The Incredible Turtle-Man Meets The Evil Supergrannies!

…the battle YOU requested! By Lee & Kirby!

 

The Doclopedia #695

Mixing Magical Potions: Potion Of Strength + Potion Of Ghostly Form

If you drink these two potions within an hour of each other, you may experience one or more of the following side effects in addition to the two potions canceling each other out: Rapid growth of all body hair, auditory hallucinations, severe (and we mean SEVERE) constipation, itchy feet, transformation into a duck, violent sneezing of highly acidic snot, the ability to float in the air, increased sexual appetite and incorporeal arms.

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The Doclopedia #697

Mixing Magical Potions: Potion Of Invisibility + Elixir Of Healing

The Adventurers Guild has recorded the following side effects from consuming these two potions within a time period of less than 15 minutes: Explosion, colorblindness, gooey face, butterfly wings that are useless and a sudden allergy to water.

Additionally, if you are an Elf, you may undergo transformation into a Mud Goblin or suffer from various sensory hallucinations.

Dwarves and Half Orcs will have all of the side effects except explosion. They will also smell like gardenias for 6 hours.

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The Doclopedia #698

Mixing Magical Potions: Elixir Of Protection VS The Undead + Potion Of Flame Breath

Humans and Halflings may mix these two potions without ill effect. Indeed, in some cases they will actually have the third effect of making ones skin much tougher than normal.

Dwarves who mix them will get stomach cramps and blurry vision, but will still get the benefit of the potions.

Elves will turn bright yellow and only the Potion of Flame Breath will take effect.

Half Orcs who drink this mix will turn into mice. This will last 48 hours.

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The Doclopedia #699

Mixing Magical Potions: Potion Of Flight + Potion Of Night Vision

For all races, the only known side effect of mixing these two potions is a tendency to giggle frequently and farts that smell delicious to all known monster species.

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DogCon 5, Trip Day 4

We started today with doughnuts and assorted drinks, then drove over to Market Street, where we left the bus looking like a Homeland Security SUV. I figured that way, nobody would fuck with it or give it a parking ticket. I was correct.

From there, we walked around a bit, then went to a crack house…I mean, used book store.

Flash: When I say most of these humans have a book buying habit, I actually mean “addiction way worse than heroin or crystal meth”.

The critters were unimpressed, but most of us humans left with bags of books. Big bags of books. When we got back on the bus, I asked Joe if he could pop us up a book storage closet, which he did.

The next couple of hours was mostly sightseeing, although we adults did go visit the “Museum of Human Sexuality” for about half an hour. As you might expect of such a place, it was pretty eye opening even for a jaded old fart like me. A couple of our group were still blushing hours later.

Sasha: Meanwhile, back on the bus, we were having big fun in the Slide Room.

Flash: The Slide Room is just freakin’ great!

Bea: Oh yes it is, except that after about an hour of sliding, your butt gets sore.

Lucy: Yeah, I think I might have worn the fur off the underside of my tail.

Abby: I can’t get my tail to wag, but it was still hella fun.

For lunch, we descended like geeky locusts on a place in the Mission District that makes great Mexican tortas. I had the pork, Grace had beef and everyone else pretty much tried most of what was on the menu. I was pleased to introduce several of my companions to horchata for the first time.

Flash: I just love Mexican food! That barbacoa…mmmmm!

The Other Critters: We’ll be putting on our gas masks.

Flash: Oh yeah, like dogs & goats never fart.

About 1:30 we climbed on the bus and rolled out of The City, heading north to Wine Country. We only stopped at a couple of places, but wine was tasted and purchased. We also stopped at a cheese shop and bought quite a lot of assorted cheeses.

Abby: Including several goat cheeses!

Bea: Goat cheese rules!

Sasha: And it is very tasty stuff!

At 6:30, we arrived at a State Park campground just south of Fort Bragg. I’m writing this as everybody else is walking along the beach. In a few minutes, I’ll be starting dinner, which will be steaks. After that, it will be time for board games until bedtime. Tomorrow, we’ll be hitting no less than four roadside attractions, one of which is “The World Famous Redwood Balloon Tour”.

Radio Station:Alt. Beatles”, music from the hundreds of alternate versions of The Beatles, a couple of whom are, in fact, beetles

Destination Sign: Castle Dracula

 

 

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