Big Blue Chickens With Swords

…no doubt, they are already in a monster manual somewhere

My Wild & Misspent Youth

Sometime in the late 1970’s…

Noon, Sunday, her apartment: “I’d better head home now. You’ve got to study for tomorrow’s finals and I need to go feed the zoo crew.”

“Yeah”, she said, “I’ve got two finals tomorrow, one on Tuesday, one on Wednesday and two on Thursday. What about you?”

I pulled on my pants and replied, “Two every day, Monday thru Wednesday, then I’m done.”

She got up to give me a goodbye kiss. I seriously considered staying another hour, but Mr. Bunny Rabbit and Pig Pig were probably near to enciting the others to a rebellion. I was almost to the door when one of my famous brainstorms hit.

“Have you ever been to Hawaii?”, I asked.

She gave me a puzzled look. “No, I haven’t. What prompted that?”

I grinned at her. “Oh, just a stray thought. See you later.”

1:00 pm, Thursday, my apartment: “Jesus, am I glad to be done with school! I’ll never take another early class again”

I handed her a glass of iced tea and chuckled. “Early classes are a common freshman mistake. I made it my first semester.”

I sat down in my chair and gave Gandalf a peanut. He told me he was a silly bird, but didn’t try to bite my finger.

I gave her a moment to chug some tea, then laid out my plans for the two of us.

“I think you’d better call your sister and let her know that you’ll be gone for a week, then we’ll get cleaned up and dressed for an early dinner before our flight leaves.”

Her eyes got really wide. “What flight? To where? what the hell are you up to?”

“Why, taking you to Hawaii, my dear. Tonight. 7:00 out of Sacramento International.”

“You’re serious!”

“As a heart attack. I’m sure you’ll enjoy Hawaii. We’ll be staying at the Hilton Waikiki.”

“Oh my god…you are insane.” She laughed. “I’ll need to go pack.”

I shook my head. “No need. We’ll buy clothes and other stuff there.”

Now she was really boggled. “Oh hell no…it will cost too much.”

I got up and started peeling off my shirt. “Don’t worry. I’ve got plenty of cash. Now, let’s go shower. Frank and Cassidy will be here in about an hour to housesit while I’m gone.”

And then we were off to the shower, her telling me how crazy I was the whole way.

(Interesting Side Note: In 197-, a mere $50.00 bribe would cause a flight attendant in first class to turn a blind eye to a couple joining the Mile High Club (well, her actually. I had joined 4 years earlier.)

A week later, back at my place: “That was the best vacation I’ve ever had! And you are still insane.”

I sat in my chair giving Pig Pig a scratch. “Yeah, it’s a genetic thing. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I had fun.”

She smiled a naughty girl smile and reclined on the couch. “Speaking of having fun…”

Spontaneous vacations: an investment in your sexual future.

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2 comments on “Big Blue Chickens With Swords

  1. unclelumpy says:

    Sounds more like wild and misspent FUNDS, to me.
    Ah well, like my father always says, when he dies he wants his tombstone to read:
    He had no change coming

    • Doc Cross says:

      You have no idea how much funds I misspent that year. Something over 70 grand, with not a thing to show for it except lots of fun, lots of great food, lots of booze, lots of travel, lots of women and lots of general hedonism. Oh, and a couple of monetary gifts to friends and family members.

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