…from the September, 1999 issue
A Short Note To All Public Figures
Dear Rich & Powerful Men & Women,
Please read the following several times, take it to heart, then go on with your lives.
THERE IS NO SEX OF ANY KIND WORTH THOUSANDS, OR EVEN HUNDREDS, OF DOLLARS A POP!
None! Nobody’s genitalia or bodily orifices are that good. God himself could not offer a piece of ass worth a grand! I don’t care if the object of your lust is so good they can suck a cock through the mail, they ain’t worth the big bucks. You are insane to pay that much for sex.
Thank you for listening,