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The Doclopedia #536

 Worst. Smells. EVAR.: Were-rat Musk

 Why do we charge so much more to hunt down were-rats, you ask? Well mate, there’s four reasons, ain’t there?

 Number One: They live down in the bleedin’ sewers. ‘Ave you ever been in the sewers, mate? It’s not a stroll through the King’s garden, I tell ya.

 Number Two: Were-rats are smart little sods. Unlike yer other lycanthropes, they ain’t all caught up in a bloodlust frenzy. Were-rats are clever and they can set clever traps for blokes what don’t keep sharp.

 Number Three: Like rats, they come in large numbers. Yer were-wolf? Maybe two, tops. Were-bears? Never more’n one. But bleedin’ were-rats? If ya only meet up with 10-12 yer doin’ good. I reckon it makes up for ’em never being more than about 5 foot tall.

 Number Four: This here’s the big one. Were-rat males stink like no beer on a Saturday night. You can’t even imagine a worse stink, mate. I’d rather eat me lunch on a pile of rottin’ corpses than smell it. And the bleedin’ he rats rub it everywhere near their lair. By the time me an’ me mates wipe out a family of ’em, we’ve gotta spend near a week out in the woods bathin’ in herbal brews to get the stink off, plus we ‘ave to burn our clothin’.

 So now that yer up on all that, me an’ the boys would be glad to ‘andle yer were-rat problem. Cash in advance, of course.”

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