It’s All Fun & Games Until Somebody Drops The Soap

…even then, somebody may be having fun


The Doclopedia #791

Guardians: The Guardian of the Eye

Deep in the uncharted jungles of southeast Asia, carved from the living rock of a remote mountain, is a statue of the Great God Aggamar and set in his forehead is the All Seeing Eye of Aggamar. The jungle folk and the priests of Aggamar all believe that it is a very powerful magical item that allows Aggamar to watch over them. They do not take kindly to foreigners poking around anywhere near the mountain.

In reality, the All Seeing Eye of Aggamar is a ruby the size of a bowling ball set in the forehead of the huge statue. Regardless of whether it has magical powers, it is worth a boatload of cash back in the civilized world. So IF you can locate the area of the mountain, get there through deadly jungles, get past the jungle folk (who just happen to eat foreign human meat when they can get it), get past the fanatical priests (who never all sleep at the same time and are armed with weapons and maybe magic), get past the traps that are set up all around the statue, CLIMB the 350 foot tall statue and get the Eye…

the Guardian will probably kill you anyway.

The Guardian is a mutant creature, part man, part reptile. It is strong, tough, quick and has a poisonous bite. The Guardian stands 10 feet tall and has long sharp claws and a strong semi-prehensile tail. It cannot be reasoned with and it will probably eat you after it kills you.

But what the heck, you might as well give it a try. That ruby would sure as heck pay the bills for a long time to come.



The Doclopedia #792

Guardians: Kalidox, Guardian of Tower Isle

Once upon a time, in a land where magic was everywhere, a group of very wise wizards built a very special wizard’s tower on an island in the Specific Ocean. In this tower, they put all of their most powerful magical items and their books full of spells, so that they would not fall into the hands of evil people. They named the tower the Tower of Power and they named the island Tower Isle.

To guard the tower, the wizards worked great magic and created a giant creature named Kalidox. Kalidox would never need to eat or sleep, and if anyone came to the island and did not give him the password (which was “flumogulated krelbs”), he would pound them into mush.

For 300 years, people kept coming to the island to try to steal the magical treasure and for 300 years, Kalidox beat them into mush. Eventually, people stopped coming to the island, since getting pounded into mush was not at all fun. After another century or so, even the wizards who built the tower stopped coming. After another century or two, the existence of the island faded into legend. But Kalidox is still there, still guarding the tower.

Now, even though he is very large and very strong and very nearly immortal, Kalidox still has feelings. Recently, he has been feeling very lonely. Oh, sure, he can speak to the local wildlife and sometimes he goes down to the beach to chat with the seals and sea birds, but it is mostly a one sided conversation. He has even started to think that if anyone did come to the island, he might hold off on pounding them into mush if they would just chat with him a bit. Actually, since the last wizard died, he has been feeling a bit less devoted to protecting the tower. He has sometimes thought that it might be nice to leave the island and travel.

That is something for treasure hunters to think about.


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