Taking A Flying Leap Into The Future

…in less than an hour

And now, my most Patient and Loyal Readers, the last Violet episode of 2007.

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On The Road With Violet: An Open Invitation To The Blues

(Director’s Note: The Ogre Brothers will be played, under much makeup, by Lee Marvin (Nick) and Tom Waits (Jake), both at age 40)

I come in last night about half past ten
That baby of mine wouldn’t let me in
So move it on over. Rock it on over
Move over little dog, a mean, old dog is movin’ in

She told me not to mess around
But I done let the deal go down
Move it on over. Rock it on over
Move over nice dog, a big, fat dog is movin’ in

She changed the lock on my back door
Now my key won’t fit no more
Move it on over. Rock it on over
Move over nice dog, a mean, old dog is movin’ in

She threw me out just as pretty as she pleased
Pretty soon I’ve been scratchin’ fleas
Move it on over. Slide it on over
Move over nice dog, a mean, old dog is movin’ in

Yeah! Listen to me dog before you start to whine
That side’s yours and this side’s mine
Move it on over. Rock it on over
Move over little dog, a big, old dog is movin’ in

Move it on over. Move it on over
Move it on over. Won’t’cha rock it on over
Move over cool dog, a hot dog’s movin’ in

The music grows louder as Violet and Verity move towards the source. About halfway through the song, they come to a small island, upon which sets a rather ramshackle house. In front of the house are the Ogre Brothers, one of them playing slide guitar and singing (in a voice that reminds Violet of her Uncle Herbert’s singing voice after the partaking of several large whiskey’s) while the other brother plays a stand up bass. They don’t seem to even notice the two women in the boat as it glides up in front of them. They continue singing and playing until they finish the song, at which point, they finally turn to look at the new feminine arrivals.

Now, Dear Reader, we feel very confident that you, like Violet and Verity, have never actually seen an ogre. That being the case, what follows is a quick description that will, we hope, give you a better mental picture of what Our Heroine sees.

The brothers are tall…every bit of 7 feet. They are also quite muscular, altho a bit paunchy. Their skin has a strong grey-green tinge to it and they have horns on their heads like a rams. Both have long brown hair and big brown eyes. Their facial features are thick and their teeth are big and sharp looking. Both wear blue workman’s shirts and dungarees. Their astoundingly large feet are bare.

After a moment of staring a bit bleary eyed at the ladies, the slightly older appearing of the two says…

“Well well, Jake, look at what just drifted up to our doorstep.”

Jake, the brother who was playing the standup bass, lights a cigar and says…

“Uhh, hello there, ladies. Welcome to our little piece o’ heaven. Say, can either of you play a tenor sax?”

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Mouseburgers

…which are much smaller than Mooseburgers

Good morning, my little elfin pals. I was all prepped to do a Violet post, but had some modem problems. Now, alas, I have not enough time. Fear not though, for I shall post Violet’s next installment tonight…hopefully before the Guinness makes me too goofy:)

I may or may not have the first of my annual Subjectivity posts up tomorrow. Depends upon how much of the aforementioned Guinness I quaff tonight. At any rate, this years review of my subject lines looks to be about the longest yet.

And now, off to work.

Mrs. Wangdoodle Gets A Job As A Fluff Girl

…and goes on to stardom

We interrupt our recent session of not being able to focus on our LJ, in order to bring you a recounting of our recent dream.

In the dream, which took place about 4:00 this morning, I was at a large convention center in Palm Springs, California. It seems that Steve Jackson Games had decided to do a “British Geekery” line of GURPS books and I was one of the many game writers who would be working on them. The two main books were “GURPS Monty Python” and “GURPS Doctor Who”.

The convention center was crowded with both game writers and cast members from the two aforementioned series, plus people from other series, such as Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan from “The Goon Show” and Rowan Atkinson from “Blackadder”.

Bits of the dream that I recall most clearly…

Sitting on a veranda drinking wine with Robin Laws, John Cleese, Graham Chapman and Tom Baker, while discussing the sad state of sketch comedy on American television.

Asking John Kovalic if I looked as much like a gooby fanboy as he did, then both of us laughing.

Sitting at a writing session with Terry Jones, Michael Palin and a bunch of game writers, trying to come up with a Monty Python dungeon crawl. We were all roaring drunk.

All in all, it was quite a cool and fanboyish dream.

Frogdog Bloglog

…in the smogfog

Dang, I’m having just a bitch of a time getting back into my regular blogging mode. Must be the holiday season.

Anyway, I swear to Dog that I’ll have a Violet post soon. Maybe tonight. In the mean time, here’s a quick Doc Update.

