Not In This Issue: Robot Rabbits, Steamy Dreams and Soggy Doggies

…Soggy Doggies are for next month


The Doclopedia #648

All Bottled Up: Motion Potion

From a discussion between Bertram and Augustus, Wizards & Dungeon Creators

Bertram: Alright then, Augie, we’re on to the third level and any visitors should be running low on magic by now.

Augustus: True enough, Bertie! I think we should place a nice bottle of Speedy Movement potion in Room 3-B. Say, enough for 6 doses, so as to let the whole party speed up.

Bertram: Oh, I say, that’s a great idea! Heehee, they’ll all have a good chug of it, of course. The better to get through the level that much faster, eh?

Augustus: But of course! We’ll make it so it lasts at least an hour, then, around about Room 3-L, we’ll have our floors enchanted with a Reduced Friction spell…that only works on creatures that have consumed the Speedy Movement potion!

Bertram: AHahahahahaha! Oh, Augie, you slay me! Hahaha! I can just picture those poor sods slipping and falling and crashing into walls and whatever. Hahaha! We’ll want some less lethal monsters on this level, so as to make sure they survive to Level 4.

Augustus: Heh heh, oh yes, to be sure. I think skeletons and maybe a nice little kobold colony. Oh, oh, and a Slimy Slitherer, too!

Bertram: Oh ho ho, yes! Not lethal, but disgusting and slippery. Hahaha! I can just see their faces.

Augustus: Hahaha! So can I. Oh, my, it will be a riot. Of course, we’ll give them a nice bit of loot for their trouble. Now, in room 3-P, I’m thinking a Fountain of Healing, guarded by a Stinky Cloud trap…



The Doclopedia #649

All Bottled Up: Beer To Eternity

Gentlemen, please, a moment of silence and respect. Thank you.

Oh Great Hodrammon, God of Drinking, we who are assembled here are humbled in your presence and the presence of your great creation, the Eternally Full Bottle Of Ale. I…I am lost for words to describe my awe and wonder and, yes, love at this moment. Just to know that there is such a thing as a bottle of ale that, upon being drunk dry, will refill itself within seconds, causes me to weep tears of joy. Great Hodrammon, we, the Brotherhood of the Grain & Hops, hope that we are worthy in your eyes to drink from this bottle on special occasions. Blessed be your name, now and forever!

OK, boys, bar’s open!


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