Chapter 92: In Which Our Hero, Whilst Infiltrating The Coronation Of The French King, Is Afflicted With Flatulence Most Foul

…I hate when that happens

Yo, internet homies, today I’m starting a hopefully pretty regular series where I cover various topics about things I like. Later, I’ll start a similar series about things that piss me off. First up today: food!

Great Things To Eat: Part One

Curry: There are all sorts of curries out there, from mild & subtle to big, bold and hotter than hell. All of them are delicious. Don’t think you like vegetarian dishes? Try any of the 8 zillion veggie curries. Love seafood? You’re covered. Better yet, get yourself a good Indian or Thai cookbook and cook up one of your own! And don’t forget the rice and Thai Iced Tea. Best curry I’ve ever eaten? Any of the ones at The King And I in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Fish Tacos: How good are fish tacos? Well, I’ve had sexual encounters that weren’t as good as a couple great fish tacos and a cold cerveza. Doesn’t matter if the fish is battered and crunchy or unbattered and moist. And by “fish”, I also mean shrimp, crab and whatever else comes from the sea. It’s all yummy, especially after you dress it up with your choice of salsas, cremas and cheese. Best fish tacos I’ve ever eaten? The crunchy fish taco and the Dungeness crab taco I had off of a Mexican food truck in San Jose back in 1984.

Steel Cut Oats: Easy to cook, tasty as hell and good for you. What’s not to love about that? I like to cook them with a handful of raisins, then add some dark brown sugar and milk. Yum Yum! Oats are also very filling, so your breakfast will stick with you a long while, thus cutting down on between meal snacks and helping you lose weight. Best steel cut oats I’ve ever eaten? The bowl I just had a couple of hours ago.

Well, I think that went well. Now how about a nice serving of Doclopedia, hmmm?

The Doclopedia #390

Look What I Found!: 1930’s Universal Horror Edition

Look here, Carol, isn’t it beautiful? It’s the necklace that your father and I found on that statue of Bast today. Four thousand years old, but it still looks brand new. The inscription in the tomb told of a curse, one that would turn any woman who wore this into a Daughter of Bast. Why is it that every object anybody finds in an Egyptian tomb always seems to be cursed? Pretty silly if you ask me.

Oh, yes, well, a Daughter of Bast was supposedly a young woman who would transform into a catlike creature to do the bidding of the Priests of Bast. Sort of an Egyptian version of a werewolf. Your father knows more about it than me. I daresay that old soothsayer in the village knows more about it that I do. I’m just a humble reader of hieroglyphics.

Say, you look lovely in this moonlight. You know I’m crazy about you, don’t you? When this dig is finished and we’re back in London, I’ve got something to ask you. I hope…what’s that? Sounds like those fool diggers are on about something again. I’ll be right back, darling.

Oh, excuse me, Miss Benning, I did not mean to startle you. I have only come to view the lovely necklace that is spoken of in the village. I am very old and have waited many years to see such a wonder. How beautiful it is, much like yourself. You should try it on. Yes, yes, just like that. Beautiful. Dizzy? It shall pass, Miss Benning, it shall pass.

There, you see, you feel much better now, don’t you. Now you are a Daughter of Bast, part of a line that stretches back into the mists of history. Listen to me now, for there are things you must do, both here and back in England. There are those who need to be punished for what they have done. Listen and obey, Miss Benning.

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2 comments on “Chapter 92: In Which Our Hero, Whilst Infiltrating The Coronation Of The French King, Is Afflicted With Flatulence Most Foul

  1. Hi Doc: I agree with your comment about curry at the King and I in Milwaukee. In fact, anything at the King and I would probably win (or at least tie) with any other Thai food I have ever had.

    Also loved the start of the “Daughters of Bast” story.

  2. Sorry, forgot to mention that I love steel cut oats too. It is nothing like the old oatmeal of my youth.

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