The Synthetic People Will Eat Your Face

…except for Morrie, who prefers feet

My Adventure In Self-Inflicted Wounds

This morning, as I was hurrying to get out the door and off to my dermatologists office for my Tuesday session in the UVB Booth of Doom, I hurried a bit too much while slicing a pig ear chew for the girls. El Knifo slips and Senor Cross loses a fair portion of the tips of his middle and index fingers on the left hand. Much bleeding ensued…so much that I couldn’t (in my now one handed state) get them properly bandaged to stop the bleeding.

Clutching a small towel that is now gaily spotted with crimson blotches, I called Grace to give her the 411 and tell her that I was off to the ER at the hospital about a block from here. The fine folks there got me bandaged and disenfected and, after giving me about the 25th tetanus shot of my life (no exaggerating), they sent me home. I couldn’t go to work, so here I am, bloggin’ in the middle of the day.

I may miss work tomorrow, too, since the doctor said it’d take as long as two days for the wounds to crust over properly. *SIGH* This sucks.

And now, I’m off to walk the girls.

Red Cat Scream

…a neo-blues song

My weekend was, by turns, fun…busy…more fun…tiring…exceptionally stressful…busy…tasty…big fun…busy…restful.

On Sunday, the gaming group (minus Grace who is in Homework Hell) played Settlers of Catan. It was great fun and I won the game in a very close three way race for that 10th victory point.

And now…

Adventure Seed #5: The Hyde Curse
(The link here is Nazis)

After tracking the escaped Major Stiener and his crew through the steaming jungles of Brazil, Doc and company find the trail leads them to Greece and the ancient city of Athens. Things take a turn toiwards the mysterious when they find Stiener in a coma and one of his assistants totally insane. What could cause such a thing and why are terribly beaten bodies popping up all over the city? Could it be related to the thefts of rare gemstones and common seashells? The only clue is a page from a notebook that mentions experiments and the name: Jekyll. Can Doc and his crew stop the murders and solve the mystery, or has an old evil from the past come back to terrorize the modern world?

Wow!

Mini Movie Review: Ghost Rider

You can seldom go wrong with a Nick Cage flick or one where Sam Elliot gets to play a cowboy. This movie has both and is a darned fine popcorn flick. Great special effects and not a bad story, either. It’s not Macbeth, but then, who would expect it to be? Doc says check it out.

And now to work.

Wandering In The Dreamhills

…with Tom Waits and Mark Twain, no less

Yeah, that above is from a totally cool dream I had last night. It also featured: a nubile young lass, very small towns from my youth that no longer resemble small towns, a big ol’ friendly black Lab named Pete, a ’57 Chevy pickup and my mom at age 40 or so.

Doc & Grace Get Busy

No, not that sort of busy:) Today we shall, in order, do the following:

1: Go see Ghost Rider
2: Take the girls to the dog park
3: Bring said girly hounds home and bathe them most thoroughly
4: Go food shopping
5: Attack huge piles of homework (Grace)
6: Attack huge piles of laundry & dishes (Doc)
7: Cook and eat dinner
8: Collapse in front of the telly

More items will surely be added to this list.

Adventure Seed #5 will be posted tonight or tomorrow.

Beware Of Buttsnakes!

…they will bite your hiney

Stuff…Posed Just The Way You Like It

1: In my Dundracon reportage, I failed to mention the Buyer’s Baazar (aka Flea Market). That would be because, by and large, it sucked. It only ran on Saturday (because in recent years the Sunday sessions were drying up fast), it closed doors 2 hours early and the room never once filled up with sellers. I saw nothing I wanted to buy and that’s a first for me. I hope things improve next year.

2: I’ve never talked about this, but Dundracon always falls on or very near the anniversary of my dad’s death back in 1984. Altho I didn’t start regularly attending the con until 1988, it has had a healing effect. Most years, I completely forget about what day it is…which has long since ceased to make me feel any guilt (not that feeling guilt is something I do much anyway). Old Wild Bill would have liked that, himself not being very big on guilt or annual celebrations of dead people.

3: I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tempted to go out and work in the garden, but I have long since learned that this is the time of year when Old Dame Weather just loves to fuck with gardeners and their labors. I shall wait a few more weeks.

4: Heroes was pretty good last night. The long anticipated death (and the murderer) were a surprise. Stan Lee’s cameo was funny and the setup for next weeks episode set the hook nicely in fannish jaws.

5: Bought and drank some goat milk yesterday. Grace and I both agreed that it was almost impossible to tell from cow’s milk. That having been determined, I’m thinking we’ll be adding a milk goat or two to the livestock list when we move out to the country (or as my more urbanly addicted friends call it “run off into the woods”) in a few years.

The girls are giving me that “Yo, Dad, it’s walkies time” look, so I’m outta here. More blogzilla later.

