…huh? what? wrong lyrics?

The Doclopedia #347

The Rise Of The…: Children

It really did happen overnight. Just about the time the sun was setting over Tokyo, prepubescent kids all over the world started acting strange…deadly strange. They’d just sit and stare for a few minutes, then get up go get a knife or a gun or something and start killing everybody who wasn’t a kid. They didn’t say a damned word, just started killing.

Oh sure, plenty of adults and older kids tried to stop them, but they found out that the little fuckers had gotten really fast and really strong and if there was more than one they had some pretty good pack hunting skills. Nope, if you were in a house with kids once the shit hit the fan, you were dead meat…and fresh meat because the kids were cannibals now.

A few garbled 911 calls got out, but when the cops would arrive, they’d find everyone dead except some crying blood spattered kids. Pretty soon, it’s dead cops time. It worked so well that most neighborhoods full of kids could kill 2-3 waves of cops & other first responders before somebody would catch on.

By the time a full 24 hours had passed, the adult population of Planet Earth was reduced by about half. In countries where the population owned lots of guns (hello, USA), it was more like 70%. Most governments were in total disarray and their militaries weren’t much better off. By the end of the third day any sane adult was hiding out as far from children as they could.

What caused the kids to change? Nobody has the slightest clue. Doesn’t really matter anyway, after these last four years. The hunting for adults has slowed down and I’m told that the kids who have since entered puberty grew up big and got really dumb. Almost like they’re retarded or drugged or something. About all they seem good for is what they do as often as possible.

Make more babies.


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