Crazed Ducks Ran Rampant Through My Coreopsis

…they trampled the Limerock Ruby and crapped on the Moonbeam

The Doclopedia #168

The Infinite Doc: Doc, Lord Of The Jungle 


It was in the fall of 1910 that Professor and Mrs. Cross arrived in the Congo, where The professor would be studying the local wildlife while his wife would be teaching the natives while raising their only child, young Robert, age 6 months.

Years passed and Robert grew into a strapping young lad of 16. Schooled in both the ways of the jungle and the ways of civilized society, he could move easily in either world, though he vastly preferred the jungle. The people of the jungle revered him as a great warrior, while the animals, especially the great apes, considered him an equal.

Shortly after turning 16, it was decided by his parents that the family would return to America, where Robert would attend university. During a sad farewell, he promised his jungle friends that he would be back someday. Then he and his parents left.

Due to his great intelligence and the fine schooling his mother had provided, Robert breezed through university and graduated with a degree in veterinary medicine (thus earning the nickname “Doc”). He then promptly left to go on an extended tour of the world’s wild places, breaking the hearts of dozens of young ladies who had fallen for his barely civilized manliness.

Ten years later, at the age of 30, he returned to the Congo and his jungle home. Over the next few decades, he fought all manner of evils, human and otherwise. He succeeded in not only making sure that vast areas of Africa would be preserved for nature (often by what civilized people might call “terrifying intimidation”), he also help oust many Europeans and Americans who tried to take control of various countries. Along the way, he met and married the daughter of a Zulu leader. They had 5 children.

Inevitably, civilization crept ever closer and Doc, now nearing 70 years old, retreated far into the deep jungle. After a few years, it was believed that he was dead. However, in 2010, he was sighted and interviewed by a camera crew from the PBS series, “Nature”. At that point, he was 100 years old, but anybody seeing the video footage would swear he was no older than 50, tops. When later asked how this could be possible, a tribal chief would only laugh and say that the Jungle Lord would live as long as the jungle needed him.


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