your hair: greying
4. Your mother: fiesty
5. Your father: deceased
6. Your favorite item: laptop
7. Your dream last night: surrealistic
8. Your favorite drink: tea
9. Your dream car: Corvette
10. The room you are in: living
11. Your ex: dumb
12. Your fear: conformity
13. What you want to be in 10 years? Emperor
14. Who you hung out with last night? Grace
15. What you’re not? typical
16. Muffins: blueberry
17. One of your wish list items: TARDIS
18. Time: 4:00
19. The last thing you did: sneezed
20. What you are wearing: shorts
21. Your favorite weather: hot
22. Your favorite book: absorbing
23. The last thing you ate: salad
24. Your life: interesting
25. Your mood: relaxed
26. Your best friend: civilized
27. What are you thinking about right now? dog
28. Your car: trusty
29. What are you doing at the moment? typing
30. Your summer: gardening
31. Your relationship status: excellent
32. What is on your TV? music
33. What is the weather like? windy
34. When is the last time you laughed? 3:00
35. Ice cream: Chocolate
36. Your favorite herb/spice? garlic
37. Music? rock
38. Favorite color? green
39. Body? fat
40. Flaw? temper

Turkeys, You Have Nothing To Fear Here

…on the other hand, you fish are doomed

UnTurkey Day at Casa Cross

As I have mentioned in the past, for no good reason beyond being contrary & whimsical, Grace and I never have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. This year is no exception. On the menu is…SEAFOOD!

Shrimp Salad with Feta Cheese
Green Beans with Garlic and Oregano
Biscuits
Pan Fried Ono
Broiled Red Snapper with Sage/Lime Butter
Deep Dish Crumb Topped Apple Pie Ala Mode

Yum Yum!

Things I’m Thankful For

My Family
My Friends
My Health
My Sweet Angel Of A Wife
My Dog

More bloggage later.

The Summer That We Nearly Went To Woodstock

…accent on the nearly

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Today, we start Lawmen (and women) Week with a fantasy world sheriff who always gets her man…or woman…or orc…or halfling…or elf…

#106: Sheriff Galzea Ovir

Stats

STR: 3d8
DEX: 4d6
CON: 3d10
INT: 3d6

Galzea Ovir is the daughter, granddaughter and great granddaughter of lawmen & women. So well known is her law enforcing family that many criminals just give themselves up if they hear that she is after them. Galzea has been Sheriff of the Greenwood district for 5 years now and the crime rate has plummeted.

Galzea is a 5’4″ woman of mixed human/elvish ancestry. She keeps her greenish blonde hair short and usually wears mithril armor. Her favored weapons are a longbow for distance and a broadsword for close up work. Besides being a 7th level fighter, Galzea is also a 5th level wizard and a 4th level theif. She usually rides a well trained gelding horse named “Storm”.

Pit Bulls In A Bathtub

…clean and mean

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Our final alien is nearly dead, but could get better at any time.

#105: Lorigal

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 10
Mental: 6
Spiritual: 7

Lorigal is the sole surviving member of the ZhuKot race. When the various slave races rose up and destroyed the ZhuKoth, Lorigal was barely able to escape. Unfortunately, his ship developed an instability in it’s hyperdrive and he had to abandon ship in a lifepod. Fortunately for him, ZhuKoth lifepods are virtually indestructible and the suspended animation freezing units are self repairing. Unfortunately, Lorigal’s lifepod was in the middle of nowhere, so all he could do was lock it onto the nearest star (210 light years away) and head thataway…at 5% the speed of light. Still, Lorigal doesn’t care…he’s frozen solid.

Lorigal stands 9 feet 6 inches tall and weighs 1,200 pounds. He is a tentacled reptile with a centauroid body. When he arrives on a planet that can sustain his type of lifeform (such as Earth), he will initiate his self fertilizing option and give birth to 3-6 fast growing young. Once he has a decent sized army built up, he will start conquering the new planet.

Choice Cuts Of Gopher Meat

…sauteed in olive oil

365 Days, 365 Characters?

First off, I’m not stopping my daily bit of RPG joy. But…

The character below will be my 104th character in a row since I started this. I’ll be doing some more, but the truth is, I’m getting bored thinking up characters. SO…in about a week, I’ll be switching from characters to LOCATIONS. And, should I get bored with locations 100 or so days down the road, I’ll do items or monsters or maybe even characters again. But by Dog, I’ll do SOMETHING every day until the day Grace and I leave for GenCon 2007 next August. And now…

About this character: This alien is not organic, but he does have a lovely singing voice.

#104: Hek 40

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 8
Mental: 8
Spiritual: 1

Hek 40, or Hec Forte as he is known here on Earth, is a member of the Aarini race. The Aarini are robotic life forms from the far side of our galaxy. They generally keep to themselves and their 4 solar systems, but Hek 40 was always an explorer. One day, he explored a wormhole and the next thing he knew he was crash landing on Earth in the year 1930.

It took Hek 40 about 2 weeks to learn everything he needed to know about humans, create an organic covering for his body and become Hec Forte, jazz pianist and singer. So far, he has been on Earth for 10 months and he is enjoying every minute of it. He has an apartment, a girlfriend, lots of musician friends to jam with and a pocket full of money. Life is good.

The Rare And Beautiful Vampire Duck Of Potawango Island

…they vant your blood, kvack kvack

Shit! Almost forgot another character! I blame the dog:)

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: This is a short but sweet entry…and so is the alien.

#103: Dweeno

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 2
Mental: 6
Spiritual: 7

Dweeno is 12 inches tall and looks for all the world like a stuffed teddy bear. He has a very sweet disposition and everyone who meets him likes him. Dweeno is also a very accomplished quantum drive mechanic and can brew a wonderfully potent ale that his people call “Gwiiish”.

