Perky Twits

…everybody hates them

The Doclopedia #411

The Alphabet, Again: F is for…Feline Telekinesis Syndrome

What is Feline Telekinesis Syndrome?: Although not fully understood by the scientific and medical establishment, it appears that FTS causes cats to manifest the ability to move things merely by thinking of it. In most cases, the afflicted cat can only move things weighing a few ounces and can only move them a few inches. In a very few cases, certain cats have shown much more powerful abilities, such as the Maine Coon cat that belonged to a family in San Ysidro, California. On two occasions, this cat held the families Yorkshire terrier a full 18 inches above the floor for a full minute and a half.

FTS usually pops up in about 1 cat in 1,000, most often in either very old or very young cats. It seldom lasts for more than six months. No breed of cat is more likely than another to develop it. Sex makes no difference, although it does appear to afflict females more than males. It only affects pet cats who spend most of their time indoors.

Is FTS dangerous to my cat?: No, it is not, nor is it generally dangerous to anyone else. Most cats seem to only it to pull food off of counters or to steal toys from other pets.

Is there a way to protect my cat from getting it?: Not at this time.

Is FTS related to Canine Teleportation Syndrome?: There is some evidence that it might be, since you often find pets with both syndromes in the same house, bu so far, nobody knows for sure.