Doc Tempest And The Monster On The Moon

…from the September, 1999 issue

A Short Note To All Public Figures

Dear Rich & Powerful Men & Women,

Please read the following several times, take it to heart, then go on with your lives.

THERE IS NO SEX OF ANY KIND WORTH THOUSANDS, OR EVEN HUNDREDS, OF DOLLARS A POP!

None! Nobody’s genitalia or bodily orifices are that good. God himself could not offer a piece of ass worth a grand! I don’t care if the object of your lust is so good they can suck a cock through the mail, they ain’t worth the big bucks. You are insane to pay that much for sex.

Thank you for listening,

Doc

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3 comments on “Doc Tempest And The Monster On The Moon

  1. delazan says:

    A man once asked a woman at a party if she’d have sex with him for a million dollars.
    “Sure.” she said.
    “How about ten dollars?” he asked.
    “What kind of woman do you think I am?”
    “We’ve already established that; now we’re just haggling over price.”
    (not original to me)
    -L.

  2. flwyd says:

    I don’t know how it shakes down on the invoice, but a major chunk of the grand goes for privacy and discretion, not sex. If a governor paid $75 to a street hooker, she’d have a lot to gain by blackmailing him or selling her story to the tabloids. But operations that charge a couple grand have a lot more to lose if they let slip the names of their clientèle.
    Not that the privacy price makes it a good idea, just pointing out that there are multiple services on the bill.

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