Mr. Porkwaffle Gets Chased By Saffron Finches

…pretty, but vicious

The Doclopedia #515

Magical Items For Modern Mages: Wand Of Eluding Pursuit

It happens all the time: you, running or driving for your life because there are demons or cops or vampires or psycho ex-lovers in hot pursuit. Sometimes you get away, sometimes you end up in a big fight. Either way, you end up stressed, tired and bloody.

So get yourself one of these wands, my friend! With this little baby, you can easily elude pursuit of any kind. Just wave it and something happens to delay or even stop your pursuers. Could be a truck blocking the road, could be a broken ankle, could be just about anything, but you don’t care because you’re getting the hell outta there!

What it looks like: Oak wood and copper want, 12 inches long


The Doclopedia #516

Magical Items For Modern Mages: Ring Of Hotwiring Vehicles

Naturally, we do not in any way condone vehicular theft or vandalism, but sometimes you need to get somewhere and you don’t have a car or cab fare. In those tense and morally troubling moments, you sometimes need to bypass legality and get going fast. This ring will help you do that by causing any vehicle you choose to start right up as soon as you are in position to control it. Works on cars, trucks, motorcycles, airplanes, boats and trains. Does not work on riding animals or brooms.

What it looks like: Made of woven plastic coated thin wires in white, red and green.

The Doclopedia #517

Magical Items For Modern Mages: Staff Of Moving Things

Maybe you need to move the corpse of a 700 pound troll. Maybe you need to move that big stone blocking the exit from the crypt. Hell, maybe you just need to move that bookshelf in your office. Whatever you need to move, this staff will do the trick! It can cause any item of up to 6,000 pounds to be moved up to 300 feet along the ground/floor. You might need to use it more than once on that troll corpse. Note: movement speed is only about 2 miles an hour, so don’t get in a hurry.

What it looks like: 6 foot staff of carved redwood with inlays of jade and turquoise.

 

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