My Moral Compass Is Off By Several Degrees

…not that I let that stop me

The Doclopedia #655

Warning Labels: Deep Fried Fleems

WARNING: Deep Fried Fleems are VERY HOT! Do not insert them into your nutrient intake orifice until they have cooled off a bit. (Not: Glaxians, Korrdruu & X’XaaanXaa may ignore that warning)

If your body is unable to process high levels of Tungsten, you should avoid eating Deep Fried Fleems unless you have had biological adjustment by a Doctor.

Deep Fried Fleems can result in prolonged and possibly self igniting flatulence in some species.

NEVER mix Deep Fried Fleems with alcohol or the blood of a Tyskor Beast.

Allergen Warning: Fleems are cleansed and processed on the same equipment used for Golib Ears, Poosh Livers and Lilili Essence.



The Doclopedia #656

Warning Labels: Do It Yourself Monster Kit

WARNING: Failure to read the following could result in death, destruction, madness and the end of civilization as we know it.

1: Your Do It Yourself Monster Kit is designed for the creation of a single monster of up to 8 feet in height and 1,600 pounds in weight. Creation of monsters larger than that will reduce their mental stability and your ability to control them.

2: While more than one kit can be combined to create very large monsters, it is not recommended and will void your warranty.

3: The Do It Yourself Monster Kit does not allow monsters to reproduce. Making any modifications to the kit to allow reproduction will void your warranty and almost certainly result in your death.

4: Do It Yourself Monsters do not play well with others. If you create and activate more than one, there will be a fight that you cannot control. Even if one monster destroys another, the winner will now be berserk.

5: Failure to feed your Do It Yourself Monster regularly will result in a loss of control and serious rampaging.

6: Do It Yourself Monster Kits may not be legal in all areas. Please consult local laws.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s