…and it’s yummy, too
The Doclopedia #421
The Alphabet, Again: J is for…Jelly Sex
On Earth 15, back in the early 1970’s, there was a brief time when the sexually adventurous and the swingers took to having orgies in plastic lined rooms that held a huge pile, or in some cases several small piles, of jelly. Everybody would just sort of dive in naked and start screwing, all the while becoming covered in the sticky sweetness. It didn’t take long for people to realize that you had to use jelly, which has no seeds. Using anything else would cause some painful chafing. Orange marmalade was about as risky as you wanted to get.
Naturally, the jelly manufacturers loved this fad, even though they could not overtly advertise their products as good for sex. That didn’t matter though, because jelly sales spiked for about four months and they raked in millions.
Eventually, the fad faded away as swingers started gaining weight and getting sick of the taste of jelly. By 1974, jelly sex was a thing of the past, although to this day, teenagers “discover” the idea about once every decade.
The Doclopedia #422
The Alphabet, Again: J is for…John Dough
Of all the super heroes out there, John Dough is the strangest you’re likely to find. Originally, he was Kelvin Washington, a young man from Richmond, Virginia, who worked in a large industrial bakery. One day, as Kelvin was pushing a cartload of flour past the huge dough mixers, a secret government plane carrying toxic radioactive waste crashed into the bakery.
Kelvin, the flour and the toxic waste fell into the mixer full of water, which then turned on and started mixing. By the time emergency workers could shut it off, Kelvin had been transformed into a 9 foot tall humanoid being made of bread dough. The government tried to capture him, but Kelvin was too smart and powerful. He escaped and went out into the world with a new name: John Dough.
Being made of bread dough, John is pretty much impervious to damage by bullets, blades or blunt objects. He is also immune to all human diseases and poisons of all types. John is tremendously strong and can fire globs of sticky dough from his fingertips. Thanks to the toxic waste, he can also breath a cloud of nauseating gas and turn his skin rock hard.
John’s main weakness is fire, but only if applied evenly and for a prolonged time. Water makes him sticky, but does not otherwise hurt him.
John Dough is a rather solitary hero, but has been known to hang out with The Golden Cockroach and Lint Girl.