Zero Cool Polar Bears

…are there any other kind?

Doc’s Weekend Update

Well, it was a pretty mellow weekend, all things considered. Saturday was pretty much all taking The Girls to the dog park, then me going to see “Cloverfield” (which Grace had no interest in seeing), and then some gardening…or rather, attempted gardening.

See, when I went out to the garden about 3 PM. I had some raking and cleaning up in mind. Instead, I spent most of two hours answering questions from passersby (our street being a popular one for dog/kid walking).

First up was a woman in her late 60’s who, along with her 30 something daughter, was walking a very nice looking Golden Retriever. As many folks walking by do, they complimented me on the garden. Then came the questions. Lots of questions. For about 20 minutes.

After they walked away, I raked for about 10 minutes before a young guy and his wife came by and got me started on the subjects of “No lawns” and “urban/suburban veggie gardening”. Now, I had met this young (late 20’s) couple about two years ago when they stopped by. I recalled as how the husband had been particularly into replacing their traditional lawn with a garden. Well, apparently, he did just that last year. In fact, as he told me with the fervor of the recently converted, he now had a dwarf fruit tree orchard in his side yard and a veggie garden/bee & bird garden in the front yard. His wife informed me that their back yard, tho being mostly reserved for their two dogs, was soon to be home to a small chicken coop that would house 3-4 hens. Pretty cool stuff and it ate up nearly 40 minutes of my gardening time.

Finally, a group of kids came by and wanted to know all sorts of things: when would my flowers bloom again, would I be growing more veggies, what kind of bush was that, etc, etc. And by then it was 5:00 and time to go inside and start cookin’ dinner.

Sunday was all about Game Day and the Grand Finale to our “The Return of Magic” series. Everything went well and all things magical are now slowly returning to the world. Next time, we’ll do a one off Paranoia session, then switchj over to boardgames for a month or two. What sort of RPGing we’ll be doing come May is still to be determined.

Oh, yeah, I also spent Saturday and Sunday nights watching all 12 episodes (234 minutes running time) of Flash Gordon Conquers The Universe, a bit of serial goodness from 1940. It was fun.

And now, I’m off to work. More blogging tonight.


The 47 Things You Should Never Touch With Your Tongue

…#5: Fire

Cloverfield Review

Just got back from seeing this new giant monster movie. It was not bad, but it was sure as hell not great. The first 10-15 minutes, which are used to establish various relationships between a bunch of 20 something New York urbanites, could easily have been cut to maybe 5 minutes. And speaking of those same 20 somethings, you never really find yourself giving a rat’s ass whether they live or die. I mean, the fuckers were too dumb to even grab a hunk of pipe to carry as a weapon.

The “story told from a video camera that was found by the government” style was interesting enough, tho it is not terribly original. The whole shakey cam effect was, while realistic, rather annoying. I can see why some folks would get motion sickness. Personally, my youthful propensity to get motion sick was burned out of me when I was stationed on a US Navy destroyer that chased a Russian sub into the stormy seas of the Gulf of Alaska.

The Monster was quite cool, as were it’s parasites. Naturally, you have to suspend several layers of disbelief (giant monsters are always WAY to damage resistant and those that rise up from the ocean depths never seem to suffer from explosive decompression), but if you are a giant monster fan, this is easy. Watching the Big Apple get trashed was also cool, but next time, let’s have a monster trash Miami or Chicago or Seattle or some other big city, ok?

Anyway, it was a pretty decent flick. I might watch it again when it hits DVD, since I’ll be able to fast forward past the pinheaded 20 somethings.

Bonus Micro Review

Jaded old fart that I am, the teaser trailer for Star Trek still made me break out in goosebumps. I can hardly wait for Xmas.

The Most Dangerous Baby Duck In The World

…but he’s sooooo cuuuute

Not much to report from Dr. Cross’ Luxury Spa For Spoiled Basset Hounds. I have, after far too long, gotten back into using the treadmill. So far, I’m up to two 15 minute sessions a day, but I add a minute or two every day, so by my birthday (the 29th) I should be pretty near a half hour per session. Of course, I still go an a 1-2 mile walk with Daisy every night, but what with us stopping every 15 feet for her to either sniff something or pee, it’s not exactly hardcore walking.

DunDraCon is about a month away, so once again I encourage any of you gamer types who might be considering some Presidents Day weekend con going to attend it. And if you do go, look me up and say hello.

Since we’ve had a full week of no rain, it’s looking like a dog park going/gardening/housecleaning kind of weekend here. With a couple of hours alotted for movie going, natch.

Gotta go. More bloggage later.

