Never Lie To A Cow


Because I’m, you know, mad as a hatter, I spent part of this otherwise very lazy day compiling and adding to all of the “Doc Tempest Magazine” subject lines I’ve ever done.

Read on, behind this cut

Doc Tempest And The Murder Machine

…from the June, 1942 issue

Coming Soon To A Dundracon Near You

I’ve decided to run a 3D minis battle to the death arena in Open Gaming this year. Here are the facts as they stand now…

Title: Hack ‘Em Up!

System: Totally homebrew, rules light and based upon rolling 1d20 for actions and assorted other dice for damage. Movement will be secret and simultaneous, then you’ll get 1 minute to asses the situation and write down your actions, then everyone reveals together.

Premise: You are all badass killers, armed to the teeth with various weapons. You really need the 10,000 gold piece prize money…plus, you really like killing people. Thus, all of you go in, but only one comes out.

The Arena: It’ll be 3D, with walls, stuff you can climb on/hide behind, traps, healing potions and other goodies, a few wandering monsters and (if you step on the right squares) teleport spots.

The Minis: I’ll be using my vast collection of Little Plastic Dudes.

Number of players: Not sure, but probably no more than 12 at a time.

So, if yer going to Dundracon, come test your luck.

Gooby, The Musk Ox Who Thought She Was A Dog

…a book for children

So, I went to bed early last night…about 9:30 pm. This is very rare for me, but I had been dragging ass since about 7:30, so I finally gave up the fight.

Which is mostly why, on a Saturday morning, I’m up and at ’em at 7:00 after giving The Girls their Second Breakfast (First Breakfast having happened at the usual time of 4:30 am.

It is pretty foggy out, which I like as long as I’m not driving in it. Here in Central California, we get some of the world’s densest, most long lasting fog. The driving populace, however, seems to think nothing of this and so drives like it was a bright and sunny day. Which is why you’ll hear about 200 car pile-ups on I-5 or Highway 99 every couple years.

But for walking around, really dense fog is great. Sounds are muted, everything is mysterious, nobody can see you unless they are within arms length. Lots of fun. In an earlier portion of my life, fog was a great ally in my then career. Yeah, I loves me some fog.

But I loves me some tea even more, so I’m out of here to put the kettle on and scare up some grub. More Live Journalism later, including, maybe, a new bit of Poll Based Madness.

Dinner In The Gobbler Green Zone

…no anti-turkey terrorists here

The Chicken and Dumplings turned out to be SuperYummo. Ditto the rest of the meal. But I know that what y’all really want to know is…

What did Daisy and Winker have for dinner?

Well, Gentle Reader, they had Curry Flavored Rice with Sauteed Chicken Livers and Natural Balance Lamb & Brown Rice Kibble. It got rave reviews: Two Tails Up.

Attack Of The Mutant Wiener Dogs

…with laser beams!

Happy birthday to John Kovalic, whom I first met at GenCon in 1991. I hope you have a good one, buddy!

Ya know, for an unemployed bum, I’ve got a fuckin’ busy day ahead of me. First up is a visit to Dr. Yen’s Anti-Psoriasis House Of Fun, then I have to ::REDACTED::…TWICE, then I have to buy groceries and pay (and by “pay” I mean “send a minimal token to”) some bills, THEN I’ve got to wash these two lovable but funky smelling hounds and THEN I have to wash dishes and laundry. I’ll let My Sweet Little Thirteen Lined Ground Squirrel Of Passion cook dinner.

And now, I’m outta here. More Blog-O-Rama later.

Giant Rotifers Ate My Cookies

…the bastards

Hokey Smoke, Bullwinkle, yesterday was one of those LOOOOOONNNNNGGGG days where you do stuff that, individually, takes only a bit of time, but end up with you being totally drained and sleeping for 10 hours. starting at 8 AM, there was lots of driving, doing stuff, more driving, more doing stuff, etc, etc. Then, upon finally getting home about 7 PM, there was still more shit to do until the wee hours. Grace, The Girls and I shall all be taking it easy today. Fuck you, laundry and dirty dishes!

Still, we did find out that the price of gas in Lodi, California, is $1.69 for Regular, which is like, twenty cents cheaper than the cheapest here in Sacramento

In other news, we are all pretty healthy. In fact, I plan to get somewhat healthier as soon as my breakfast is done cookin’.

More blogging later.