Violent Violet Violins

…say that three times fast

Home Again

I got home from DunDraCon about 4:00 yesterday. We left at about 1:30, after I finally played in a game of Settlers of Catan after all these years. Now that I know how to play it, I’ll have to dig out the copy I bought 2 years ago so I can teach the rest of our gaming group how to play.

Next Con: Conquest Sac in mid-April.

And now I’m off to play a bit of Civilization 3 before heading to work.

Eddie The Gimp’s Last Big Deal

…before he took a powder

An Anvil Fell On My Head

Well, ok, it was an anvil made outta Guinness, but I woke up with my head throbbing all the same. Oh, wither that young lad who could imbibe strong drink until the wee hours?

Played in a Monster Island slugfest last night and got my ass handed to me. Stoopid MechaGodzilla and stoopid low rolling dice!

Wandered around a bit and once again I must give props to the mini/wargamers who build all that wicked cool terrain. My jealousy knows no bounds.

Talked to a few people, including a very nice young lady and her friend who found my tales of the gamer lifestyle to be pretty funny. So funny, in fact, that at one point they had to collapse into nearby chairs to laugh without falling.

Well, it’s about time to start clearing out of the room and then doing a tad more conning before we leave around 2 PM. I’ll write more tonight.

Rowdy Owls

…eatin’ mice and takin’ names

Further Dispatches From The Dorkside

There are a very large number of kids at DunDraCon this year. Most of them see to be preteens and a fair percentage, maybe 25%, are girls. In fact, there are more kids here that I’ve ever seen at this con.

Aside from playing in a Faery’s Tale demo, I’ve yet to play in a game. Might try to find one after dinner.

Bought a lot of dice…$67.00 worth…many were $2.00 each…got some real cool colored ones…a few of these dice will be for My Sweet Angel and a few are for the members of my gaming group who got hosed out of being here.

Hmmm…dinnertime is nearing and I’m craving something spicy. I’m thinking Mexican.

After dinner will come the Guinness and perhaps the gaming…or maybe the bullshitting with gamers while drinking the Guinness…we shall see.

More connish bloggerel later.

The Secret Mouse Invasion

…they want our cheese

Even Hank Aaron Struck Out Once In A While

Well sir, after 18 years of GMing sold out, packed full with extra players Toon games here at DunDraCon, I had my first dud. Well, not a dud really, but a less than usually great game.

Ten people did in fact sign up for the game, but only five showed up and one of them (a rather hyper young lad with a hovering overprotective mother) left before we started. I only had two players from past games (one of my long time players couldn’t make it due to a leg injury) and we did get a couple of drop ins, but the total was still only 8 players and no spectators.

By most peoples standards, I reckon the game was a success. but I’ve become rather spoiled by the S.R.O. crowds. Also, I blame this whole cursed thing on my having to run the game in a room on the right hand side of the hallway that the official game rooms are on. That was only the second time that has ever happened.

But today is a new day and soon, the Flea Market opens:)

Adventure Seed #4: The Green Hell

(Note: The link is the ghostly woman from the last adsventure)

A deadly plague is ravaging Europe and threatening to spread across the rest of the world! Doc Tempest and his Sensational Six, accompanied by the strange and beautiful Asheema the Ghost Woman, must race a group of deranged Nazis into the heart of the Amazon jungle in search of a cure. There, in an ancient lost city, they will encounter prehistoric terrors and man made engines of death. Will Team Tempest succeed? The fate of the world rests in the balance!

Whew! Just writing that got me all excited:)

And now, off for some bargain hunting and joyful geekery!

The Rare And Deadly Turtlesquid Of Potawango Island

…they have poison in their snot

Hello, my little woodland friends. Uncle Doc is taking a break from gathering up all the stuff he’ll be taking to DunDraCon tomorrow. Another hour or two and I’ll be all set to hit the dusty trail to Geek Central tomorrow.

I had done the next piece of the fiction bit, but this laptop had some sort of siezure and lost it, at which point I decided to post it tomorrow or the next day.

I’ll post the results of the adventure seed poll tomorrow.

Ok…enough goofing off for me…more bloggage tomorrow, most like

Shot Through The Heart With .45 Caliber Love

…by the sweetest angel

Well, we have the laptop back up and usable after Grace did a total reformatting. Still don’t have all of my old programs on it, but I’m putting them on slowly but surely.

Finished the latest (as in, months old) Dresden Files novel, “Proven Guilty“. Very good read and even more complexity is added to Harry’s life.

A very good looking Springer Spaniel won the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Yay!

Time for bed now. More blogging tomorrow.

