And I Shall Name This Blackberry Bush…Ed!

…and his sister shall be known as Wendy

This Whole Swine Flu Thing

Ok, so they are saying that we have another “killer flu” on our hands. Just like Bird Flu and the other Swine Flu and a whole load of flu varieties that have popped up and not become pandemics over the past 30 years. 100 dead in Mexico? Several times that many people will be murdered in Mexico by the end of this week. Less than two dozen cases in the US? Yeah, let’s get all worried and panic…cos out of 300,000,000 people, 15 or 20 is an epidemic.

Wake me up when people are dropping by the hundreds daily. I refuse to panic about it or get my hopes up that this flu will really thin the herd.

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Pelicans On The Freeway

…they might be hitching a ride

Delving In The Dungeon: Part 9 “doors to the right of us, doors to the left”

After bundling up the assorted loot (the dwarven armor was no better that what Knute already has), you continue down the corridor. It gets much drier and less mossy after 50 feet or so. A steady, warm, slightly moist air current wafts over you as you walk along.

Erasmus gives his opinion that there might be hot springs deeper down. Periwinkle says that she hopes nothing lives in those hot springs. Pretty much everyone else agrees with her.

After walking another 100 yards or so, the corridor levels out and you see 2 doors ahead, one on either side of the passageway. Both are ordinary looking wooden doors, with no locks. Both are shut. Periwinkle looks and listens at both of them, then tells you….

“I hear something behind the one on the right…sort of a scrabbling around noise. Doesn’t sound like anything big. No sound at all behind the other door. Neither door appears to be trapped.”

The Story Of The Good Cop And The Bad Politician

…with a happy ending: the politician goes crazy

The ABC Meme

Cos I’m feeling lazy.

A – Age: 55
B – Bed size: Queen size
C – Chore you hate: washing dishes
D – Dog’s name: Winker Sue Cross
E – Essential start your day item: Tea: strong, black & unsweetened
F – Favorite color: Green
G – Gold or Silver: Silver
H – Height: 5’10” or so
I – Instruments you play(ed): Drums (but not anymore)
J – Job title: Courier
K – Kid(s): Almost certainly none
L – Living arrangements: Me, wife, dog
M – Mom’s name: Gerry
N – Nicknames: Doc, Bo,
O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: appendectomy in December, 1970
P – Pet Peeve: TV shows that run slightly over the hour mark, thereby fucking with mt recording setup
Q – Quote from a movie:”I’ll get you, Dorothy, and your little dog, too!”
R – Right or left handed: Right
S – Siblings: 2
T – Time you wake up: 7 am, plus or minus 15 minutes
U- Underwear: Boxers, briefs or commando. I’m versatile that way.
V – Vegetable you dislike: broccoli, cauliflower, beets
W – Ways you run late: I tend to goof off until after the last second
X – X-rays you’ve had: Every part of my body, at one time or another
Y – Yummy food you make: All of it. I’m a better cook than your momma.
Z – Zoo favorite: Gibbons, parrots, otters and young MILFs in sun dresses.

Rock & Roll Preschool

…I just want to get get a cookie…I’m to young to know about nookie

The Ramones may rise from their graves to get me for that one. Or not.

STUFF

1: Missed the A&E deadline again. Damn!

2: Everyone here at the Cross Luxury Hotel For Spoiled Basset Hounds is as healthy as can be expected. Let us hope this trend continues.

3: Having read two posts recently by LJ friends who ranted about some of their fucked up family members, I was tempted to call my sibs and thank them for not being total assholes. Then I thought “fuck it, let them call me first”. Hey, it’s how my family rolls:)

4: Tonight’s Netflix Double Feature at Uncle Doc’s Video Lounge: “Tarantula” and “The Mole People”. WOOHOO!

5: This weekend’s festivities: Gardening on Saturday, Game Day on Sunday!

6: I have recently gone quite mad for the whole Old School Gaming (read: OD&D/First Edition AD&D) thing. Well, I was always kind of an Old School Gamer, but the madness comes in the form of rampant downloads of every free Old School PDF I can find. All of this relates to my ongoing “Return Of Magic” home RPG series, so I cannot discuss details…except to say that Spring/Summer of 2010 will be The Year Of The Dungeon, baby!

And now for something not at all different…

Delving In The Dungeon: Part 8 “loot, glorious loot”

With the sole exception of Knute and Amalia, who stand guard, everyone else probes around in the muck & goo to search for treasure. Here is what they find…

132 gold pieces, some quite old and valuable
210 silver pieces
473 copper pieces
2 large shields
2 broadswords
1 battleaxe
7 daggers
4 skeletons, 2 wearing chainmail, 1 wearing ring mail, 1 wearing rotten robes
3 rings, one of which proves to be magical (via a Detect Magic spell)
3 sealed flasks of oil
2 sealed flasks of some pinkish liquid
1 sealed scroll case, containing a scroll with 2 spells (Sleep and Turn Undead)
Assorted remains of backpacks, blankets, torches, ropes, etc…all ruined by the much.

