…Mmmmm, buttered fritters
The Doclopedia # 398
The Alphabet, Again: A is for…Amy The Barbarian
On Earth 221, there are many powerful kingdoms and ravaging barbarian hordes. Among the various races of barbarians, none are stronger and deadlier than the People of Lakora. Life in their land is fraught with terrible weather, deadly animals, rough terrain and constant clan warfare. You grow up tough or you don’t grow up at all!
From this savage land came Amy, a petite warrior woman with blond pigtails, a cute face and big blue eyes. She was armed with a small pink shield and a 3 foot long sharply pointed stick. She skipped down the road, aiming to kill, steal and pillage her way through the civilized lands.
Upon her first encounter, with a band of seven burly Thudarkian mercenaries, she was laughed at and mention was made of possibly taking her as a sex slave. The mercenaries laughed so hard at her threats of violence that she had killed three of them with a sharp stick through the throat before the rest realized what had happened. At that point, it was too late for them. Moments later, a gore covered Amy stood on the chest of the lone survivor, who would now never have need of a sex slave.
“Listen to me, you wretched son of a troll! I am Amy, a warrior and thief of great skill and cunning. I have spared your worthless life so that you may go out into the world and spread the news that I will not be trifled with by scum like you, lest I leave a wake of bloody corpses behind me. Now go, run and tell all that Amy is coming!”
Between the terrified mercenary telling everyone he met about the little woman who now used his scrotum for a coin purse and Amy slaughtering everyone who messed with her, the legend of Amy the Barbarian spread quickly across the world. Soon, kingdoms would fall and armies would clash as Amy made the world her own.