Natural Mail Enhancement

…you get big letters

Bond Begins

We saw the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale today and it was a damned good flick. Certainly the best Bond movie in a long while, despite being a bit too long and floundering a tad towards the end. Daniel Craig nailed Bond and most of the other actors did very well by their characters. The action scenes rocked (especially the African chase scene) and the torture scene had every guy in the theater wincing.

Also, the young lady playing Vesper Lind looked remarkably like a young lady I once had a heated relationship with…a few decades ago.

All in all, I think it was a good idea to restart the Bond series. Truth to tell, it’s about 20 years overdue. Doc sez go see this movie.

Next Post: After I move another ton of games.

Popcorn For Breakfast

…pop, pop

Damn, I almost missed getting today’s character up!

About this character: This alien thinks the Klingon’s are a bunch of pussies.

 

The Doclopedia #102

Aliens:  Jix the Conqueror

 

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 3
Mental: 6
Spiritual: 9

Jix, or as he is more commonly known, High Warlord Jix, is the iron fisted ruler of 67 planetary systems. He used to rule 71, but he got bored one day and destroyed 4 of them. On a good day, the trillions of people he rules over merely fear him more than anything else in life. On a bad day, they fear him so much their heads explode.

When he is not conquering new systems, torturing his enemies, laying waste to ecosystems, terrorizing the free worlds or strangling kittens & puppies, Jix likes long walks on the beach, cuddling and baking cookies.

Herbert The Pig Goes To Town

…for shopping, a movie and some slop

Walking Miss Daisy

Daisy has settled in quite nicely, despite causing a bit of chaos in the living room while we were at work yesterday. She’s affectionate, pretty mellow and not to be trusted around ham sandwiches:)

We are certainly noticing how different Daisy is from Roscoe. Daisy is…

5 years old…Female…Spayed…Quiet…Doesn’t snore…Energetic when walking…Not stinky…Friendly with other dogs…Curious, but not overly so…Pretty obedient

Roscoe was…

10 years old when we got him…Male…Fully Operational until age 12, when he had to be neutered…Vocal…Snored like a house full of loggers…Reasonably energetic when walking, but more sniffy and he stopped to pee every 5 feet…Pretty stinky, in that old male dog way (plus he farted alot)…Pretty wary of other dogs until he decided if he liked them…Curious as hell even when it was gonna get him in trouble…Obedient when it suited him.

Both dogs love/loved riding in the car, altho we have yet to determine if Daisy likes reggae as much as Roscoe did.

Anyway, Daisy is a good girl and in a bit, we’ll be taking her to PetCo to buy a few toys and treats and a harness.

Treadmill Update: Last night was my first real session on the treadmill (which was installed on Thursday). I walked for 20 minutes at between 2 and 3 miles an hour. For about half of the session, I had the elevation set for a fairly steep hill climb. It felt good to be walking again.

And now, off to doggie shopping heaven.

Beer And Kittens

…even more fun that tequila and puppies

About this character: This alien is just a starfaring trader trying to make an honest buck. No, really.

The Doclopedia #101

Aliens: Dorgash 9933

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 5
Mental: 7
Spiritual: 7

Dorgash 9933 is the owner and captain of the freighter “Red Gnartok” and is known across the Thousand Suns Empire as an honest businessbeing. Her crew, which numbers 15 beings from 4 species, are very loyal to her and she to them. Together, they keep the 1.5 mile ship running and busy.

Dorgash 9933 trades in a wide variety of items, but she does have a few taboos. Slaves, narcotics and heavy weaponry are out just on principle. Exotic matter is out due to the danger and live animals are absolutely out due to what Dorgash 9933 and her crew refer to as “The S’Krondian Zoo Incident”.

Dorgash 9933 is a Iskillian female of average (6′) height and weight (190 pounds). She has triangular vision patches, white & yellow fur and 3 different scent glands. In her spare time , she enjoys playing coswix, eating hooshal and watching professional pit fighters.

The Day Daisy Came To Stay

Daisy222…was today, as a matter of fact

WE HAVE A DOG!

Today, Grace and I adopted a 5 year old female Basset Hound. Her name is Daisy. She is very healthy, very friendly and pretty darned glad to be outta the shelter and in a house. We gave her a flea bath at LaunderDog and she was a hell of alot easier to wash than Roscoe ever was.

I’ll be taking pictures of Daisy this weekend and will try to put them up for y’all to see.

And yes, we will be getting a second dog in the near future.

365 Days, 365 Characters

About this character: Sometimes, even great explorers choose the wrong place to explore.

#100: Monek Vuu

Stats (based on a d10)

Physical: 4
Mental: 7
Spiritual: 5

Monek Vuu came to Earth to study a species that was amazingly similar, physically, to his own. With only a minimal amount of genetic reconfiguration, he made himself look exactly like them. Then, alone, he came to Earth and infiltrated a group of them. The fools back at the University of Jittaki would soon regret labelling him a “washed up has been”.

Things went well for Monek over the first 3 months. He would sneak back to his ship every week or so to write down his observations and have a bottle of suzzok. Then, in the beginning of the fourth month, things took a bad turn. Humans came and captured Monek and his entire adopted family. He considered trying to reason with the humans, then thought better of it. After all, humans were notoriously unreasonable.

After many days, they were put upon a transport vessel that brought them to their present home. Monek tried several times to escape, but the humans had them locked up tight. After a time, Monek decided to wait, study the human language and eventually try to make contact. So far, things are progressing slowly, but Monek is optimistic.

Besides, posing as a chimpanzee wasn’t such a bad gig.