…it did not end well.
Hey, y’all, go read the DogCon 3 report over on my fiction blog!
The Doclopedia #520
Magical Items For Modern Mages: Gloves Of Hacking
If you are a practitioner of the magical arts, chances are that you suck at using a computer, assuming they don’t catch fire when you are near them. This means you either have to hire a computer geek or trust somebody to get your internet info for you, two situations that are not ideal and can be costly in more ways than one. So what do you do?
You get a pair of these gloves and get online, that’s what! Put them on while you are still far enough away not to mess things up and you can sit right down at any computer and type away. Even better, these gloves will allow you to do all sorts of hacking, cracking and other stuff normally done by young male misanthropes jacked up on Mountain Dew and sitting in dark rooms. Now you, the modern mage, can get online and waste time just like ordinary folks!
What they look like: thin latex gloves covered in various computer geek terminology, with pictures of lolcats.
The Doclopedia #521
Magical Items For Modern Mages: Ring of Credit Approval
Somewhere, there are wealthy modern mages who have no worries about things financial. No, really, there are. We know all three of them.
However, most of you aren’t rich and all of you have pretty sucky credit histories, IF you have a credit history at all. That’s why this ring was created. You wear it, you go apply for a loan…or try to use an ATM…or a credit/debit card…and everything goes just fine. This ring also works with loan sharks and family & friends.
What it looks like: plastic ring the exact color of the blood you would squeeze from a stone.
The Doclopedia #522
Magical Items For Modern Mages: Wand Of Fast Food
No, we aren’t talking food from a fast food chain, we’re talking a good & healthy meal that appears on a plate with utensils and a glass of some healthy beverage. Exactly what it is will depend upon your preferences, but you always get veggies, meat or fish, fruit and grain in some form. When you’re done, the leftovers and plate/utensils vanish. Just the thing for those long nights spent studying ancient texts or sitting on stakeout.
What it looks like: 12 inch long stainless steel wand with a fork/spoon/knife combo at the top end.