The Wonderful, Yet Mysteriously Haunting Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Pig Who Ate Cheese

…co-starring her pet skunk, George

Here, a couple of days late, we have…

Adventure Seed #3: The Terror In The Fog
(The link here is Sally Smithfield)

When a respected colleague, Professor Smithfield, calls Doc in to help investigate the completely mummified body of a scientist who was alive just that morning, it’s merely the beginning of another rip roaring adventure. What can stop the phantom woman who prowls the late night streets of San Francisco, using what appears to be a living fog to gruesomly kill men of science? Why is the FBI interested in the case, but unwilling to share any details? Before this one is over, Doc will meet his most unearthly foe yet!

I hope y’all enjoyed that. I did.

So, I’m rather pleasantly buzzed on Sierra Nevada Brewing Company’s most excellent porter and I’m feeling like beginning yet another fiction experiment that I’ve been thinking of for awhile. Mind you, I’ve not been thinking of the tale, but of the telling. As in, possibly long story, told in short, stream of conciousness pieces. I hope this doesn’t suck. Also, it may or may not be only partly fiction.

Title to be determined later
by Doc Cross

So there I was, kneeling on the hard packed soil of the Mojave Desert, awaiting a decision to either kill me or let me go. I felt pretty strongly that letting me go was going to win out, but I was as prepared as I could be for the less desirable choice. When I heard the hammer on the revolver click back, my thought was “Shit, that sounded like the loudest sound in the world”. Considering the stillness of the desert night, maybe it was.

More blogging & foolishness later.

The Land Where Kittens Eat Your Flesh And Puppies Drive You Mad

…and you don’t even want to know what the baby bunnies do.

Ok, so Anna Nicole Smith kicked the oxygen habit yesterday. So did alot of other folks who were smarter, more interesting and a hell of alot more likely to do something that might make the world a better place. Do I feel sorry for her infant daughter? Well, yes and no. Yes, in that the poor fuckin’ kid is gonna be a custody football for a whole bunch of greedy cocksuckers. No in that, let’s face it, growing up without a headcase like Anna Nicole Smith for a mother has GOT to be a damned good thing.

As for the diaper wearing cross country driving peppers praying Fatal Attraction astronaut, well, she’s just one seriously fucked up person. I feel worse for NASA than I do for her. Still, I suppose she should get some professional help before trying to return to whatever is left of her family and career, if anything is left after she flushed it down the sewer.

Moving on, we have former preacher and bastion of family values, Ted Haggard, saying that after a mere three weeks of counseling, he has given up his lust for throbbing man meat and is now a right thinking member of the I Love Coochie club. No mention on if he has quit snorting crank before busting his nut. THREE WEEKS to heterosexuality? So, could a group of gay guys “counsel” me into giving up 53 years of shameless (and sometimes rampant) heterosexuality? I’m doubting that…and I know some damn good looking gay men! Maybe it’s just me, but I’m thinking old Ted is still wanking off in the bathroom to pictures of Brad Pitt.

Now ask me again why I like animals more than I like people.

The Five Things That Make Women Crazy

…men, men, men, men & other women

At least, that’s my take on it based upon anecdotal evidence:)

Stuff…just like your mom used to make

1: GenCon prereg starts this Sunday. Unless they have REALLY goosed up their bandwith/computing power, I fully expect their computers to crash early in the day.

2: Dundracon starts a week from tomorrow. I’m beginning to feel the first twinges of geeky antici……………………………..pation.

3: Our dogs have nicknames. Daisy, who is generally aloof, refined and a bit spoiled, is “Princess Daisy”. Winker, who is puppylike, goofy and full of energy is “Winker the Stinker”.

4: I am slowly working through the blockages that have stopped my recent pro writing attempts. I will chain myself to the word processor soon and see what comes of it.

Gotta go now. More blogging soon.

Opal Cats, Ivory Dogs, Jade Snakes

…and itchy fingers

As others have stated, these quizzes are damned accurate.

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle…

Which Sexy Are You?

MY RESULT:Cool Sexy

You keep it real smooth, all James Bond-style. The suave, international hotties will love you.

You’re sophisticated, mature, and you’ve got fairly expensive tastes. (And your personal hygiene? Outstanding.) Just be careful not to get too carried away. Big, bold romantic gestures are sexy and all, but there’s something to be said for sharing a laugh or dancing in the rain. (As long as you’re not wearing any suede.)

Take This Quiz!


Dreamy One Capably Conferring Rapturous Orgasms and Sensual Stimulation


Get Your Sexy Name

And finally, the poll for Adventure Seed #3

I’m outta here.

Dancing On An Event Horizon

…forever

Stuff, darn ya, stuff

1: Grace got the most recent of the Dresden Files novels, Proven Guilty, from the library and I’m reading it. Looks to be another great yarn, from what I’ve seen so far.

2: I had one of my very rare (as in one every 6-7 years) nightmares last night. This one was short and scary and chock full of tentacled Lovecraftian horrors. It woke my soundly sleeping ass right up, you betcha. Then, after a minute or so, I fell back asleep and dreamed of baking doughnuts with Alton Brown and my mom.

