Fuck You, 2008

My friends, I'll cut to the chase here: Today, we will find out if our sweet girl, Daisy, has cancer. On Friday morning, I'll find out if I have cancer. If I have it, there will be an operation to remove my prostate and then whatever else needs to be done. All paid for by … Continue reading Fuck You, 2008

How Many Bridges Do I Have To Throw You Off Of, Fred?

...as it turned out, it was 3 The Great Day Arrives Yes, Gentle Readers, today was the day. There was much anticipation, followed by nerves, worries about the cost and, of course, the inevitable hard final choice. Today, I bought my 2009 calendar. Now, I know that for most of you, buying a new calendar … Continue reading How Many Bridges Do I Have To Throw You Off Of, Fred?

The Rare And Beautiful Five Legged Blue Chickenduck Of Potawango Island

...they can't swim all that well, but they can run like a motherfucker Just a short post to let y'all know I'm still alive. I managed to send off a 2 page zine for Alarums & Excursions 400th issue. Not my most content filled zine ever, but not bad for having been gone for...I dunno...years. … Continue reading The Rare And Beautiful Five Legged Blue Chickenduck Of Potawango Island

The 163 Things You Should Know Before Having Sex On The Beach

...#1: Don't! Ok, I've now entered one of my rare hyper-domestic stages and must buy groceries before madly cleaning the house. But before that, here's something I should have posted long ago... LiveJournalTrading CardsFree Account Edition doccross User Number: 2425525 Date Created:2004-03-06 Number of Posts: 1,185 Doc Cross, the most famous of all the great … Continue reading The 163 Things You Should Know Before Having Sex On The Beach

Teddy Bears For the Damned

...or even the darned Ok...fuck this shittyassed economy and this unemployment bullshit...it's time for the Good Doctor to grab things by the ass! FOR HIRE: ME! Healthy, 55 year old male. Skilled at gardening, cooking, driving, babysitting, petsitting (cats excluded due to extreme allergy), escorting ladies about (strictly business...I'm a married guy), a certain amount … Continue reading Teddy Bears For the Damned

The Eerily Self-Referential Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Mostly Purple Patty Story

...featuring her pet siamang, Jeff Ok, so it's December 1st, the real start of the Holiday Season. I hate the Holiday Season in general and Christmas music in particular, but I rather do like the following variation on a popular Xmas tune. And yes, I did post it on this very LJ way back in … Continue reading The Eerily Self-Referential Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Mostly Purple Patty Story