They Arrived Just In Time For The Monkfish Festival

…and stayed until after the big Dung Fair

Oy, I haven’t been Mr. post-O-matic lately, have I? Well, here is some new stuff, in the form of Open Letters.

Dear Fall,

I know you’re feeling a bit put out with me, seeing as how in the past I’ve let my bitter hatred of Winter taint our relationship. I’m sorry about that. You’re not all that bad, really. After all, now that you are here, I can grow spinach again, as well as other tasty veggies. I can take Daisy on long walks during the middle of the day without worrying about her suffering from the heat. You start killing off some of my Hated Enemy, the Weeds, and you chase away many bad bugs.

All told, you’re OK, Fall. Pity you can’t just segue straight into Spring.

Best wishes for unseasonable warmth,

Doc

Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney,

Just a reminder that I want to see you two impeached, tried and sent to jail for the rest of your miserable fucking lives.

Hoping you get cancer,

A Proud Liberal Veteran

Dear Mr. Obama,

Seeing as how your first debate with McCain is coming up, I just thought I’d give you a few suggestions.

1: Hammer the shit out of him on his past voting record regarding the armed forces and veterans.
2: Keep reminding everyone that he (via his wife’s millions) is a rich elitist out of touch old fart.
3: Try to get him to lose his temper. This would serve the dual purpose of having him do your work for you, plus supplying a comedy goldmine for late night/Comedy Central talk show hosts. Bonus points (and bonus votes) if you can get him mad enough to call you “nigger”, “coon” or “boy”.
4: Have a “slip of the tongue” once or twice and call him “Mr. Bush”.
5: Use his piss poor understanding of the economy to bitchslap him all over that stage.
6: Do everything you can to reinforce the reasons many Republicans won’t be voting for him. Mostly, this should involve praising him for all of those times he’s sided with the Democrats.

Wishing you the best of luck,

One of your supporters

More Bloggage Later

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One comment on “They Arrived Just In Time For The Monkfish Festival

  1. em_gumby says:

    Obama really does need to start pounding on McCain. I understand that he wants to take the high road, to raise the level of political discourse, all that stuff. But that double digit lead is gone – this is a knife fight now. And if Obama doesn’t start stabbing McCain in the heart RIGHT FUCKING NOW then come election time McCain has a better than even chance of killing him at the polls. And if Obama goes down then a whole lot of Americans are going to die in the upcoming four years of the Palin-McCain administration.

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