The Last Lap Dance Of Candy The Cat

…no, she wasn’t a real feline

Television Note

Next Monday, the History Channel is going to show a 2 hour program called “Life After Us”. The basic premise is what would happen to all of the human artifacts if we all disappeared from the planet. It looks to be a pretty fascinating show. I’m not sure, but I think the Discovery Channel might also show it.

Violet Note

Hopefully, I’ll have a rather lengthy Violet post up tonight. It’s looking to be 99% exposition and appears to be getting longer as I write it. Oh, and you’ll get to vote at the end of it, I promise.

Movie Note

Cloverfield hits movie screens this Friday and you can bet I’ll have my ass in a movie seat watching it on Saturday afternoon. I love giant monster movies.

Gaming Question

Every so often, when discussing D&D, someone says that if WOTC/D&D were to fold, the gaming hobby would be in huge trouble (and, often, it is implied that the whole adventure gaming industry would just dry up and blow away).

My question is: Why would anyone think this?

Did rock & roll implode after the Beatles broke up/Buddy Holly died/Elvis Died/The Ramones began dying? Nope. Did television collapse after (insert name of hugely popular series of your choice) went off the air? Nope. Did the deaths of any number of great actors and directors kill off motion pictures. Nope.

So why would the collapse of WOTC or the disappearence of D&D kill off adventure gaming? There would still be older versions of D&D, as well as the hundreds of other RPG’s out there. Gaming life would go on…and possibly for the better, tho that’s a topic for another day.

You may let fly your thoughts on this.

The Monkey Who Won The Lottery

…he bought like, $2,000,000.00 worth of bananas

Jeez, my writing impulses really got a beatdown by my S.A.D. these past couple of days. Getting a hefty beer buzz on Friday night didn’t help, either. Ah well, the sun came out today and I’m feeling pretty good.

Daisy and the Game that was Afoot

We took The Girls for a walk in a local park and, as I was walking along with Daisy, a big old jackrabbit jumped up and took off across the park…and so did Daisy! It’s a good thing I had a tight hold on her leash, because she was trying like hell to fullfill the duties of her ancient Basset Hound ancestry. She wanted that jackrabbit bad and I’m sure that if she’s gotten loose from me, she’d have followed that wily lagomorph into the jaws of hell.

As it was, I ran with her until I was about two steps away from a coronary event. At that point, I pulled her up short and, as she strained on the leash, tried to remember how to breath. Once I was pretty sure I wasn’t gonna die, I told her she was a good girl and she had sure shown that ol’ rabbit who was boss. That seemed to please her.

Then, Grace and Winker (who showed no sign that she had either seen or smelled the rabbit), caught up with us and we all walked to the car and drove home. Once we got back, we all rested. No doubt, Daisy dreamed of chasing that rabbit, unfettered by a fat old dad holding her leash.

More Gardening Adventures

I spent a couple of hours in the garden today, weeding and pruning. If the weather holds and we don’t get any heavy rain by next Saturday, I’ll be doing one of my all day gardening marathons. I’ve got to lay down black plastic to solarize out some of the weeds, divide up some perrenials (mostly, daylillies and cannas), dig up and transplant all the plants in the area that will become a dog yard (an area about 12X14 feet, right in front of our front window), do more pruning and haul about a ton of plant cuttings into the back yard so I can start Compost Pile Charlie Delta 7. By the end of the day, my ass will be kicked.

Time for walking my Canine American daughters. More bloggage later.

Mr. Porkwaffle Goes To The Disco

…and dances the night away

Damn…I got a shitty night’s sleep on Wednesday, so last night I was too tired and fuzzy minded to do another post. I’ll try to crank out another Violet post tonight.

Short Doc Oriented Lists

Ok, gang, here are a bunch of short lists about stuff concerning me. Feel free to use this idea for similar lists about you.

Five spices/herbs I love


Three goofy things I do

speak in voices/accents other than my own
talk to animals
make my own vocal sound effects (or, as Grace calls them “danger noises”)

Seven relatives that don’t piss me off

niece #1
niece #2
nephew #1
nephew #2

Five foods I cannot stand

fried chicken
coffee (ok, so it’s really a beverage)

Three favorite curse words


Six favorite years


Four favorite candies

a bar of dark chocolate
plain m&m’s
chocolate covered raisins
buttered popcorn flavor jelly bellies

Three great things about being male

you can piss in more places
you can scratch any itch in public
no menstrual cycle

Six great things about being me

total madness
ability to make people gasp in shock or laugh out loud, with equal ease
nonstop imagination
unencumbered by the effects of organized (or even unorganized) religion
adaptable morality
ability to get along with women