The Doors In My Head Resist Slamming

…unlike doors in my house

Finally, the Last Episode of this year’s post. Whew!

I mention dogs a lot in my subject lines. Here are my doggie entries that are not about Daisy & Winker

Happy Dancing Pooch Dogs (these are the best sort of dog)

Bouncy Dog Revue

Dogs On Harleys, Cats With Guns (pretty dangerous sounding pets, eh?)

Purple Dogs, Yellow Cats, Green Guinea Pigs

A Dog Riding A Hog Through A Bog (I was in a rhyming mood for this one)

Dogpunk Stories (hmmm…could be a new sort of doggie genre lit here)

Orange Mice, Magenta Dogs, Azure Cats

Left Hand Of Dog (well, left paw, actually)

Dogs On Snowboards, Cats In Hang Gliders (no doubt getting ready for the Pet X Games)

Pit Bulls In A Bathtub (I’m guessing that they can use the tub whenever they like)

The Silence Of The Basset Hounds (around here, they’re most silent when eating or sleeping)

I did these in an attempt to piss off any Religious Righties that might read them

WWMND? What Would Mr. Natural Do?

In Blog We Trust

WWPPD? (what would Porky Pig do?)

In Quetzalcoatl We Trust

One Nation, Under The Flying Spaghetti Monster

And then there’s this thing with the monkeys that I do from time to time

We Only Like The Nice Monkeys
We Used To Like Monkeys, But Now We Like Orangutans
Ok, So We Like Monkeys Again

Finally, we come to the stuff that just sounded cool and/or strange and/or funny to me.

Kangaroo Mafia (aka “wise marsupials”)

Hot Blue Power Blasts

Sweet Tasting Evil (far better that the sour or bland evils)

Magenta Mice

The Nuclear Prawn Cannon (cos “prawn” is a funny word)

Anime…Anime Not

Crazy Hot Rock & Roll Daddy (with a Fender Stratocaster, no doubt)

Lime Green Otters

It’s All Fun And Games Until Somebody Gets Turned Into A Wallaby (I was going to do a whole series of these. Maybe this year.)

As Rare As a Pellucidarian Sunset (a bit of an Edgar Rice Burroughs reference now and then never hurts)

Intentions As Clear As Glass

Conquest Of The Big Tomato (“Big Tomato” = Sacramento)

Banana Slug Express (slow, but always on time)

I Often Miss The Dancing Elks (I miss the singing Mule Deer, too, but that’s another post)

The Day Was Bright And Merry

Sweet Hot Robomonkey Love (cos them robomonkeys are studs)

Exploding Yellow Cabbages

As Tasty as A Chocolate Coated Cheerleader (I highly recommend this treat if you ever get the chance to try it)

Maximum Chicken Damage (I used this in a Toon game years ago)

Wall Of Ice Cream (One of the tastier D&D spells)

Heavy Metal Pixies (with teeny tiny guitars and drums)

The Count Of San Francisco

Chrome Plated Tigers

Cone Shell Cabaret (This would be insanely deadly)

Organic Ant Farm (complete with little compost piles)

Powerboosted Sexual Candy (to hell with Viagra)

Clockwork Raccoon Archers (sounds like a furry Steampunk weapon)

Monkey Butter On a Stick (I don’t think I’d try this one)

Big Ol’ Crazy Monsters

Square Snowflakes

Blue Moon Eclipse

The Frisky Kinkajou Dance (cos them kinkajous are frisky little fuckers)

Zebras In The Artwork

The Mutant Whale Army (look out, Japan & Norway)

Synthetic Guppies

Attacked By Demonic Cake (I think I had a dream about this)

Robotic Emus From Mars (Oh, damn those clever Martians)

Daily Vole Report (I’m not sure if this is about voles or for them.)

Power To The Penguins (well, power and herring)

Never Try To Kiss An Angry Ferret (I’m told this is a rather common source of bitten noses and lips)

Beer And Kittens (so cute and fun to hold…and the kittens are ok, too)

Saliva & Salvia (or, for you uneducated dolts, Spit & Sages)

Natural Mail Enhancement (for longer lasting emails)

Canary Carnival

Red Red Swine (not communist pigs)

Purple Pain Pixies (the S&M fey)

Flat Chicken (he didn’t quite get across the road)

Yellow Doom Flowers (Hmmm…something in a dandelion, I suspect)

Green Flamethrower Man (sounds like an old third tier Marvel supervillain)

Smuggling Jugglers

The Dark Knight Returns His Xmas Presents (cos the underwear didn’t fit right)


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