Putting Mayonaise On A Cow Is Just Plain Wrong

…even if the cow enjoyed it

Last night, My sweet angel and I watched The Incredible Hulk, which we did not see in the theater. Verdict? Better in every way than the Ang Lee effort…with one exception: we both preferred the look of the Hulk in Lee’s version. Other than that, this version was fine comic book movie fare.

And now, it’s time for the next Brewerton Village Poll

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The Incredible Adventure Of Doctor Tempest Versus The Cat Creature

…from the November 1902 edition

The Third Brewerton Poll is closed and I will use the info in my final description of the village, which is still a couple of polls away. In the meantime, another poll will be up in a day or so.

My attempts (three of them!) to write the “Stolen Cop Car” story by using Lolcat speak have proven fruitless. Instead, I shall tell it in another style. But not in this post.

Apparently there is much agonizing going on by fanboys (yeah, like that doesn’t happen every fucking day in some area of fandom) about unfounded reports that the ending for Watchmen will not be the same as in the graphic novel. I hope it’s not true, but either way, we are now stuck with yet another crop of whining, bitching, moaning, crying gits until the day the movie finally premieres. Of course, even then, there will be some who bitch about it, even if it follows the book exactly.

And that leads me into the following rant…

There are few feelings that so conflict me as the ones I get when fans go bugfuck over…well, whatever. On the one hand, I have hung out with a great many comics/games/sci-fi/fantasy/music/movie/tv/etc. fans of both sexes and I really like most of them. On the other hand, the constant wailing and gnashing of teeth over things great or small, real or imagined, by some of them makes me want to choke them into merciful silence. It’s damned annoying.

What really annoys me, though, is not that they shit themselves when they find out that X actor is going to play Y character…or that, Dog forbid, the movie version of a book turns out differently than the written version…or that adventure #234 for their favorite RPG is not what they expected/wanted…or that author A started a new series when they wanted book #15 of The Neverending Trilogy…or that game/movie/videogame/music/tv/publishing company doesn’t give them EVERYTHING EXACTLY AS THEY WANT RIGHT NOW FOR FREE…no, what really bugs the fuck out of me is that, ultimately, they are all fucking hypocrites.

Case in point: Years and years ago…about a week after D&D3E was announced…there was brisk discussion on the old AOL gaming forums about what the game might be like and such. As time went on, the fanboys grabbed hold of every little fact and rumor about D&D3E and, as fanboys are wont to do, started pulling “facts” out of their asses. D&D was gonna be great…it was gonna blow…it would be streamlined for better roleplaying…it would become more bloated…it would be the same…it would be different.

When more facts came out and we got a clearer idea of where D&D was going, a whole mess of geeks went ballistic. Never, they swore, would they play this new abomination that was solely designed to viciously bugger their childhood RPG memories. No, no, a thousand times no, they would not buy D&D3E. The game was dead to them.

And then it came out and they bought it and 4,386 supplements/sourcebooks/adventures/monster manuals for it. They wrote lavish reviews, clogged the intertubes with game writeups and, in more than a couple of cases, climbed on the D20/OGL train and started their own game companies. Way to stand by your principles, whiners.

But it isn’t just those game geeks, it’s really all aspects of fandom…

“Dude, I fucking HATE what they did to Lord Of the Rings!” A year later, he’s first in line to buy the special edition DVD.

“Bigass Video Game Company lost my business when they didn’t make XWiistation 2 backward compatible” A month later, he’s playing the fuck outta MarioHalo Theft 4…on the system he hated.

“I can no longer respect an author who would depict Vulcans dressed in winter clothing while attending the big Pointed Ear Festival, cos it’s held in the summer!” But then she busts her ass to get said author to sign his latest Trek novel.

“George Lucas raped, murdered, beheaded and then cannabalized my childhood!” A year later, their dicks are hard at the mere mention of a Star Wars television series.

It goes on and on. Don’t even get me started on the Trekkies or the Whovians. It all puts a terrible strain on my already strained attempt to put my violent youth behind me. I mean, hypocrisy is a very human thing. It’s what sets us apart from the animals. But the whineyass way that fandom goes about it just sucks ass.

No, I don’t have any suggestions on how to solve this. I was just whining.

Scarlet Dreams

…on a sleepless night

Ok, so maybe the shit that needs fixing around here will have to wait until Our Adventure In Poverty comes to an end.

Time to switch to Plan B: Go buy groceries, then mess around in the garden before commencing the househusbandry.

But first, the Significant Other Meme (ganked from delazan)

1. They are watching TV. What are they watching? One of the CSI variants, Fringe, Bones or maybe Supernatural
2. You’re out to eat. What kind of dressing do they get on their salad? Italian
3. What’s one food this person doesn’t like? What’s one food this person could not live without? Peas/Chicken
4. You go out to the bar. He/she orders… In the 13 years we have been together, she has consumed alcohol 5 times. Each time, it was a whiskey sour.
5. Where did he/she go to high school? Mostly, in Modesto, CA
6. What size shoe do they wear? Beats the hell outta me, but compared to my size 12EEEE’s, they’re pretty small.
7. If this person were to collect anything, it would be… books, you betcha!
8. What is their favorite type of sandwich? Prime rib from our local Jewish deli
9. This person could eat ______ everyday. Pie
10. Favorite cereal? Honey Bunches of Oats with Strawberries or Cocoa Pebbles
11. This person wouldn’t be caught dead wearing? Jewelry or sports related stuff
12. Favorite sports team? Like me, she hates pro sports, but she does really like Olympic gymnastics
13. Who will he/she vote for? Despite being a Green Party member, she’s voting for Obama
14. What is their sign? Leo
15. What is something you do that he/she wishes you didn’t? Talk so loudly/make “danger noises”
16. How many states has this person lived in? Four
17. What is his/her heritage? Predominantly German, Irish & English.
18. You bake them a cake for their birthday. What kind do you bake? Cheesecake
19. Did he/she play sports in high school? No
20. This person could spend hours… Discussing alternative medicine.
21. He/She wants a new… Computer
22. The CD I would probably find in their vehicle is… Something by ABBA, or maybe some Celtic music collection
23. What can you do that will guarantee a laugh from him/her? Too many things to list
24. Does he/she get along well with their family? Absolutely not. She disowned them years ago.
25. If money wasn’t an option, I would buy him/her… Everything she’s ever wanted…and pie.

