Chapter 39: In Which Our Hero Rides Off To War, But Not Until Thrashing The Wicked Vicar And Setting Free The Goose

…the goose was very grateful

The Doclopedia #430

The Alphabet, Again: M is for…Mikwitz

Mikwitz are tiny two inch tall humanoids native to certain fantasy versions of Earth. Possessed of both great speed and a great potential for mischief, they are the bane of Wizards and Alchemists. A single Mikwitz, or worse yet a small group, will get into a storage area for spell/potion components and switch the contents of jars and pots around. This can end up being merely annoying or a total disaster, as in the famous example where the Wizard Ibn al Wakeed mixed the wrong components together and caused an explosion that left a 300 foot wide crater where his home had once stood.

Fortunately, most (but by no means all) Mikwitz are terrified by cats. Of course, having cats in your laboratory comes with a whole other set of risks, but most Wizards & Alchemists agree that it’s still a hell of a lot safer than even one Mikwitz.

The Doclopedia #431

The Alphabet, Again: N is for…Night Women

Across much of Africa and India, the legend of the Night Women has terrified men for centuries. As the stories go, these beautiful women wait along lonely trails for a man, or perhaps a couple of men, to come by. When that happens, the women step out of the shadows totally nude and offer the men sex, which the stories say no man can refuse. At some point during the sex act, the Night Women drains every bit of blood from the man via his penis. The corpse is then left on the road for somebody to find.

It would be easy to write this all off as a primitive folk tale if it weren’t for the fact that upwards of 300 male corpses with exploded genital areas are found on remote roads and even back alleys in large cities. Some of these corpses are even found in motor vehicles, apparently showing that the Night Women can get men to stop and give them a ride. So far, science has no explanation for these deaths, although law enforcement insists that they are the work of serial killers or terrorists.


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