The Mostly True, Yet Still Pretty Unbelievable, Story Of Mostly Purple Patty And The Boys Who Stole Panties

…co-starring her pet guanaco, Pepe

You get Doclopedia and fiction today, kids! (Note: I’m posting the fiction from April, 2013, because I forgot to port it over from my now defunct fiction blog.)

 

The Doclopedia #391

Look What I Found!: High Fantasy Roleplaying Edition

Look, Ardex, there it is, just as the blind seer told us, the Greatsword of Hargan Lightbringer! Handed down to him by his father, Luvis the Just, king of the far land of Gloritania, this sword was blessed by the gods themselves at the start of the 6th Age, when the High Elves ruled the world. See how it glows with the Undying Light of Truth! Why, with this, we can travel back to Sarwenia and stop the hordes of the Troll king from destroying Emorilia, City of the Faithful and plunging our world into dar…

SSSSSHHHWWWIIIIPPPPP!!!! SSSSSHHHWWWIIIIPPPPP!!!!

Bloody great shots there, boys! Right in the throats! Those poor bastards never knew what hit ’em. Right then, let’s get those bodies stripped and those horses rounded up. I’ll grab that there greatsword. I reckon it’ll fetch top dollar at the marketplace in Boldar.

 


After The Change Came: Series 2

This is the second, but by no means the last, series of blog posts from the world where magic returned and geeks almost rule. This series is posted by Doc’s old friend, Sin, who is only recently returned to the land of the living and high fashion.

Sin And The Art Of Introduction

Hello, everybody and welcome to my blog. My given name is Ian, as in Ian Thomas Howard Mayhew IV (we like those long family names down south). However, you can call me Sin, as in Sindell Thomas, the name I gave myself when I came out as a transvestite all those decades ago. I’ll tell the story soon, I promise. I’m a human, not a Changed or Mutant or Mage or any of the other possibilities the Change wrought.

I’m a native of Charleston, South Carolina, where my family has lived since way before the Civil War, but I’ve lived here in California since I was 18. I have 3 sisters and a brother, plus my parents, still living. All of them but my younger sister Valentine (also a Human) got turned into gnomes during the Change. I have no ex-wives and no children that I’ve ever been told about. I do, as of a couple of months ago, have a Smart Rabbit named Babe as a roomie and non human kid. She’s still young, but seems to be picking up many of my traits. Time will tell how that works out for a young female bunny.

Now, before we go any further, let me just clear things up for those of you who may be a bit confused. I like to wear women’s clothing, but I am not gay. I also do not want to become female. I love women and I love my penis and I’ve found that those two things go together very well. Preferably, as often as possible. I don’t even care if it messes up my hair or makeup:)

So, I’ve sort of taken over blogging from my best old buddy, Doc Cross (AKA “Old Yellow Eyes”) while he is busy with about a million things (including becoming a nervous wreck) as he gets ready for the birth of his first ever human children, the wedding of our best female friend, adapts to being a grandfather to four Basset/Corgi Smart Dogs and deals with a young teenage catgirl daughter. Oh yes, and he still has to do Diplomatic things. I love the guy, but it’s pretty funny watching him melt down slowly. When he reads this, he will call me many rude names, but I’ll forgive him because he’s just an ignorant Yankee hippie.

Anyhow, if you’ve read any of Doc’s previous blogs, you’ll know that I used to be dead. Well, physically dead. I was done in by an undetected heart problem in 1994 at the tender age of 40. Imagine everybody’s surprise, not the least of which was mine, when I suddenly woke up to find that, in August of 1999 I had become something called a “Computer Guide”. I was alive, but living on the New Worldwide Web and tasked with helping Doc when he came online or had something for me to do. It was actually great fun, but I wanted to be corporeal again. There’s no sex or high fashion in Computer Guide land. Not that all of us Guides didn’t try, because we did.

How I got a body and got my life force back into it is a story for another day (as is the story about my death and what happened next), but for the last few months, I’ve been enjoying being back in the world. Thank you, Doc & Grace for keeping all of my old belongings in storage, even if it was mostly because you forgot about them after the Change hit. I’m also damned glad that the sperm donations I made to the United Nations Genetic Repository survived the Change, too.

Well, I’ve got to head off to work now. A artist’s work is never done. Talk to y’all later!

 

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