Not In This Issue: Corrupt Politicians, Quilting Patterns Or Cole Slaw Recipes

…sorry, quilters

The Doclopedia #508

Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Ring of Bathroom Quickness

It never fails: there you are, in the dungeon, and you need to answer the call of nature. Not too difficult to do if you’re a guy just taking a leak…unless you’re all suited up in armor. And no matter your sex or what you’re wearing, if you have to take a dump, things get bothersome and potentially dangerous, because you just know that right in the middle of things is when that roaming monster is going to show up.

But, with a Ring of Bathroom Quickness, you can do everything from start to finish at 20 times normal speed! From unbuckling your belt to pulling up your pants can take just a few seconds of time as far as the outside world is concerned, but for you, things move at the normal speed. Get done doing your business and then get back to exploring! Please note that the ring cannot be fooled, so don’t even try to use it for speedy movement at other times.

What it looks like: Ivory ring with three tiny rubies set in a triangle.

The Doclopedia #509

Sort Of Cool Magical Rings: Ring of Food Seasoning

Typical rations for any party of adventurers generally taste like crap. Even if you’re out doors and can catch some fish or hunt some game, there usually isn’t much in the way of seasoning. Fortunately, this ring will season everything you eat so as to make it taste great. Big chunk of jerky and some hard as hell biscuit for dinner in the dungeon? The Ring of Food Seasoning will have that jerky tasting spicy and that biscuit sweat and buttery. Of course, the texture doesn’t change, but it will taste so good, you won’t care!

What it looks like: Silver ring, engraved with runes and images of food.

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