3: I’ll post the poll for Adventure Seed #3 this evening.

And now I must work.

Hoozonfurst?

…wutzonsekond!

Man, was that Puppy Bowl ever a nail biter! And could the officiating have sucked just a bit more? I mean, calling Unnecessary Ruff-ness on Jackson, the Golden Retriever(and Rookie of the Year), when it was crystal clear that the real roughness was coming from that big Visla pup who had him pinned down! And where was the so call ref when the water bowl went dry about 7 times? I mean, you could see it every time they cut to the Dish-Cam.

Still, despite poor reffing, it was a good game, with the Kitty Half Time Show being particularly cute this year.

After the game, Grace did some homework while I watched “The Aristocrats” on dvd. I had forgotten how funny most of the film was, especially the mime telling the joke. I’ll be watching the special features and such tonight.

Time for work. More deathless prose and mad babbling later.

Super Nano Warrior Zuki

…the new anime all the kids are talking about

About that big Bowl Game

Grace and I will be watching it. No, no, not the fucking Super Bowl…we hate fuckin’ football…I’m talking about Animal Planet’s third annual Puppy Bowl! Back this year is the Kitty Half Time Show and they have added a Tail Gate Party with real tails!

As far as the players go, my money is on Bess, the All American Mutt and Spencer, the Cairn Terrier…altho Gypsy the English Bulldog looks like he might be a real scrapper.

My beer, salsa and chips are ready for tomorrow and I’ve got snacks ready for the girls.

Football, bah! Give me puppies any day

If You Don’t Grab Life By The Balls, Life Will Grab You By The Throat

…true dat

Well, Grace is at school using the computer lab, the girls are snoozing after a prolonged wrasslin’ match and I’m on my second mug of tea (decaf, after the daily Bigass Mug Of Oolong) and things here at Casa del Basset Hound are perhaps a tad mellower and more lazy than they should be. Soon tho, I shall gird my loins (which, at my age takes about an hour, since loin girding is really a younger person’s game), grab bucket & mop and set forth to do battle with the front bathroom. But not just yet.

Adventure Seed #2: The Unstoppable Army

When daring daylight robberies by seemingly bulletproof men throw Shanghai into a panic, it’s time for Doc Tempest and his team to investigate. But just how do you stop an army of thugs who cannot even be touched? And just who is the beautiful blue skinned woman called Lirra? The trail leads from a hidden island in the Pacific to the ancient deserts of Austraila. Success seems close, until Doc and Sally are captured by a madman whose secret plans lie at the top of the world. Is this the end of Doc and his Sensational Six?

If any of you ever use any of these adventure seeds, let me know.

Damn, it’s taking me a long time to type this entry, no little thanks to having what amounts to a “Songs Make Doc Wanna Dance And/Or Rock Out” mix playing in the background. Here’s an example of just one…

ARTIST: The Marshall Tucker Band
TITLE: Heard It in a Love Song

I ain’t never been with a woman long enough for my boots to get old
But we’ve been together so long now they both need resoled
If I ever settle down, you’d be my kind
And that’s a good time for me to head on down the line

{Refrain}
Heard it in a love song
Heard it in a love song
Heard it in a love song
Can’t be wrong

I’m the kind of man who likes to get away
Like to start dreamin’ ’bout tomorrow today
Never said that I loved you, even though it’s so
Where’s that duffel bag of mine, it’s time to go

{Refrain}

I’m gonna be leavin’ at the break of dawn
Wish you could come but I don’t need no woman taggin’ along
Gonna sneak out that door, couldn’t stand to see you cry
I’d stay another year if I saw teardrops in your eye

{Refrain}

I never had a damn thing, but what I had I had to leave it behind
You’re the hardest thing I ever tried to get off of my mind
Always something greener on the other side of that hill
I was born a wrangler and a rounder and I guess I always will

{Refrain}

And now, a bit o’ the email readin’ and then the loin girdin’.
More blogtacular stuff later.

Pieboy Goes To Castro Street

…and ended his long strange trip

Stuff

1: Adventure Seed #2 will be posted tonight or tomorrow.

2: After slacking off for nearly 2 months, I got back on the treadmill last night. My legs still feel it a bit today.

3: My Sweet Little Tahitian Blue Lory Of Love and I have a weekend ahead of us filled with chores, homework, cooking, cleaning and movie watching. Oh, and let us not forget the dog park duty.

4: I will be looking forward to buying and reading the final Harry Potter book on July 21st.

5: I started three different writing for $$ projects and promptly became stalled on all three. For two of them, I know the reasons why, but I’m damned if I can figure out why the third one has me blocked.

6: I hope y’all have a fine weekend. I’m outta here now.