It’s All Fun And Games Until Somebody Gets Buggered By A Mutant Echidna

…like, OW!

Just A Big Ol’ Bunch O’ Stuff

1: Watched the debate…decided that, besides being an out of touch old motherfucker, McCain has something wrong with him, possibly of a neurological order.

2: I’ve been thinking a lot about the basic premise of City of Ember and I’m damned if it couldn’t be ported over to a post apocalyptic steampunk setting (which C of E is, kinda) and make a wicked cool RPG series. Possibly for my alternate RPG group, the Cannibal Pygmies. Let’s see…a huge dome instead of an underground lair…lots of steampunkery, but resources are running out…and the dome is starting to decay…hmmm.

3: My plan for dealing with the coming economic depression and the collapse of Civilization As We Know It (don’t I wish), assuming I can find a fucking job, is to get Grace and I out from under a couple of crushing debts, then do what I can gardenwise to lower our food costs. And yes, that includes a couple of chickens and ducks. As for money making, I have some small options (all legal, Ms. C:)that won’t bring in a lot of $$, but will help out. Fortunately, Grace and I no longer have credit cards, so that blight on society is not something that can bite us.

4: I’m about 10 stories in on The World of Jeeves and I’m really enjoying me some Wodehouse. I first read some of these stories (along with a couple about Psmith) at my Aunt Pearl’s house when I was about 12 or 13. I liked them back then, but I’m understanding the nuances and lingo much more than I did as a young chappie.

5: The Brewerton Village Poll #3 is going along nicely and I urge y’all who have not taken it to do so. I’m pretty sure smuggling of one sort or another will be running rampant in our village after this poll. And is it just me, or does robin_d_laws name for the town drunk sound like something George Lucas would create for Star Wars?

6: Today is, after I walk my Faithful Hounds to the park, “Mr. Fix It Day” for me. I’m going to putter about the old homestead fixing small, inexpensive, problems. Later, I’ll morph into “Doc Cross, Househusband” and wash up some dishes, do some laundry and cook up some dinner. After that, I’m gonna watch my latest Netflix offering The Giant Behemoth. No doubt with a certain one eyed dog on my lap.

And now, I’m off to entertain my canine kids.

A Child’s Book Of Very Squishy Things

…with special extra squishy cover padding

Village Poll #3

But first, some facts about our village…

1: The village name is Brewerton, due to the fact that it is a near perfect place to brew beer. Additionally, the native yeasts make it a darned fine place to be a baker, too.

2: The Mayor, one Aelfric, is very popular and keeps the town prosperous and free of crime. This is because it is his home base for a kingdomwide organized crime cartel. Yes, indeed, he is a Napoleon of Crime in the Moriarty tradition.

3: Being quite a racially diverse place, Brewerton welcomes humanoids and sentient non-humanoids of all types.

4: Being as how many of the folks in our village enjoy inventing new things and processes, it will come as no surprise that Brewerton is the place to go to find new types of beer, insanely delicious new pastries, wonderful cheeses found nowhere else and cutting edge Master Criminal Plans.

And now, here’s the new poll, open to villagers and non-villagers alike.

Chapter 432: In Which Our Hero Wrestles The Devil, Greases A Pig And Rescues Young Lucy From Ninjas

…all while avoiding the evil duke’s men

Great Gobs O’ Stuff

Happy Birthday to robin_d_laws, who is, I assure you, as fine a fellow as you’ll ever meet and one of the best game designers in the history of the art form.

The Second Village Poll is closed and megdeon and boundfate missed Last Call. I shall personally fill in the blanks on their characters later. The next Village Poll will go up very soon and be open to all.

Grace and I went to see City of Ember yesterday. We both really enjoyed it. Plenty of action, an interesting setting, likeable characters and a giant mutant star nosed mole. What more could you want?

My small winter veggie garden is doing well, altho the spinach has yet to poke it’s head above the soil. The peas, carrots, radishes and lettuce are all above ground (well, most of each radish and carrot is underground) and growing like crazy.

Sunday was game day and the PC’s did the following…

Rescued the Breeder Slaves from their cruel captivity

Had a fast paced and scary escape down the underground Forbidden River

Helped the former slaves establish a small community

Followed their dream given directions to a small village that not only got bigger as the days passed, but got more racially and economically diverse, too.

Found out that the village was populated by tulpa like entities, who needed the PC’s to stay among them for a week in order for the villagers and the village to become corporeal and “real”.

Left the village with many fine gifts (including a cool expandable chuck wagon/camper pulled by two mini triceratops) and the villagers undying respect and love.

Proceeded to make a beeline to a rumored ruined fort, where, they were sure they would find fortune and glory.

Found the ruins, but instead of fortune and glory, triggered a bit of magical critical mass and caused the mage of the group to give birth to the first elementals…in one case, literally.

Hauled ass out of the elemental homeland and into the hills.

We will play again in two weeks, at which point I expect the PC’s will once again find themselves neck deep in adventure.

More stuff, with a 30% chance of nonsense, later