…I thought it was the CodPIECE of the Month Club. Man, was I wrong.
The Doclopedia #646
All Bottled Up: The Hard Stuff
Did you hear about Tom? No? Well, you know he’s been having a difficult time, um, in the bedroom, right? Yeah, erectile dysfunction, they call it. Anyway, it’s been going on for months and getting worse, so he was getting desperate. That’s how he found out about that herbalist in Chinatown, some old guy who makes this stuff that puts the lead back in the old pencil. All natural, ancient Chinese formula, yadda yadda.
So Tom goes to this guy, buys a quart bottle of the stuff and that night goes on a hot date. Things go well, so when they get back to his place, he pours himself a half ounce of the weenie starch and drinks it down. About 15 minutes later, he’s sporting wood and his night with the lady goes great.
This went on a couple more times and then a night comes when old Tom had a bit too much to drink. The half ounce dose doesn’t quite do the trick, so, being drunk, horny and not thinking straight, he chugs half the bottle. Bad mistake, because his johnson goes all petrified hard and it isn’t a good feeling. After about an hour, he’s panicking and calls 911 and things just go south from there.
He’s in the hospital now and they had to sorta reroute his urinary tract so he can pee. The old Chinese guy came by and told him it would be a week or two before he went limp again. Even worse, the story made it into the newspapers and now the local TV stations want to interview him.
I’m guessing he’s gonna lay off the hard stuff after this.