Three Men In A Hovercraft

…to say nothing of the duck

 

The Doclopedia #776

Direct To Video: Cthulhu Beach Party (1986)

It’s a 1960’s style beach party movie combined with a horror movie and played for laughs! While teenage love blossoms on the beach to the sounds of surf revival bands, a group of cultists try to awaken Great Cthulhu. Featuring 10 seconds of stop motion animated Cthulhu that is repeated three times and 6 seconds showing him dying from “electric guitar sound waves”. Film critic Rodger Egbert gave this film three thumbs down and called it “a steaming pile of shit.

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The Doclopedia #777

Direct To Video: The Godfather In Love (1975)

Calling itself “the story of Don Vito’s first love”, this ultra cheap Italian quickie features a 9 year old Vito Corleone and his crush on young Mary, an Irish girl he meets in church. The entire movie has about 15 minutes of gangster footage, all of it about Vito’s uncles, Guido and Al. The acting of everyone except the two children playing Vito & Mary is terrible. In 1977, the same company made “The Godfather’s Revenge”, wherein an 11 year old Vito plots revenge on the older boys who stole his bicycle. These two movies were not released in the United States until 1985.

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The Doclopedia #778

Direct To Video: Giant Chihuahuashark And MegaCatapus Vs RoboHamzilla and DinoBunny (2011)

This made for Si-Fy Network movie has the singular distinction of being so wretched that people can’t help but watch it. Apparently, the absurdity of a giant half chihuahua/half shark and an enormous Octopus/cat teaming up to fight a 200 foot tall robot hamster/lizard and a humongous prehistoric carnivorous rabbit just shorts out folks minds and they have to watch it to answer the burning question “What The Fuck?”. Thankfully, the sequel, “MegaCatapus Vs Giant Corgisnake” was way more easily ignored.

 

 

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