…in D minor
Holy Crap, kids, it’s FOUR 365 entries!
365 People, Places & Things #147
The Alphabet: F
F is for FREAK PATROL
The Freak Patrol was, starting in the Summer of 1969, the Establishment’s worst nightmare: Hippies with superpowers. And not freaky deaky strange superpowers, but powers like superspeed, superstrength, telekinesis, invulnerability, mind control, shapeshifting and a whole bunch more. Within days of their first appearance, the shot right to the top of every government agency wanted list, to say nothing of President Nixon’s famed Enemies List.
The Freak Patrol numbered somewhere between 6 and 14 members. Nobody is sure because the group changed and swapped costumes nearly every time they appeared in public. It’s not even known exactly how many were male and how many were female.
Besides helping out people in need and doing other good deeds, the Freak Patrol also exposed a whole lot of crooked and corrupt people to the public eye. That’s why President Nixon left office before his first term was up and why almost the entire Senate and House were voted out in the next couple of elections.
They were just as busy in other countries, particularly Russia, where communism fell hard around the summer of 1976. Many other countries suffered similar fates. Dictators became an endangered species.
They stopped a total of 16 wars and did a great amount of environmental restoration. They also built an international moon base.
In all of their exploits, the Freak Patrol never hurt or killed anyone. Government attempts to frame them always seemed to backfire very badly.
The Freak Patrol was around until September 21st, 1990, at which point they dropped heart shaped leaflets saying “It’s all over for us here. Going to another gig. Be good and love each other.” Since then, no super powered person has ever appeared on Earth.
Since none of the Freak Patrol took catchy names or wore traditional costumes, there is no way to really identify them for posterity, other than using terms like “the short one who could fly and shoot energy beams” or “the average sized one who could change shape and teleport”. The statue erected to them at the intersection of Haight & Ashbury streets is rather abstract and just reads “Freak Patrol: They Changed The World”.
365 People, Places & Things #148
The Alphabet: G
G is for GALACTIC BRAIN
Galactic Brain was a hugely popular half hour Japanese animated series that debuted in 2013 and ran for eight years. Describing it is difficult because it was very surreal looking, had content that often made no sense (or made sense only months later when another bit was shown), kept switching languages and, during those few minutes per episode when it told a story chapter, told the story out of sequence over a period of years.
For all it’s mind warping strangeness, Galactic Brain still managed to inject dozens of catchphrases into popular culture. A few are listed below.
“It’s a hamsicle!”
“Yomo will pee on it!”
“Explode your own head, dummy!”
“Can I have your bowl of chili? I’ve got a nickel!”
One final note: Despite a truly exhausting search of all 203 episodes by the most rabid of fans, no mention of the phrase “galactic brain” has ever been found.
365 People, Places & Things #149
The Alphabet: H
H is for HAMSTERS
On Earth 91, humans are extinct and hamsters rule the world via a hive mind. They use other animals to do things they cannot do. They provide well for these (and all) animals, while living in huge hive like structures. It is unknown what the inside of these structures look like or if the hamsters have any technology beyond simple tools. All attempts by humans from other dimensions to explore this planet have failed. Each time, the explorers came back to their homeworld encased in a hollow plastic sphere.
365 People, Places & Things #150
The Alphabet: I
I is for ILOGRIDOX
Ilogridox is a drug used in the treatment of Chronic Shapeshifting Disorder. CSD is magic related, but not entirely magic based. It often first manifests in young adepts after an encounter with high level radiation, psychotropic drugs, toxic chemical waste or encounters with aliens, to name but a few possible catalysts.
Ilogridox has proven effective in 82% of CSD cases by restricting the shapeshifting to members of one’s own species. In 68% of those cases, shapeshifting is even restricted to one’s own sex.
Side effects may include: Nosebleeds, itchy feet, nausea, tremors, homicidal urges, inability to tolerate classical music, spontaneous uncontrollable urination, scaly skin, exploding eyeballs and death.
Pregnant women should not take Ilogridox due to the possibility of giving birth to a dozen or more pixies.