All the weapons and armor are in surprisingly good shape beyond a bit of rust. Unfortunately, the armor was obviously made for dwarves. The skeletons show many broken and cracked bones, as though they were hit mighty blows with blunt instruments.

Erasmus declares that the pinkish liquids are “almost certainly” healing potions. He then slips the magic ring on the middle finger of his right hand.

And since I have not mentioned it yet, Erasmus normally has 12 Power Points per day and all of his spells are first level, which cost one point each time he casts them.

Doc Tempest VS The King Of Crime

…from the August, 1958 issue

Delving In The Dungeon: Part 7 “biff, bam, thank you, ma’am!”

Round 1

Fergus aims a mighty axe blow at the shambler’s midsection and hits hard, but his axe becomes caught in the tough fibers that make up the creature’s “skeleton”. Unfortunately, the shambler manages to deal him a hard whack to the ribs with its arm.

Duncan, seeing the creature is swinging an arm to hit him, slashes at the arm with his sword. A good chunk of goo is knocked off and the arm is deflected. Duncan takes no damage.

Amalia stands off to the left and fires an arrow into the shambler’s upper arm. It seems to have no effect.

Periwinkle keeps behind the two fighters. She is wondering if a backstab attempt is worth trying.

Knute guards Erasmus, but he wishes that he was in the thick of things.

Erasmus moves to the right and casts a Magic Missile spell. The missile hits the shambler in the leg, blasting off a small chunk of goo.

The Shambler gurgles and keeps on fighting.

Round 2

Fergus, his ribs aching from the creature’s blow, shouts a curse and rips his axe free.

Duncan slashes at the shamblers arm, but misses.

Amalia aims for the head of the beast and scores a hit. The arrow pierces one of the eyes, but the shambler barely seems to notice.

Periwinkle decides to try a backstab and moves around behind the shambler.

Knute shouts encouragement to the fighters.

Erasmus sends off another Magic Missile, hitting the shambler in the chest. It blows a large amount of muck from the creature.

The Shambler swings both arms at Fergus but misses him.

Round 3

Fergus again swings for the midsection and scores a critical hit! Large amounts of grey-green goo begin to ooze from the wound. The shambler thrashes about wildly.

Duncan plunges his sword clean through the beasts upper arm.

Amaila fires another arrow, but misses.

Periwinkle backstabs the creatures midsection and it thrashes even more that before.

Knute gives forth with a triumphant shout.

Erasmus nods approvingly.

The Shambling Mound thrashes, but does not attack.

After a few more attacks by the party, the shambler collapses into what looks like a wet compost pile.

Fergus has some bruised ribs, which Erasmus mostly heals with a Cure Light Wounds spell. Everyone else is just fine, tho a bit winded. After a few minutes rest, you continue down the passageway. Not far along, you come to a wet mucky area that was probably the lair of the shambler.

Quetzalcoatl Is My Co-Pilot

…and the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t mind

The Cross Family Has A Big Day Out

Well, a fairly long day out, anyway. See, today was Picnic Day at UC Davis, so Grace, Winker and I went to it. Now, this day is pretty big festive deal at the university and there were tons of things to see and do and thousands of people seeing and doing them.

However, due to having our loving, but not really built for walking in the heat (due to both being mostly a house dog and having somewhat deformed legs) Winkerdog with us, Grace and I opted to just go check out the Big Gathering Of Dog Rescues.

There were LOTS of dog rescues there! Old English Sheepdogs…Rat Terriers…Golden Retrievers…Weimeraners…German Shepherds…Newfoundlands…Brittany Spaniels…Mixed Breeds…and Bassets. And those are just some of the rescue operations that were there!

Golden Gate Basset Rescue had some fine hounds there, all needing a loving home. If Grace and I were living on a farm, we’d have adopted them all.

Anyway, after meeting about a zillion other dogs and being told what a cutie she was by a zillion humans, Miss Winker was plumb tuckered out and ready to return to a Basset Hound’s natural habitat…an house with central heating & air and a nice comfy recliner.

I took some pix and will try to have them posted tomorrow.

All in all, a fun day.

Postholes For Sale

…I cut them up from a dry oil well shaft

Delving In The Dungeon: Part 6 “down and dirty fighting”

After a short delay, during which Periwinkle, Erasmus and Knute lit up some torches, you head off down the left hand tunnel. The marching order is the same as earlier.

As you move down the passage, the earthy smell in the air gets stronger. Everyone has a weapon at the ready and Fergus is muttering “Damn…I know that smell…”. The passage walls are still pretty clean and definitely built by humanoids, but now you see small areas of ground water leakage and molds/algae/slime on the walls.

And then two things happen…

Fergus says “I’ve got it! Shambling Mound! That’s the smell!”

3 seconds later, a 7 foot tall vaguely humanoid shape steps out of the darkness in front of you. It looks to be made of soil, compost, leaves, twigs and moss. It makes a sort of gurgling squishy sound. It has big red pupiless eyes. It’s moving with surprising speed.

It’s a Shambling Mound alright, and it seems to be upset by your presence.

Shit’s on now, mates!