I Was An Undercover Gardener For The FBI

…i helped capture many Communist shrubs and flowers

 

The Doclopedia #749

Alt. Most Wanted: Kookie Calabrese

Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Subject Kookie Calabrese has been spotted in the financial district. Subject is in the process of painting all of the banks pink while his gang loots them. Be on the lookout for trained monkeys. Monkeys are armed with glue guns and sneeze gas bombs. Also, be aware that many civilians are gathered nearby watching. Subject Kookie Calabrese is wanted for 112 counts of vandalism, 19 counts of robbery, 34 counts of assault on a police officer and 3 counts of arson. Proceed with caution. That is all.

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The Doclopedia #750

Alt. Most Wanted: The Doovmox

We interrupt this entertainment to advise all sentients that The Doovmox has escaped incarceration in the Tower of Hopeful Redemption and is now loose in the city. Our Beloved Protectors are at this time unable to track The Doovmox and are requesting that all righteous sentients report any sightings or interactions with The Doovmox.

Until the eventual capture of The Doovmox, you are instructed to keep your heens and cloobs indoors and secure. If you are of the Anticipator or Relaxer faiths, you should dress in pastel colored jidbars and go with all haste to your nearest pyramid. It is also advised that all robots of Level 4 or below be put into rest mode until The Doovmox is captured.

We now return to the previous entertainment.

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The Doclopedia #751

Alt. Most Wanted: Dr. Fushi Sakama

The World Science Authority hereby issues a warrant for the return, alive if possible, dead if necessary, of Dr. Fushi Sakama, mad genius and notorious creator of kaiju monsters. Sakama has been behind the attacks on Japan, China, the west coasts of the United States & Chile and the north and east of Australia. His monsters include the huge reptile/cat Domoru, the giant twin bear/crabs Tamba & Eki, the enormous rat/dragon Yushira and the towering duck/gorilla Kroda. More, as yet unnamed monsters have been sighted heading for Southeast Asia, India, Africa, Europe and the east coasts of North & South America.

It is believed that Sakama is hiding out on an island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. If he has been joined by his old friend, Dr. Henry Sutton, the island may be guarded by octomen, fungus women, cat people and lizard people. Be careful around these deadly creatures!

Dr. Sakama has stated in the past that he wishes to create a 1,000 foot tall man/demon/skunk/lizard creature called Hetura. If he manages to do this, the world will be doomed. All military forces worldwide are now ordered to find Dr. Sakama and destroy his island and all his creatures!

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