Never Poke A Wild Boar With A Stick

…he might just be asleep, not dead


The Doclopedia #534

Worst. Smells. EVAR.: Dead Orcs

To be honest, orcs don’t smell all that great when they’re alive, but once they die, they turn the Stink dial up to 11. It’s pretty terrible.

The big problem is that orcs tend to die…well, actually, get killed…in large numbers because they attack other races, most of whom are better armed. The Meadows of Gavada are a beautiful place, but because the Battle of the Three Armies took place there two years ago, they are not visited by any creatures with a refined sense of smell. Sages estimate it may take another 5 years for the stench of 20,000 dead orcs to fade completely.

The Doclopedia #535

Worst. Smells. EVAR.: Green/Red Gravity Gas

As you all know from school, Green and Red Gravity Gases are what powers the vast fleets of air and space craft that make the British Empire the most powerful entity in the Solar system. The process is simple: Add more Green Gas to reduce the effects of gravity, add more Red to increase it.

The only real problem is that, while both gases are pretty malodorous, when mixed they smell “like Satan’s own shite”, to quote Professor Duncan Holstead, the creator of both gases. This is why specially trained personnel in specially trained suits work in the Gas Rooms, which themselves are always located as far as possible away from crew, officer and passenger quarters.


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