…but we do have purple, derringers and a very nice hadrosaur
The Doclopedia #752
Alt. Most Wanted: Doctor Dumoire
The vile miscreant known as Doctor Dumoire is wanted for crimes against humanity, unsanctioned experimentation on human beings, transplantation of human intellect into machines, criminal robotics, murder, robbery, theft, treason, inciting riots, arson, forgery, escape from custody, blackmail and 34 other offenses. And that’s just in England. In his native France, the list is much longer. In Germany, the United States and 21 other countries, there is a one million dollar reward to anybody who shoots him dead.
Doctor Dumoire is 5’10” tall, has thinning black hair, one brown eye and one green eye, walks with a slight limp and often wears clothing of a style & fashion from 30-50 years in the past. He is accompanied by his faithful servants Marcel & Denise, as well as his large diesel powered ape, Doro.
The Doclopedia #753
Alt. Most Wanted: Sunlight Glitterdown
Sunlight Glitterdown is a thief who steals pollen cakes, rain ale, spinny wheels and other things. When other faeries are doing good work, he throws mud at them and says rude things. He is a big poop! If you see him, you should pelt him with sleepydust until he falls down, then drag him to the Cage of Shame. He is naughty…very very naughty.