When The Bus Rolled In At Midnight, Billy The Shark Was On It

…they called him “The Shark” because he liked to bite people

Subject Line: Promotions, Retirements and Vacations

Since I’ve decided to go all balls out with the blogging and tweeting and facebooking and stuff starting on my 58th birthday and going until my 59th, I figured I’d try to add a bit of freshness to my subject lines, too.

Those of you who have been reading my blogs since early 2004 know that I try to never have my subject lines have anything to do with what I’m writing about. In fact, I’d say only 25 or 30 out of the near 2,000 posts have anything to do with the content. The rest are shit that just pops into my head about 30 seconds before I hit “publish”. I’m 99.9999% certain that I’ve never exactly repeated a subject line.

Still, over the years I have created some subject lines and styles of subject lines that appear on a regular basis. Starting on my birthday, some of these old friends will go on hiatus while others will be retired (possibly forever, possibly not) and the remainder will get promoted to regular usage. Details follow…

Mostly Purple Patty: I have started most months with an MPP subject line since October 25, 2006 and I see no reason to stop now. Patty, you are like the bizarre children’s book daughter I never had.

Bucky & Squint
: You guys have been with me since the beginning, but it’s time to retire you. Go back to Fargo and enjoy yourselves. Oh, and your cut from that cathouse in Juarez will arrive by courier every month.

The Ten Blue Budgies: I’m shipping you lot back to Australia with a lifetime supply of budgie chow and mirrors to fight with. You did good work, mates!

Doc Tempest: Of course, your work is never done, Doc, so you’ll be sticking around and taking up a position at the start of the first week of each month, unless Patty has dibs on.

Mrs. Wangdoodle: Retirement…and the many gentlemen at the East Wixby Senior Living Village…calls to you, my dear. Please, no tears. We’ll always have Flatbush.

Handsome Joe
: It’s a promotion for you, my little fictional children’s book Basset Hound! I will try to use you a lot more that I have in the past.

Potawango Island: No way am I done with you! So many wonderful species of flora & fauna still left to introduce to the world.

Dr. Silkmelon and Mr. Porkwaffle: If I cannot give up Potawango Island, how then can I turn my back on the hearty men who discovered it? Onward, gentlemen, ever onward!

The Chapters: I am not yet done with you, but I think we shall give Our Hero (if not the French and the wicked and corrupt Church) a few months off. However, we shall await your eventual return with bated breath.

The Flying Spanaducci Sisters: Go, ladies, and tour with Billy Rose’s Big Show. You knocked ’em dead here, girls.

It’s All Fun & Games: Not done with you by a long shot.

Harry Potter: You get a nice long break, Harry. Give Ginnie my love.

Ok, that’s it for now. I might have missed a couple, but I’ll deal with them as they pop up. Now I’m off to work. Y’all stay out of trouble.

After The Change Came: Series 2

Sin And The Fishing Trip

I am just a couple of hours back from a short camping and fishing trip with Doc, his dad Bill, his uncle Carl and Roscoe. At first, Doc and I were just going to fish here locally, but his mom, his aunt, his sisters, Grace, Lily, Babe and GiGi told us all that they wanted some woman (or, in Babe and GiGi’s case, doe and bitch) time, so we were cast out into the wild. Doc’s gnomish brothers were sent off on some sort of Gnome Scout function. Nick, being just a puppy, stayed home with GiGi.

So of we went into the chilly, but sunny and dry wilds of the Placerville area where we set up camp and spent a couple of days fishing, drinking, eating camp food, swapping lies and generally being guys. It was totally fun and at night, Bill and Carl would get out the guitar and fiddle and serenade us. Sometimes we’d join in, although my singing voice will sour milk and Doc’s is barely passable. Roscoe, on the other hand, has a great voice that is not unlike that of George Jones.

We caught a fair number of fish, including a bunch of Golden Trout. We ate some and salted the rest down to take home. At one point, I hooked something big way out in the middle of the American River, but whatever it was, it snapped my line like it was sewing thread. Bill thought it might have been a Giant Carp.

About halfway along the trip home, Doc got a Wizard Summons and was teleported away. Knowing how much he hates both of those things, I expect he will be in a pretty foul mood when he finally gets home. On the plus side, he will no doubt have invented several new curse words.

Well, friends, I’m off to take a bit of a nap before I do the domestic thing. This apartment looks like a gang of teenagers lives here. After that, it’s QuestWorld for me while Babe catches up on some episodes of the third season of Firefly. I’ll blog at y’all later.


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