Fastest Nun In The West

…Sister Mary Roadrunner

365 People, Places & Things #157

The Alphabet: P

P is for PIDWIN

Back about 100 years before the Seven Kingdoms came to be, there were a multitude of smaller kingdoms occupying the same area. Almost all of them were poor and most would have been larger if it had not been for the fighting between the various family members who ran them. Nobody wanted to join up with anyone else because that would depose somebody from their throne and that just wasn’t going to happen.

And so it was with the three Pidwinese kingdoms of West Pidwin, East Pidwin and the barely larger Pidwin that was smack in the middle. Each country was ruled by one of three brothers and they hated each other. Each tried his best to depose, conquer or kill his rivals, but they were just too evenly matched.

It should be noted that each of these small countries was quite underpopulated, due to two of the brothers taking large numbers of people with them when they founded Wast and East Pidwin. It’s hard to raise much of an army when you need every person just to produce enough food and trade goods to get by.

The situation changed when a large gold vein was found in Pidwin. In short order, King Stendor was able to hire mercenaries to attack West Pidwin, which was ruled by his older brother, King Botrigar. The entire war lasted three days and ended with Botrigar dead and Stendor making plans to invade East Pidwin. A couple of weeks later, just before he launched his attack, a message came from his younger brother King Altanor. It told him that if he wanted East Pidwin, he could have it and that Altanor was leaving the country. Sure enough, when his army marched into East Pidwin, it was his for the taking without a sword being drawn or a drop of blood spilled.

King Stendor ruled Pidwin for the next 28 years. The gold mines eventually played out, but by then the population had grown enough to make the country one of the most prosperous around. As a ruler, Stendor was a bit harsh and decadent, but nobody dared to oppose him. After a time, Pidwin began sending troops to other countries, helping them with their own sibling rivalries in exchange for goods or cold hard cash.

Upon King Stendor’s death from a heart attack at age 61, his son, Prince Orvost, became king and ruled for another 35 years. He would have ruled longer, but his cousin Princess Honeydew, daughter of King Altanor, attacked Pidwin with a small fleet of skyships and killed him. In just over a month, the country of Pidwin was gone, replaced by East Pidwin.

As to where Princess Honeydew came from and how she came to have a fleet of skyships, well, that’s another story.

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