Return Of The Red Metal Baby Toy

…and all along we thought it was dead

Behold! At long last, another Violet episode!


On The Road With Violet: In Which A Stealthy Approach Is Used And A Pig Is Underestimated

Under cover of the night, our band of brave rescuers slips out of the marsh and onto the fairly well cleaned up outskirts of the village.

“Right then, we all know what to do”, whispers Violet, “so, let’s get on with it. Good luck.”

With that, Violet and Ranger (for that was the Irish Setter’s name) set out for the Mayor’s house. Meanwhile, Lavender and Verity set off to free the prisoners while Jake and Nick go to deal with the guards set up around the turtle.

The pirates, according to Lavender, were still mostly laying low outside of town. With any luck, Our Heroes hope to be in the turtle and creeping up on the pirate ship before dawn.

The Mayor’s house is dark as Violet and Ranger approach it. As they wind through the rather extensive garden, Violet notices a light coming from a basement window. Moving closer, they stop behind a small juniper bush and try to get a look inside. After a moment, they see the mayor and another man step into view. They seem to be carrying a large metal object between them.

“That’s it, Ranger”, she tells the dog in hushed tones.

“Woof, woof”, he quietly replies.

“I’ve no idea”, says Violet, “but it must be something worth working on in secret late at night. Considering what a wanker that mayor is, it could well be some infernal machine.”

Ranger thinks for a moment and then says, “Ruff, woof, grrr.”

Violet nods. “I can see your point, mate. I reckon they’re all infernal machines to you.”

In the basement, it looks as though the mayor and his companion are attaching cables to the device they were carrying. Suddenly, many lights of different colors come on all over the basement and a low hum fills the air.

Meanwhile, across the village, Verity and Lavender have reached the building where Sir Rupert, Nigel and Hercules are being held. Two large men armed with shotguns are guarding the front door.

“So, Lavender, it looks like you are on”, Verity says, nodding towards the guards.

“Grunt, oink, grunt.”

Verity, who does not speak Swinish as well as Violet does, is pretty sure that Lavender has just told her she will hit them with a melon. However, before she can ask for clarification, Lavender trots off towards the guards.

Seeing the pig coming towards them, the guards (who are, if the truth be known, bored silly) begin making comments about her.

“Oi, Denny, it’s that pig again, the one what’s been wandering around for the last week”, says the guard with the big nose.

Looking at the young porker, Denny says, “I’ve been wondering where she got off to. Didn’t see her about all day today. Probably went off to sleep in the mud.”

The big nosed guard (whose name is Alf) chuckles.

“I expect she did just that. Filthy creatures, pigs. Stupid, too.”

As they laugh, Lavender begins to run around in a circle. Soon, she is running very fast.

“Would ya look at that. Bloody thing has gone off it’s nut”, Alf says.

After a few seconds, Lavender stops running, falls over on her side and, after some dramatic squealing and thrashing about, stops moving.

“Well would ya look at that”, says Denny, “she’s done keeled over dead.”

Stepping forward, Denny bends down to get a closer look. After poking Lavender with his finger, he is about to pronounce her dead when, suddenly, the young sow leaps to her feet and bites him square in the crotch.

Giving forth a high pitched scream that would do any young girl proud, Denny drops his gun and begins trying to pry the pigs jaws loose. Behind him, Alf sets his gun aside and picks up a rock.

“Hang on there, Denny, I’ll get her off ya with…” His sentence is cut short as he falls face first to the ground.

“…a rock to the head?”, Verity says from behind him, hefting her own rock.

Seeing that Verity has done her part, Lavender lets go of Denny’s family jewels. Denny falls over on his side and curls into a fetal position, gasping for air and crying.

After taking the keys off Alf, Verity opens the door to the jail and within minutes, has the boys free of their confinement. A bit of introduction is done and then Hercules and Sir Rupert set off for the turtle, while Verity, Nigel and Lavender head out to lend Violet and Ranger a hand.

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