George, The Meanest Turkey On Earth

…he once trapped a family of six in a Volkswagen Beetle. True story.


The Doclopedia #745

Fiction Snippets: Dungeon Diary #2

Amella had no sooner picked the lock than the door burst open and out poured a half dozen of the same Mother forsaken flesh golems that we had battled in the Basket Room. Fortunately, Amella was able to jump out of the way of the door and then leap onto the back of the biggest golem, where she proceeded to start stabbing away with her favorite daggers.

Shen hit one golem with a Shaft of Fire spell, which took it’s lower right arm off, but only slowed it down a bit. I’m not sure what her next spell was, since I was busy using my Blessed Mace of Smashing to kneecap the golem nearest me.

I did see Halana & Kreta tear into two other golems, one of which manages to punch Halana in the face. That was a very bad move, because our big barbarian woman really hates getting punched. She used her hand axes to chop that golems head off, then remove his limbs from his torso. As she would point out later, a headless, limbless golem was a good golem.

As is her style, Kreta kept up a running stream of taunts towards the golems as she battered the one nearest her with that hammer of hers. I’m pretty sure she left no bones unbroken.

You may have noticed, diary, that I only mentioned us attacking 5 of the 6 flesh golems. That’s because the sixth and smallest one just stopped and wasn’t attacking any of us. All of them were dressed in raggedy old pants, but this one also seemed to be wearing a raggedy old shirts. He didn’t look any smarter than the rest and he was sure less aggressive, so we pretty much decided to leave him for last.

As the final golem fell and we turned towards the little guy, he reached into his pockets and removed a couple of handfuls of dust. As he let it fall from his hands onto the other golems, they began to…well, melt is the best word I can think of to describe it. That was not good and it got much less good when the golem ooze started flowing towards the little guy.

As the ooze touched hum, he began to grow and change. I said a Prayer of Nullification, but whatever magic was going on was unaffected by it. Shen cast a spell of Disruption, but it was also ineffective. Whatever magic has been cast upon that dust by the creator of these golems, it was very powerful stuff.

Within about 2 minutes, the little golem was 12 feet tall, seriously muscular and had four arms. It also had a second face on the back of it’s head and long sharp teeth in both mouths. I prayed for guidance from the Mother. Halana, Kreta and Amella all uttered heartfelt obscenities. Shen just said “Well this isn’t going to be fun.

Oh, diary, how right she was!