READING: Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
WATCHING: The Prestige, The Transporter and The Bourne Ultimatum
WRITING: Very little
EATING: Spaghetti with Three Meat Sauce
LAUGHING AT: The Girls and their Extreme Basset Wrestling exploits
PLAYING: The recently title revealed “The Return of Magic” series (more info later)
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Dundracon and “Cloverfield”

More bloggage later.

I Did My Xmas Shopping In Knockturn Alley

…they had great sales

MERRY HAPPY!!! HAPPY MERRY!!!

Ok, so last night was the Annual Family Xmas Get Together And Gift Exchange. Lots of folks there…my mom, sis and brother in law, brother and sis in law, both my nephews (Zach & Chris), my niece Molly and her husband and a bunch of other people. There was, as is the Cross family tradition, enough food to feed a small African nation for a year. Everyone ate until we were very near critical mass.

There was beer and other libations, too, and I partook lustily of the Samuel Adams Lager. How nice it is to have a teetotaler for a wife:)

At the gift exchange, I gave my nephew Chris a $25.00 (the price limit for gifts this year) gift card for Best Buy. Molly (whose house this shindig was held at) gave me three bandanas, a box of chocolates and a box of sausages/crackers/mustards. Yum Yum!

All in all, a good time was had. Then Grace and I came home and slept long and late (for us). Today will be all about watching movies and the U.S. vs Norway curling match from Sunday.

More blogging, including a Violet entry, soon.

The Ten Blue Budgies Escape From Prison

…using shoelaces, a can of creamed corn and a newt

Pets Are Screwy

I have owned many pets in my life. Dogs, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs, dwarf rabbits, rats, mice and a plethora of other species. I have known even more pets that belonged to family and friends. One thing I’ve learned about pets, at least the mammalian ones, is that they are screwy. Goofy. Nutty. Wacky.

Some examples:

My dog, Winker, will flop down on the floor and, after a minute or so, begin to moan and whine at a near inaudible level. After a couple of minutes, the whining gets louder. At about the 4 minute mark, she jumps up and starts growling and woofing at stuff nobody else can see. There’s nothing wrong with her physically, she’s just screwy.

A friend had a cat named Gus. Gus would climb up on something, ranging from a footstool to the top of a high bookshelf, and lie down. Ok, pretty normal catlike behavior…except that he would then begin to lick himself…moving a bit closer to the edge with each lick…until he invariably fell off. I reckon in his long (like, 18 years) life, he must have fallen off stuff a thousand times.

Another friend had a cat that would suddenly leap up from a sound sleep, stare at a spot a few inches in front of it, yowl loudly and then run like hell for the opposite end of the room…where it would promptly fall back to sleep.

My pet rabbit, Mr. Bunny Rabbit, who shared my apartment (with Pig Pig the guinea pig, Gandalf the parrot and Larry, Moe and Curly the hamsters) back in the late 70’s, would sometimes run full tilt around his large pen. After 5 or 6 laps, he would stop, catch his breath, then attempt to have vigorous sex with his red rubber ball.

My cousin used to have a large dog that would fall asleep with his head buried under a pile of dirty laundry. This same dog would also spend the better part of an hour trying to curl up and sleep in a cat bed that was about 5 sizes too small for him.

So, if you own a pet, what screwy things do they do?

The 17 Ways To Make Cosmic Cookies

…and Santa thought he was flying before he ate ’em

Ho ho fucking ho! Once again, an Xmas weekend is upon us. Here, for no other reason than to fill up a blog entry and maybe entertain you, is Uncle Doc’s schedule.

Friday Night: Cook dinner for My Sweet Little Albino Grey Squirrel Of Love…have weekly financial meeting with aforementioned sweetheart…relax…play with The Girls…sleep

Saturday: Brekky…dog park adventure…buy My Sweet Little Blueberry Muffin With Butter And A Hot Mug Of Cocoa With Marshmallows Of Cuteness (hmmm…that might be the longest one ever) a secret Xmas Gift (despite is both saying “no gifts this year”) (because, ya know, that’s the kinda guy I am)…housecleaning for Game Day on Sunday…watch whatever flicks we get from Netflix…dinner in some form…goof off…sleep

Sunday: Brekky out, not in…tidy house up…Game Day…rest…dinner (I’m thinking something of a pork nature)…goof off…sleep

Monday (Xmas Eve): work until 1 or 2 (for both of us)…wash dogs in preperation for the Big Familly Xmas Eve Gathering…give Grace her present…get all gussied up for aforementioned BFXEG…drive up to Marysville and attend BFXEG at my niece Molly’s house…come home (with Grace driving due to my inevitable Guinness intake)…sleep

Tuesday (Xmas): Sleep in late…goof off…eat…sleep

And there ya have it.

Merry/Happy/Joyous/Whatever (insert your chosen holiday here)!